How do you forgive a person for hurts that cut so deep they changed who you are?

Jump to Last Post 1-8 of 8 discussions (8 posts)
  1. kkuma01 profile image60
    kkuma01posted 7 years ago

    How do you forgive a person for hurts that cut so deep they changed who you are?

  2. Bella Nina profile image73
    Bella Ninaposted 7 years ago

    Forgiveness is so much more about YOU than it is about the person that hurt you.  You forgive because if you do not, the quality of YOUR life is affected in a negative way.

    Forgive, and move on.  No one says you have to forget.  No one says that merely forgiving will provide all healing.  Healing comes after forgiveness, and with time.

    The distance of time is a great healer.

  3. kkuma01 profile image60
    kkuma01posted 7 years ago

    A Bella Nina great answer. Forgiveness is about the person doing the forgiveness, but I think sometimes people need real "Do" behaviors to know HOW to forgive. I've watched a friend morph into someone else because of not know how to forgive. The person is no longer in her life, but she sure is punishing everyone else that enters it. She just no longer trusts anyone.
    Time heals nothing. It's what you do with it. I just want to be able to give her "Do" things. I told her to start with writing a letter. She hasn't yet. Thanks for your response!!!

  4. profile image0
    kate-olsonposted 7 years ago

    Forgiveness is a process. I struggle with forgiveness too. I've learned that it doesn't happen overnight, especially with deep or long hurts.

  5. profile image0
    Poetic Foolposted 7 years ago

    These are all great answers.  To forgive doesn't mean to forget.  I don't know if it is possible to forget hurts so deep as you ask about.  Forgiveness is an act of will and a process not a single event at a single point in time.  Forgiveness is an ongoing thing.  Even though I understand this, I still struggle like most of us to forgive.  I have been cut so deep to be changed like you say.  And speaking honestly, I don't yet know if I will be able to forgive the person who wronged me.  I hope I can some day.  I wish the same for you.

  6. JBBlack profile image61
    JBBlackposted 7 years ago

    I think about the quote from A. Pope--To err is human, to forgive divine.  You can look at it in two ways, God will forgive them or if you forgive them you are godlike.  I would like to leave it up to God and never forgive truely evil betrayals or other acts. 

    Some things are too great for forgiveness on our part, which is why we have jail and child protective services.  Sometimes forgiveness is irresponible and self-destructive.

  7. stricktlydating profile image86
    stricktlydatingposted 7 years ago

    I agree with those who commented advising you don't need to forgive someone who's hurt you so bad.  Just realise they are no longer in your life for a very good reason, and be greatful that they are not part of your future.

  8. lburmaster profile image81
    lburmasterposted 7 years ago

    Well, it depends on the situation. I think the major question is as follows. Is what they said true? If the comment or statement is true, they are forgiven as it was my fault, or myself, that is at fault if I do not like what they said. If what they said is false, then they are idiots who should be shunned and ignored.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)