What advice would you give to someone who had just came out of the closet?
My friend just texted me telling me he came out as a gay and his parents think he's confused and he should date girls to really figure it out. Although he didn't find the reaction to be bad since they said they accepted him anyways but it was better for him not to tell anyone else. I'm having trouble finding the right words to say to him...
Just tell him to be true to himself and to not let what others say affect him to badly, a couple of my friends are gay and both have had some pretty harsh comments thrown their way. Staying thick skinned and just being you is bound to help. Hope he meets someone great.
All you can do is support him and let him know that who ever he decides to tell that you will be his friend no matter what. It will just take some time for his parents to feel more comfortable with him coming out.
His sexuality hasn't changed him as a person. He needs reassuring that you are still his friend, if you are still his friend.
I have a gay brother aand a bi-sexual brother, they both bug me in the sense of being brothers, but their sexual preferences are their own.
The only thing we have had to discuss is this,
My sex life is private and belongs to me, and so is theirs.
They don't want my details, i don't want theirs.
Apart from that we're still brothers lol
It's not easy to have parents who disagree with your choices and your feelings. More often than not, children and their parents will have completely different viewpoints on how to live because of the times they grew up in, but in the end family is family and that always matters above everything else.
I would tell your friend not to be concerned and keep living as he feels. He should not feel ashamed about being gay. All that should tell his parents is what his feelings are towards other people. It should not change how they think of him and the reasons for why they love him.
He is the same person he was before. He has just now chosen to let everyone know what his sexuality is. I'm not sure what advice you are trying to give him. Was he asking you for advice or just sharing.
shut the door behind you,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.there will be no going back
every step you take, must be in forward motion
I don't fully understand the reason why people become gay, other then knowing it is psychological rather then biological. Explain to him that, there is really nothing wrong about been gay. Explain to him that a person can only be at wrong, when he conduct a behavior that effect another person's freedom and that is still circumstantial base (e.g. if it is a cop arresting a serial killer, then the cop is not at fault, despite his behavior effected the serial killer's freedom) Been gay, doesn't really effect the freedom of others, so there is nothing wrong about it.
Some people felt been gay is wrong, because they believe it is not moral. I am not going to go into a debate about the moral of homosexuality, but personally, I believe whether something is moral or not, really is irrelevant to determine whether a behavior is wrong or not, as lack of moral, do not necessary effect freedom of others, explain that too him also, that is especially if he also feel been gay is not moral and want to be a moral person.
I would encourage him to be patient with others who might be confused about his revelation and be true to himself. I would also encourage him to surround himself with people that can support and accept him unconditionally. Remind him he cannot control the time it takes for someone else (such as his parents) to accept this about him...he can, however, control the amount of patience he bestows on them to come to grips with it.
My friend told her mom that she was gay. Kirbi had a hard time after that because of her mom almost disowning her. For a while at school we knew she has having trouble at home and was living with her sister, we never knew what it was about until Kirbi pulled me and two friends aside. The best thing we could do for her was tell her that she was still our friend and we loved her no matter what. It didn't help her heart and her mother problems, but it helped knowing she had amazing friends who accepted her for being happy.
I would give them the one thing anybody needs who just came out. Acceptance, an open mind, and unconditional love.
All that you can do as a friend is be there and support him as a friend. His parents will come to accept it. It may not be immediatly but they will. He needs friends in his corner who just want him to be happy. If he feels like he can be happy with a man than a woman then that is the way it should be. My advice for him is to just be himself. I know how he feels. I went through the same thing when I came out of the closet. I still to this day have a hard time talking to some of my family because they think that I am in a phase and will marry a woman. I can tell you and him that my boyfriend and I have never been happier and you both will fall in love with someone who makes you both happy. Keep encouraging each other and everything will work out. This will take time like everything else in life. Hang in there!!!! The best of luck to the both of you.
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