No. Why give the other woman that level of respect?
To approach her is like saying the huband didn't make the "choice" to cheat.
The wife needs to "check her huband" and find out if they want to work things out or move on. If he's "serious" about making amends he will bend over backwards to get into his wife's good graces. He'll drop kick "the other woman" so fast her head will spin. On the other hand if he is not truly sorry about what took place he may act "powerless" or "weak" when it comes to getting his house in order.
Lastly the wife has to do some serious introspective thinking to figure out if she can REALLY forgive her husband. (Most people jump to forgiveness as a reflex because the thought of ending the marriage and learning about the affair is too much to process all at once.) As time passes the (anger) returns even if their spouse has done everything possible to get back on track. Suddenly "forgiveness" seems like a "free pass" which can possibly lead them to do some "revenge cheating." Others keep throwing the affair into the spouse's face until he or she decides to cheat again or leave. You have to really know yourself when it comes to having the ability to forgive and rebuild trust in someone.
My advice is if you learn your mate has cheated on you to take a "time out" for one to two weeks. You need that time to determine if you can ever get over it. (This only makes sense if the cheater is sincerly asking for forgiveness and is willing to do whatever it takes). To forgive someone who is not (honestly sorry) for the pain they cause you is not so much "forgiving" them as it is "not loving yourself".
Having said that each of us is entitled to have our own "deal breakers". If cheating is not a "deal breaker" then continue to work on the relationship.
I think you should. My husband cheated on me, but was totally sorry and willing to do anything to make our marriage work again. I had forgiven him and we are moving on and our relationship is stronger. But every time when I think about the other woman that had almost cost our family to be broken and my 2 lovely kids to lose their father, I feel so angry with her. She briefly met my husband in the hotel (Oriental Mandarin Hotel in Boston - she is a restaurant hostess) where she is working while my husband was there for a conference. She then flirts with my husband and exchange email and asked him to keep in touch. Of course I have my husband to blame for cheating. My husband told her he is married but that does not stop her and she even offer to meet him in Las Vegas while he will be there for his next conference. They had a short 4 days affair in Las Vegas. I am still mad with shameless and selfish woman like her who just met my husband once and then willing to fly all the way to LV to meet a total stranger. She then subsequently declare her love to him and wanted him to leave his family so that they can live happily together. She even said she will wait for him no matter how long and how tough the road is going to be. She even wrote me an email declaring her love to him and told me that I stop them from seeing each other is a very hard things for them.
Now it's been a year now but everytime when I think about how selfish this woman is and how much pain she had caused me, makes me angry. I am contemplating to call her now as I feel that the advise always said do not call them, but why??? That's why there are so many woman out there that willingly break family up and sleep with married man as the wife will not confront them as that is what the norm is. I think we should all start standing up for ourselves!
Well, I'd love for the wife to contact me...boy, would I give her an earful. No, it really won't make any difference to the OW. It's the husband who is at fault. He should say no and be the one to put his foot down and tell her to leave him alone.
by Cheryl A Whitsett 5 years ago
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by seyiari 8 years ago
i want you to tell fellow hubbers what you will do if you find out that your wife or husband is having a secrete love affair or an extra marital affair with your best friend.
by Carolee Samuda 2 years ago
How do you fix a relationship whose trust has been broken by infidelity?
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