How does legalized gay marriage "ruin" or affect a heterosexual one?

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  1. JMcFarland profile image70
    JMcFarlandposted 9 years ago

    How does legalized gay marriage "ruin" or affect a heterosexual one?

    One of the most common arguments against gay marriage is that legalizing gay marriage will somehow minimize or ruin heterosexual marriages.  Admittedly, this is one of the stupidest arguments out there, but it is one of the one I hear most often.  I want to know one thing about a heterosexual marriage that will be "ruined" because gay people are allowed to be married.

  2. d.william profile image76
    d.williamposted 9 years ago

    Same sex marriage does not in anyway diminish, or otherwise affect, opposite sex marriages.  Those who say so, do so, strictly at the say so of their respective religions.  If they actually believe it does then that belief is only in their small minds, as it has no bearing on reality.

    1. JMcFarland profile image70
      JMcFarlandposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I tend to agree, but I'm interested in seeing the responses.  Other people's marriages don't affect mine at all.  Christian marriages don't diminish mine.  It's a legal contract.  I'm interested in seeing other responses.

  3. peeples profile image91
    peeplesposted 9 years ago

    Just so I can follow without being the person who doesn't answer and just hits the button I am going to add a this sentence. We all know there is zero way for it to have any impact.

    1. JMcFarland profile image70
      JMcFarlandposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      most of us do.  In my personal experience, it seems like there's a lot of people who TRULY want to believe that it HAS an impact - and a negative one at that.  Thanks for weighing in.

  4. ChristinS profile image38
    ChristinSposted 9 years ago

    I'd say with a 50% divorce rate prior to any gay marriage legalization - marriage had it's problems anyway.  Gay marriage in no way harms heterosexual marriages.

    1. profile image0
      kylesandersonposted 9 years agoin reply to this


  5. profile image0
    Rad Manposted 9 years ago

    Great question because I don't really understand the argument either. How would your marriage ruin my marriage? Unless of course you were about to marry my wife, that would screw up my marriage. But other than that I've got nothing. Crap, the lady above who married her dog's seems to think her marriage would affect my marriage. I don't get that at all.

  6. junkseller profile image81
    junksellerposted 9 years ago

    I think it is kind of like living in a nice neighborhood and one of your neighbors drives an old beat-up jalopy and parks it out front. You can't very well have one of 'those people' living next door. It is embarrassing, reflects badly on you, and lowers your property value.

    Such a view requires two things 1) that you believe in such an imaginary collective place which requires a status-symbol buy-in, and 2) you view same-sex marriage as a beat-up jalopy (i.e. a thing of lower worth). I think the world is clearly full of quite a few people who believe in both of those things.

  7. gmwilliams profile image83
    gmwilliamsposted 9 years ago

    Gay marriage does not "ruin" or affect a heterosexual one.  C'mon now, people! Marriage is marriage regardless of the sexual orientation of the couples.  Love is love regardless of the sexual orientation of the couples.  LGBT people should be allowed to get married pure and simple.  Any form of marriage discrimination is antihumanistic and totally atavistic in its premise.

    The idea that marriage should be ONLY between opposite gender couples is becoming an atavistic idea and premise.  Enlightened people are realizing that marriage is for any consenting and mature adult who want to consummate their love for each other.  Sexual orientation should be a nonissue regarding this.  As long as the couple is in love and respect each other, there should be no reason why they should not get married.

    It is NOT gay marriage that ruins a heterosexual marriage.  Many heterosexual marriages are ruined because of spousal abuse; spouses, particularly husbands, leaving their wives for a younger, fresher, and more beautiful model; one spouse outgrowing and outevolving the other spouse; extramarital affairs, one spouse taking another spouse for granted, and spouses ceasing to be lovers in their marriage.  NEED I say MORE?  Enough said!

  8. aliasis profile image77
    aliasisposted 9 years ago

    Well, it doesn't, obviously. I have yet to hear a legitimate argument against gay marriage. I'm sure most of you have seen this, but I think it deserves as much copy-pasting on the Internet as possible:

    1. It’s Not Natural
    Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
    2. Other People Will Be Gay
    Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
    3. It Will Lead To Other Crazy Behavior
    Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
    4. Marraige Isn’t Open To Change
    Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all. Women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
    5. The Sanctity of Marriage Will Be Broken
    Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour-just-for-fun and Kim Kardashian’s 72-day-highly-profitable marriage would be destroyed.
    6. Marriage Should Produce Children
    Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
    7. Gay Parents = Gay Kids
    Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
    8. It Is Not Supported By Religion
    Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
    9. A Male And Female Role Model Is Required
    Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressively forbid single parents to raise children.
    10. It Will Change the Foundation Of Society
    Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. We could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the downfall economy, or longer life spans.


    1. d.william profile image76
      d.williamposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Your are right this sure depicts the most basic ignorance in our society.  It is truly frightening that there are those who really believe these comments as true.

    2. profile image0
      jonnycomelatelyposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      It’s Not Natural --- and clothes; and circumcision; and genetic modification of a plant's core characteristics.

  9. PoeticFailosophy profile image57
    PoeticFailosophyposted 9 years ago

    I've never come across the argument that it would "ruin" heterosexual marriage, but I have seen the one about it cheapening it, which makes no sense either.  A marriage license is already pretty cheap. wink

    The most common argument I've heard is that it will open a floodgate of other unions, like man and dog, or polygamy.

  10. Say Yes To Life profile image80
    Say Yes To Lifeposted 9 years ago

    It seems to me what's really ruining the heterosexual marriage institution is how the heterosexuals treat it.  If the gays want to take part in the drama, more power to them!

  11. profile image0
    Mklow1posted 9 years ago

    I have never heard the term "ruin" used in this debate, but I have heard the word cheapen. They usually tend to feel this way because (to steal part of a phrase from atheists) "Proponents of Traditional Marriage just believe in one less marriage than you do". So why then is Pro-Traditional Marriage labelled hatemongers for having standards when proponents of same sex marriage, who also has standards, get a free pass?

    I guess to use logic in this situation; if denying someone marriage is denying someone their rights, then shouldn't there be no laws denying marriage because we all deserve that right to marry the person or people we love? If lessening the standard of marriage for one group won't hurt the sanctity of marriage then why not drop all of the standards all together?

    Now, there are those ignorant people that try to use this argument by saying people can marry animals, but we all know this is just not sane logic because an animal cannot give their permission. Only a dumb lawyer would try to use this in a debate.

  12. jlpark profile image82
    jlparkposted 9 years ago

    JMcFarland - I'm not certain you'll get an answer that makes any sense in detailing how a heterosexual marriage is ruined by a gay marriage. Why?? Because:

    A marriage is between two people - or for followers/members of other religions, sects and cultures several people who are not married to another (eg man with many wifes in Islam, some fundamentalist LDS groups etc). So, those involved in the marriage - are not involved in another marriage. Those in larger group marriages - one man many wifes - the wifes do not have another husband but many sister wives.  Therefore regardless of the amount of people in the marriage - it affects no one but those involved.

    If these marriages affect yours (anyone) - then there is/was something SERIOUSLY wrong with your marriage in the first place.  Perhaps a person who had had to hide their homosexuality due to negative social pressure is part of one of these yes, it does affect them, but the marriage was based on falseness anyway...serious flaw.

    Other than that - I can't see any way that my marriage to my wife (finally! We are getting the marriage licence switched from a Civil Union certificate on our Anniversary! So whilst we are a legally CU'd couple, we will now be legally married!) affects anyone but the two of us and our child (due in March).
    Show me how it affects someone else???

    1. jlpark profile image82
      jlparkposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      So, I got married to my wife today - anyone's heterosexual marriage imploded yet???? No? Figured. It only affects me, her and our unborn child (and ok, our families...but in the same way a straight one does!).

  13. moneyfairy profile image61
    moneyfairyposted 9 years ago

    That is so insane???How does anyone else getting married ruin anothers marriage? unless you are steeling someones husband?
    Two people who are truly in love with each other and want to marry shouldn't have any restrictions about being together forever. This is a free country and all people should have freedom of choice not just picture perfect hetero couples but everyone. I am not gay but I believe in freedom of choice for every human. It is also like the judgement on black and white marriages or any interatial couples. Bottom line is that Gay marriage has no effect whatsoever in ruining hetero's marriages.

    1. gmwilliams profile image83
      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Sure DON'T,ain't that the truth. Really, some people have atavistic notions about what marriage should be.There are THOSE people who believe that the TRUE  purpose of marriage is procreation & those who wish not to have children are totally amiss

  14. profile image0
    JThomp42posted 9 years ago

    I agree with you. Gay marriage in no way has any bearing on heterosexual marriages. All marriages have their own dynamics. Good and bad. Marriage is very difficult to make work. It takes much more give than take. Apparently not many are willing to do this as the divorce rate is half of those who marry.

  15. Don Fairchild profile image72
    Don Fairchildposted 9 years ago

    It isn't that we are afraid that you might ruin a heterosexual marriage, because that is not possible.
    NO, the real fear is my son or daughter coming home from school to tell me about how their teacher taught them that being gay is ok these days.  Or worse yet, hearing that your son or daughter has been sexual abused at school or church.
    Would you want an unknown person to influence the teachings of your children?

    Most friends of ours who are gay, are good friends and have no intimidating manners about them.  The fear lies in the small majority of ambitious extremists that want the world to acknowledge their ideals and existence at any cost.

    1. jlpark profile image82
      jlparkposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Re abuse - understood. Education - I do understand that too. But, I wouldn't want to assume my child is gay, or is not, and teach only one side as 'right'. The best way to kill a questioning teen is by telling them they are inherently wrong.

  16. bethperry profile image87
    bethperryposted 9 years ago

    Good question. I don't see how it can ruin or affect any other type of relationship. Whether they agree with gay marriage or not, any straight ppl that blame it for problems or inadequacies in their marriage are, I feel, looking for a scapegoat.

  17. Stewart Vriesinga profile image56
    Stewart Vriesingaposted 9 years ago

    I suppose it could affect a heterosexual marriage in the following way:  Suppose the son of a heterosexual couple informs his parents that he is gay and is planning on getting married to his partner. The mother says she loves him regardless of his sexual orientation, and supports him in this. The bigoted father, who cannot imagine how to explain this to his friends and church congregation, is completely opposed. The issue ends up dividing the gay man's heterosexual parents, and the mother, feeling empowered after fighting for the rights of her son and his partner, ends up divorcing her bigoted husband. That's plausible isn't it? And overall a good thing I think.

  18. tamarawilhite profile image87
    tamarawilhiteposted 6 years ago

    The legalization is coupled with government's higher classification of the class (homosexuals).

    If a homosexual doesn't want to make something for a church, civil rights commissions have said they can refuse the project out of protections for their political viewpoint - but if an individual says they don't want to do something supporting a same sex marriage, that's illegal discrimination, you have to provide the service.

    End result - viewpoint discrimination against conservatives


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