How do you have a fair, constructive fight?

1. 68

   meganlsmith3posted 12 years ago

   How do you have a fair, constructive fight?
   
   All relationships have arguements, but what is the worst, most hurtful or unfair, thing you should never do in a fight with your significant other?

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2. 64

   jeyaramdposted 12 years ago

   Constructive is the key term here. Be aware of your language and your mannerisms when you argue. When you raise you voice; you create tension in the argument. Its important that you are calm and collected when you argue. Do not be overcome by your emotions.
   
   It is important to state your point from the perspective of "I" ~ as in how you are feeling. Be consciously aware of yourself. Do not blame and by using the word "you" or by pointing a finger.
   
   The most important thing is that you want the other person to be aware of how you felt. That is more important that making them know how upset you are at them. That defeats the purpose.
   
   We want to avoid directly confronting the other individual in the argument. As he/she may take a defensive stand.
   
   The situation can be further propagated when we use foul language and a demeaning tone. Such arguments are not constructive. Thank you for your question.

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3. 36

   LORD ENKIposted 12 years ago

   Fight or Argument? Since your question is fight I would have to say by having a set of rules which both fighters understand have them overseen by an unbias 3rd. party such as a referee!

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4. 58

   zzronposted 12 years ago

   
   
   I believe it all depends on what the fight or argument is all about to begin with. There is no such thing as fair. You are using the wrong word. What is appropriate is that the truth be told, and discovered. Then develop a solution to solve the problem. When the guilty one, or one who is wrong should apologize and do whatever they can do to make the situation right. Fight  over, everyone wins.

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5. 57

   Vladi Dorfmanposted 12 years ago

   I think the most important things are:
   1) Don't raise your voice (to shout, scream, whatever)
   2) Don't use sarcasm
   3) Listen

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6. 74

   advisor4qbposted 12 years ago

   I think it is unfair in an argument when the stronger personality takes over the talking and will not let the other party have a say.  It is important that both sides get to air their grievances, and that can't happen if one person is a conversation monopolizer or raises their voice so that they can't hear the other person.

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7. 60

   smzclarkposted 12 years ago

   never forget that you still love them.
   
   although you may not like what they are doing, how they are behaving, how they are making you feel or what they are saying. try to remember how you felt before it began and how you will feel once the fighting has ended.

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