I feel uncomfortable having serious conversations with my partner
my boyfriend says, I only like to talk lovey dovey whatever the hell that means. He also says I avoid serious topics and get bored whenever his making serious conversations. For instance work, school, and money. In my defense I find the topics of school to be really boring and money to be tiring. With these we have problems having any type of conversation since our relationship is long distance. What do I do about this situation??
It sounds like you don't want to be with him anymore if you don't even want to talk to him. Communication is key to any relationship - especially a long distance one. If you don't communicate, you don't really have a relationship. Sounds like it's time to move on.
Workingmomwm.. its not like i dont want to talk to him, its just that ever since i was little all everyone around me cared about was money and education and i've had lots of negatives attached to it. So when its brought up i automatically feel uncomfortable for some reason.
It seems that you and your boyfriend are on different lines on communication. You may be thinking and fantasizing with the relationship (probably because you miss him), and he's coming from a more pragmatic level. Figure out what you need out of the relationship, and more importantly, why you are in it. Would you rather be with him (or someone) to be romantic with right now? Ask him what he needs, and you should be able to come up with a solution to either communicate with each other satisfactorily, or leave each other alone.
Have you considered the possibility that you have the wrong partner (for you)? If you can't discuss any topic with your partner without getting bored or uncomfortable, something is wrong that is more serious than his topics. Think about it. Both people in a "couple" should find each other interesting. Couple-hood isn't romance 24/7. If you can't talk to each other, and you aren't married and/or don't have kids, it may be time to say goodbye. Incompatibility means more than whether or not you are physically matched. Your minds should mesh fairly well, too.
These topics may be boring and tiring, but they're important to your partner. It's okay to have negative feelings about these topics because of your upbringing, but try to be open to the fact that they aren't necessarily boring coming from your partner. Communication is important. Values are also important. If you still feel uncomfortable talking about these topics, try to find someone who shares your views.
Some people avoid difficult conversations with loved ones because it makes them feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, if you avoid dealing with a difficult situation, you’re actually prolonging the agony and may be creating some resentment. It’s important that you talk.Relationships are all about compromise.Your level of satisfaction with the relationship depends much on how you carry it. Giving your partner what they need is not the same as giving up. Your attitude here is very important.
If you are able to carry out successful difficult conversation, then it is one of the most valuable tools you can have in your relationship. This isn’t easy, but with time, willingness and practice anyone can get it.
If you find each other's topics so boring you're may not be meant to remain partners anymore. Healthy relationships rest on listening to each other and showing that you care about it. So do you love him enough to help him tackle his problems every once in a while or would you rather prefer one of your own vibe?
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