How do you spend time with your older mother or father? What do you do together that is special?
Now that your parent(s) have slowed down a little and perhaps your differences have been resolved or forgotten, what do you do to let them know that you care for them and their happiness?
And if you still have a difficult relationship, how do you try to go beyond the difficulties?
I think just spending time with them doing simple things like a walk in the park or going shopping with them or watching movies with them will make them happy.
I spend time with my older mother in many ways; we celebrate birthdays, holidays and family events. My children honor my mother each year by making mothers day cards and spending summer vacation as well. Being old does not mean the end of the world; its a simple process that we must go through.
My mom has thick natural hair. So I like to help her fix it. Make it look nice.
Serve them home cooked meal. Not the fast-food-lane-type food.
Take them to a nearby park. Bring the grandkids along so they can watch them play. Little things like that goes a long way.
I am an older parent with three middle aged daughters. I didn't do so well with my parents. They are both gone now. But here's what enjoy from my adult girls.
1. An ocassional phone call just to see how I'm doing.
2. Allowing me to help them when I can. I just got back from driving my daughter to pick up her care at a service station. Great conversation on the way.
3. Respect and thankfulness for experiences of their childhood, despite the fact that I was far from a perfect parent.
Frequent, simple and short is far better than long and complicated family events that take place only once in a while.
How I wish I still had either of them here so we could spend time together. My father has been gone many years, but we would just sit and talk, mostly about various current events. My mother was with us until a few years ago. She lived in another state, so we spent hours on the phone. When we were together, she enjoyed shopping - nothing special, just walking around and looking at things. I also used to fly her to meet me when I was on business trips, and we enjoyed that time together.
If you still have either or both of your parents, you are truly blessed. Find things they enjoy doing (even if it's sitting together in front of the TV), and share it with them. You will cherish those memories.
My dad is 73 years young and he likes nothing better than sitting down to have a good talk. We talk about everything and nothing all at the same time. My mother died in 2001 and my father was kind of a stranger to me at that time. I was best friends with my mother, but my dad was the provider and he worked all the time to make sure we had what we needed and also what we wanted. We've really gotten closer over the years and I cherish our time together. So, I guess my answer to this question is...everything we do together is special!
My Dad just passed away a week ago at the age of 85. I am thankful that I moved back to their town so I could make sure they were properly cared for in their elderly years.
One of the special things we did together is read books on the Kindle. We both had one but shared the books. It kept his mind active and alert right till the end. When he passed, he had completed 8% of the last book we purchased just a week before. It is a memory I will relish for the rest of my life.
I'm thankful for the legacy he nurtured within me--the love for reading!
I make sure that they spend time with my daughter as well. It's sort of a 3 generations bonding. Sometimes just eating together is time well-spent.
My parents are still young, but my grandma's are just like moms to me.
With mi abuelita, I call her once a week and check on her for an update and how she is. Whenever I visit her, I love talking about books by Jose Rizal, painting and works I've been doing. I love telling her my plans and stories about my friends and my opinions in life. My favorite of all, I love it when we go out and see nature up close, or when we visit some historical place and hear her tell stories about it.
My other grandma loves to shop! So whenever I go out with her, I help her by dressing her up and fixing her makeup. I also love walking with her.
Bonding with them is probably one of the best things to do. I learn a lot from them.
When I was a child, I used to look at my mom & wonder what it would've been like if we could've been girls together & have been friends. When she suffered w/ Alzheimer's, I lived with her. I got to spend time with her & be her girlfriend then. We shopped together, ate together, attended church, went to the hair salon, the dr. I enjoyed talking with her about what was on her mind the most. Even when it didn't make sense, I just liked having her all to myself. (:
Anything that makes you stay with old Mom and Dad is already spending time together. If the "difficult relationship" has something to do with hurts in the past, pains and resentment, then its a thing only you can resolve. You can always choose to be confused or not, and to make things easy and light, why entertain things that deter your relationship with the two most important people in your life? Forget about negativities, focus on beautiful things, lovely thoughts, fun ideas to make you all smile and enjoy times together. There is nothing more rewarding than getting a life than putting what shouldn't be. If it's not of the LORD, it's not for you. :-) Thanks for the thought. This is a lovely question for all of us.
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