Will you get mad when your husband bought something , a gadget for example ,and

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   pajamazzonposted 13 years ago

   Will you get mad when your husband bought something , a gadget for example ,and hides it from you?
   
   He tells you SAVE SAVE Money but comes home with 5 brand new sneakers. When you caught him red handed ,he lies about this, ( its my officemate's and he let me borrow it) Would you ever tolerate this? Do you have every right to get mad when he purchases something and hides it from you?
   
   

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2. 61

   sen.sush23posted 13 years ago

   Your question really gets much modified by the details. Under normal circumstances I would not be angry. But yes, this may be a bit tough to handle.
   
   But then he probably has been keeping his purchases a secret because he knows he has acted against even his own better judgment and if confronted by you, he would look bad. It is being naughty but not criminal. So, on second thought, I would not get mad.
   
   But I would definitely let him know that by hiding it, he has added insult to injury and please don't do that again!

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3. 59

   duffsmomposted 13 years ago

   I think honesty in an important to the foundation of a marriage, so yes, I would be very angry.  I think I would let him know that if something was that important to him, he needed to come to me, sit down and tell me what it is he wanted to do, and we could work it out.
   
   My husband and I do that.  We try to be frugal then one of us might want something, we sit down and say, I really want to get ____________whatever.  Then if we can't afford it, we both work to put the money away for it. 
   
   I think it is more of a communication problem then a money issue. I hope you guys can work it out.  I know you are angry but temper your anger, you don't want to make him feel like he has to hide more due to your anger.  Be understanding and let him know he needs to come to you with anything. 
   
   Lying in a relationship cannot be tolerated because how do you know when he is telling the truth.

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   ShootersCenterposted 13 years ago

   If he hides something like that, he'll hide or lie about other things too. Honesty is the only way your relationship can last.

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   lburmasterposted 13 years ago

   Well, it depends on how you two keep your money. Do you combine your paychecks and spend that for everyone? Or do you two have separate paychecks? One person pays rent, another affords food, one buys clothes, the other affords trips.
   If you follow the first, yes, it is wrong and completely upsetting. I would take the stuff he bought and bring it back or at least have a long talk with him about money spending and sign us both up for a Dave Ramsey course (I've already taken two of them but I can do it again).
   If the second and you have separate paychecks, no. I wouldn't be bothered in the least. I know that when he needs money or runs out from his own stupidity with money, he will be running back to me for his lunch money. Just like he always does. Then I'll be taking us on vacations and being the one in charge of bringing joy to both of us. Just the way I like it. I love when he depends on me for something. Makes me feel valuable and making someone happy. 
   However, I would be more upset by him hidding something from me than him spending money, this goes for both situations. We would be having another long talk about that as well.

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