How do you control your anger, specially in a relationship?
I've been an angry type of person since I can remember but I went to an anger school and I learnt how to control it. The problem is that I was never in a relationship while I was going to this School and since I've started close relationships I seem to get angry more and take it out on my other half. As you can imagine, this has caused a lot of troubles. I love the women I am with at the moment and she is sweet and innocent. Any help please and thank you. I understand there are other questions like this but anger is unique. You've got to have your own story and telling first to get help.
well.. i think as long as you respect her.. there should be no reason to by angry. You need to find the cause of your anger... the real cause. and act to change it. Try not to discharge your anger on her... unless she is really the cause of it. One thing women hate is having to put up with a bad temper when it has nothing to do with us. Respect her.. love her.. and care for her, Anger is weakness. When you allow yourself to be agry.. you automatically lose control of the situation. This is coming from someone who knows. Trust me. I suffer from anxiety.. so my nervous system is a bit off the charts... but with time I learnt that when I keep my nervous system under control.. I am able to solve things more effectively and I won't risk hurting people around me with my temper! I hope you succeed and are able to enjoy the lovely relationship you have!
Did you get physically violent with her? That is what I am most concern about. It is like I always say, we all have a good side and a dark side, but good people knows to compress and control their dark side. If you are having so much problem controlling this dark side of your's, you might need to seek professional help e.g. a psychologist. Also pick up exercise, I know a lot of athletic, got into sports, due to their originally ill temper, they take that temper and put it into something constructive and as time went by, they became really good and start competing on a professional level. But, whatever you do, don't get physically violent with her. There are no justifiable excuse to hit a person, unless it is self defense and even then, it can be circumstancial base. Plus, physical assault law, ain't a joke
@Juiwei2000 I do not get physically violent. Since you have raised the point of being sporty, I never got happy when I was out running every day, but over the winter months I have become very argumentative. This could be a conclusion, thanks.
I remember who I'm talking to. He does try to anger me as the selfcentered prick I adore, but he rarely, if ever, pushes me to the limit of anger and only barely aggitates me. Since he isn't who I should be angry at, I focus on him. He shouldn't have to put up with me being angry or upset.
Normally I jump on the treadmill, go for a bike ride, or watch a dark movie to set me straight. It's easy to do and I just tell him I'm upset and for him to play his video games for the night or watch a movie with me to calm me down.
I try to follow the golden rule.I do get disappointed or offended at times but I don't sit on it trying to plot revenge or get passionate about it. I give a lot of leeway when it comes to altercations or misunderstandings in a relationship.I am always a peacemaker by nature( i hope so).the way i diffuse anger directed to me is that i make it a point to stay low.Let him /her win.After all , there is never a solution if you retaliate. Eventually, the other party will give up because how can he fight with someone who does not want to fight? Be the example that you want the other person to be. if ever i have misunderstandings with anybody ,I make sure that I am the one to pick up the phone or write an email or send a text first.that usually settles the misunderstandings right there.
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