In a dating relationship, if your partner cheats on you twice, would you take th

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  1. Esenbee profile image70
    Esenbeeposted 7 years ago

    In a dating relationship, if your partner cheats on you twice, would you take them back? Explain.

    Some people view cheating in relationships as a "bump" in the road and feel that it can be worked out. Personally I don't feel that way because I view cheating as blatant disrespect. But to each is own though.

  2. ChristinS profile image39
    ChristinSposted 7 years ago

    I'm with you; it is blatant disrespect and I would not tolerate it.  If they are cheating while you're only dating they obviously have commitment issues and are not going to be ideal long-term partners or spouses, so why waste one's time?  Plenty more fish in the sea I say.

    1. Esenbee profile image70
      Esenbeeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly! I believe how a person carries themselves while dating determines how they may behave in a marriage. And cheating is a big no no!

  3. FatFreddysCat profile image94
    FatFreddysCatposted 7 years ago

    I wouldn't even take'em back if they cheated once, never mind twice. You don't get a second shot.

    1. Esenbee profile image70
      Esenbeeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Amen to that! You strike out once with me!

    2. profile image57
      PoojaMehta0911posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      very true

  4. lisavollrath profile image88
    lisavollrathposted 7 years ago

    I have two hard and fast rules for anyone I date: never raise a hand to me, and never cheat. I truly believe that anyone who would resort to physical violence once will do it again, and anyone who cheats will do it again.

    I actually walked away from a long-term relationship because I learned my partner had been cheating, and lying to cover it up. I knew that this was a pattern: have trouble with a relationship, find another girl, rather than do the work to make things better. I knew I was with someone prone to this behavior, so once I discovered the cheating, I packed my things and walked away.

    1. Esenbee profile image70
      Esenbeeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I commend you for having the strength to walk away from that and I do too have similar rules when dating. I feel cheating and physical abuse are signs of a deeper moral and spiritual issue that the cheater/abuser has to deal with...but alone!

    2. savvydating profile image89
      savvydatingposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I'm with Lisa. Don't cheat and never hit. Two great rules.

  5. profile image57
    PoojaMehta0911posted 7 years ago

    A big no no.. A person who has already cheated on you 2 times would obviously not think before the third one.

    Rather look out for a life partner who is loyal and you can spend your whole life with with ease...

    1. Esenbee profile image70
      Esenbeeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Amen Amen!

  6. dashingscorpio profile image81
    dashingscorpioposted 7 years ago

    There would be no twice for me. The first time is a "deal breaker".
    Every cheater lies directly, indirectly, or by omission.
    Nevertheless I suppose there are some people who really do believe it was their actions/lack of actions that led their mate to step outside.
    Such things as alienation of affection/sex, constant arguing, "dream killer" or unsupportive, verbal put downs, and the like. If someone (knows) they have been mistreating their mate they might be willing to forgive because they believe what they did made it easy to cheat.
    Few cheaters are looking to replace one relationship with another
    The goal of most cheaters is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side.
    I believe there are 3 basic cheaters
    The Incessant Cheater
    This person has never been faithful in any long term relationship. They get bored easily and crave the excitement that comes with being with someone (new). They view monogamy as being on a very strict diet. It's not a matter of (if) but (when) they will cheat. Their motto: "Variety is the spice of life!"
    The Unbelievable Opportunity Cheater
    This person isn't proactively looking to cheat. They may have a secret crush on someone or they feel a person is "hot". One day this person hits on them! It's an unbelievable opportunity to turn a "fantasy" into reality. This is especially true if they are on a business trip or away on boys/girls getaway vacation...etc
    The "stars" are lined up in such a way they're not likely to get caught so they cave in to temptation. This type of cheater has been known to confess weeks, months, or years later if the guilt becomes too much.
    The Discontented Cheater
    He/she blames YOU! If you hadn't done or stopped doing whatever they never would have...etc The bottom line is you no longer made them feel "special". Someone came along smiled, complimented, and told them wonderful things about all the great treatment they deserve.
    He or she {flirted with them} and made them feel desirable...etc

    1. Esenbee profile image70
      Esenbeeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Awesome break down of it...I never thought of cheating in that way

    2. dashingscorpio profile image81
      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Betrayal hurts no matter which type one encounters. However like everything else not (all) of anything is the same. Individual circumstances always come into play. Age, maturity, peer pressure can be a factor as well. Having single friends..etc

  7. tamarawilhite profile image86
    tamarawilhiteposted 7 years ago

    Nope, because it is now a tendency/habit.

    1. Esenbee profile image70
      Esenbeeposted 7 years agoin reply to this


  8. rexy profile image59
    rexyposted 7 years ago

    'in a dating relationship'  no...
    once a cheater,
    twice a cheater,
    always a cheater...
    so no.... l would say he than has too much ego...

    1. Esenbee profile image70
      Esenbeeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yes I agree 100%

  9. roselinsojan profile image60
    roselinsojanposted 7 years ago

    NO,I will never tolerate such a thing.I never marry such a person but I allow him to be my  friend.

    1. Esenbee profile image70
      Esenbeeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yes...that very very distant friend lol

  10. fpherj48 profile image61
    fpherj48posted 7 years ago

    In a "dating" relationship:  How long have you been dating?  Have you made obvious, verbal & specific commitments to one another?  Do you each know that dating someone else would be the END of your current relationship?
    Depending upon the answers to these questions, we should be able to know precisely what we would and would not do in the case of cheating.  It's best to cut your losses and walk away~do not look back~ & choose more selectively the next time.
    I agree with you that this signifies disrespect but there's so much more to it.  It's pure deceit, selfishness & a subtle form of control.  At one time in my life, I may have believed in "once a cheater, always a cheater," but through experiences and maturity, it's safe to say that individuals can and do make terrible decisions and poor choices that may cause chaos & grief in their lives.  These same people are fully capable of being truly sorry, making amends and turning around to never commit these crimes of the heart ever again.  It's a tough call, but 2 people who love one another enough can and do get through this.
    IMHO, this is all quite different in a marriage but that was not your question, so I'll save my answer for this question when it involves marriage.

    1. Esenbee profile image70
      Esenbeeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your answer! Wonderfully stated!

  11. Cheeky Girl profile image67
    Cheeky Girlposted 7 years ago

    I'm a woman who is bi, and I have not been cheated on since I prefer open relationships. I don't walk around with my head in the clouds thinking everyone is decent and monogamous.

    The person I was with in the past was up front and honest and because I know everything, it was not "cheating" but allowed and permitted. It's hard to explain this to people who want closed relationships with just one person.

    If the person cheats on a person 2 times, it generally means the person is no longer interested in the first person. But if the "cheater" does not even bother to inform that the relationship is changed, then it is more or less over. It's hard to accept, but must be done. Not telling the original love interest just shows a lack of respect or a total breakdown in relations or just pure coldness and indifference. If that is the case, leave the person and move on. Don't waste time analyzing it.

    When a person lacks the maturity to even say why it is happening, they either don't admit the problem because it has not been properly shown or indicated to them - or they don't care about being "caught" out. It depends who is the strongest in the relationship as well.

    Some partners might even enjoy degrading their former romantic interest for some reason or due to an old argument or bad blood.

    It's worth giving the person a second chance, but provided the absolute dire threat of leaving the relationship is made, otherwise the partner who is cheating will let it slide, and make a bet it won't happen, for whatever reason. There is always a stronger person in any relationship. Dating is part of life. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Hope this helps you somehow.

    Best of luck, and don't give up hope. There is a person out there made for us all.

    1. Esenbee profile image70
      Esenbeeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much and this has helped me out alot!! I agree with everything you said!

  12. krischavez profile image60
    krischavezposted 7 years ago

    They said that second chances are sweeter, but of course if he did it many times, cheat and broke your heart. Leave him! There would be a better person that God will give you in time. In love, it should be loyalty and respect in one another.

    1. Esenbee profile image70
      Esenbeeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yes ma'am for sure!!

  13. ElenasModels profile image59
    ElenasModelsposted 7 years ago

    If a partner cheats once in my relationship now, I won't take him back. Because we actually talked about it before we became seriously involved.

    I remember sitting in a beautiful restaurant in Sydney with my future husband and as usual in our dating connection, we were trying each other's food. This is where I said, "One of my friends said she never shares her men and her food. I love sharing food but I never share my men."

    We had more conversations about relationships later, where we could make it clear what our expectations were. So, now we both agree that cheating means that you no longer want to be in this relationship.
    While it always means the same thing, not all people have truly realized who they are and what they want in life. If you are a couple, it's best to have these conversations when an opportunity arises and set the boundaries.
    Personally, I am from the culture where it is widely accepted that "all men cheat." I was born in Russia and, surprisingly as it may sound, it is still the woman who is blamed for her husband's infidelity there: Didn't she give him enough sex? Was she moody? What did she do wrong to cause him cheat? It is one of the major differences between western men and Russian men source URL: … ian-men/].
    While cheating is looked down upon in all cultures, it's important that every couple has the conversation about it before they become an item. Once there is a boundary that is clearly spelled out and not just implied (people have their own ideas what cheating is and what it means), then both partners are on the same page.

    1. Esenbee profile image70
      Esenbeeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your answer. I agree that cheating should be discussed before the relationship gets serious. I think we get caught up in the "getting to know" phase in the beginning rather than really getting to deeper issues.

  14. teddi6 profile image62
    teddi6posted 6 years ago

    I don't see it as a "Bump".  That person is telling you, loud and clear that they're looking for greener grass. They just want to keep your cake!

    Life is far too short to wait for someone to treat you the way you want to be treated.  Let them go.  Wait for the person who will respect you when you're together - and especially when you're not

    1. Esenbee profile image70
      Esenbeeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I agree!


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