controlling your anger

1. 71

   earnestshubposted 14 years ago

   I agree with that! I seldom get very angry, my psych training takes me straight to my fear fortunately or unfortunatly depending on if I have the guts to stay with the fear.
   
   When I confront whatever it is (usually something I don't want to know about myself) it really is like holding up a mirror. I am what I am afraid of!
   I also know when I learn something personal and grow from it.
   It ALWAYS hurts my feelings!

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   1. 66

      ceciliabeltranposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      me too. If I'm reacting, I always ask myself. What about this person is me? Then I see it. And then I own up to it and then I stop feeling angry.

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   2. 60

      faisal alkhalefiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      اذا غضبت اذهب بعيد واجلس
      
      
      If you get angry at a distance and go sit down

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2. 58

   Martha Castilloposted 14 years ago

   The old count to ten and inhale deep and exhale really seems to work.  Rememer that there is much better communication when you speak in a softer voice.  The old it's not what you say it is how you say it is very true still today. 
   
   Fingerpointing and blame are not necessary.  Just stick to the subject and find solution.  This really saves a lot of heated dialoge about how you got there in the first place.
   
   Oh, before I forget they say that the person that needs love the most deserves it the least.  We all deserve love but I know you get it. 
   
   Wayne Dyer the author says that forgiveness it the scent that the rose gives when you step on it.

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3. 60

   annmeadowsposted 14 years ago

   I used to let it rip. Now, I usually remove myself from the situation before things get out of hand. If I can't, I let it rip, again. Feels good at the time doesn't it?

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4. 60

   Sunny_Sposted 14 years ago

   Join a Gym and beat the hell out of the punch bag and maybe lift some weight.

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5. 38

   pharuk temmy tposted 13 years ago

   For every person there is always this animal in us, someone or something brings out. You have to sit down and fatum the reason why you get angry. I can tell you why you get angry is the fear of what has happened to you in the past which you don't want it to repeat itself again because it hurts. What you have to do is believe it will not happen again and forget the past.

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6. 54

   SanXuaryposted 13 years ago

   Sometimes there are good reasons to be angry but never violent. Anger can actually be a great motivator and in this World you sometimes need that motivation. Remembering what made me angry keeps me from making the same mistake or from being the fool again. Not getting angry but explaining how you feel about something first allows you to determine if you should be angry or not in the first place. Being angry at others because you our angry is never acceptable and is a lack of control. Being angry with the problem helps you to determine the solution. If I was more angry I would have not allowed so much crap to slide past me in my life time. Still we all just need a break sometimes and little time to ourselves. Yes anger has destroyed many people but anger and hate is a whole different thing.

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7. 75

   realtalk247posted 12 years ago

   When I get upset I turn ultra cool. The other party often has no idea they are in danger -lol / just kidding.  I do however become extremely calm and my words are few.  I'll say phrases like: "Oh, okay. I see. Interesting."  Conflict management for me requires me not to speak in the heat of the moment because my knick name as a kid was "smart mouth" and I can bring it when upset so I take the first steps.
   (1) Become slow to speak.
   (2) Calm down.
   (3) Ask very simple questions.
   (4) If I'm really upset - I limit conversation so I wait, calm down, and address the situation at a later time.
   (5) When approaching a situation I use "I" language which expresses my feelings rather than accusing others which results in a defensive response.
   (6) I evaluate the response for truth and understanding and decide how I will deal with that person as well.

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