Do I need my mother's approval when I want to marry the man I love?

Jump to Last Post 1-11 of 11 discussions (11 posts)
  1. pajamazzon profile image58
    pajamazzonposted 6 years ago

    Do I need my mother's approval when I want to marry the man I love?

    I'm 34 years old and I live in an Asian country where people ,even in their 40s still asking for their parents approval on things. My mother didn't approve of me marrying my boyfriend because he wanted me to move to the U.S. I much appreciate all the advise I can get, Thank you very much

  2. profile image0
    Indigitalposted 6 years ago

    Of course, it's your right to be allowed marriage; to be allowed love and to be allowed freedom. I doubt, in almost any society in this day and age, you'd be enforced against the love of your life. Just remember, lover and family must go hand in hand to have a happy life.

    Try to make your Mother believe that he is the right man. Most of all, make sure he makes her believe as well.

  3. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 6 years ago

    Life is a personal journey. You have to live your life on your terms. If you don't you will never know what true happiness is. Having the freedom to make your own choices is what being an adult is all about.

  4. ronhi profile image73
    ronhiposted 6 years ago

    Its important to be in agreement with your parents but not when it interferes with your happiness.. i dont mean to sound rude but they had their life to live and you have yours to live too. So the marriage decision should be yours

    But on the other hand, you need to find out why your mum is opposed to the idea. Chances are, its nothing serious...maybe just some culture conflict but maybe there is a good reason why she is opposed to it,,,just maybe

  5. brittanytodd profile image91
    brittanytoddposted 6 years ago

    My husband's parents were not happy when he told them he was going to propose to me.  After he did, he told me about their disapproval and it broke my heart.  They had no reason against it except that we were "too young."  We were about to graduate from college and wanted to start a life together.  Our engagement period was a horrible time.  They would send us books about making a big decision to convince us to not go through with it.

    Once my husband showed them that this was his decision to make and that he had made up his mind, they finally agreed to be supportive.  It took a lot of strength to stick to what we wanted despite their disapproval, but they came around eventually.  I know it's hard, but if you rationally voice your reason for wanting to marry him, your mother should understand.  Good luck and I hope that I have encouraged you.

  6. lburmaster profile image81
    lburmasterposted 6 years ago

    I don't think so. She is not the one getting married to him, you are. You should try to make it easy for her. But you are still the one in-charge during this time.

  7. Borsia profile image43
    Borsiaposted 6 years ago

    It all depends on your culture, your family and your relative feelings toward both.
    It might cause a break between you and your mother at least for a period of time.
    In many Asian cultures the daughter is supposed to look after the mother. Obviously I have no idea what culture you are from but this could be seen by the mother as being dumped so to speak.

    My ex's family didn't speak to me for the first 6 years we were together.
    Their reason was that I came to pick her up barefoot. It was summer, I drove a convertible and we were going on a picnic... go figure?
    They eventually got over it and we got along fine after.

  8. juiwei2000 profile image61
    juiwei2000posted 6 years ago

    I think you should aks your parent's approval, there is an old saying "Blood is thicker then water." and marriage is not a necessity in life, you should NEVER choose your boy friend over your parent, not unless your parents never raise you for a single day.  Plus, move to another country for a guy?  Come on, that is stupid.

  9. HotUrban profile image66
    HotUrbanposted 6 years ago

    No absolutly not. It's your life, not hers. Whilst I think traditions and cultures should be respected, not if it comes at the cost of personal freedom. It's exactly that problem I have with religion. I don't mind who want's to believe in what but I have the problem with those beliefs being pushed on others.

    In my experience it is often the parent that pushes their beliefs on the children and then can't understand why they don't agree with them. That would be a little something called free will. We aren't all robots and thank god.

  10. profile image0
    Starmom41posted 6 years ago

    If both individuals are legal-age, you don't need anybody's approval.

  11. Express10 profile image87
    Express10posted 6 years ago

    You do no need anyone's approval to marry as long as you are of legal age. Just be sure that you are ready to commit to one man for life and he is ready to do the same. That said, don't be shocked if your mother throw's temper tantrums or ignores you if you do as you please. I have Asian relatives and I've heard tales of this kind of thing getting really bad. Think about what is most important to you. You are no longer a child and it's your choice as to who you will marry, when, and where.

    Mother did her job in raising you and getting you out into this world. In continuing your life and growth, you must make your own choices. Discuss the fact that you love your mother and you are free to make your own choices and you look forward to continuing to share your life with her. She is probably afraid of losing you as well as losing some measure of control.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)