Did my new husband marry me for love or convenience?
My husband and I have been married for just a month. We have been together for 4 years total. I have 2 children (24 and 17), he has 2 children (9 and 7). My issue at hand is the fact that I am starting to think that he only married me so he would have someone to help with his children. Their biological mother only gets them 2 days per week, we have them the rest of the time. Now that we are married, my husband travels out of town 3 days per week for work, and when he's in town, he has begun working longer hours. That leaves me, taking care of his children all of the time.
Well I think you should confront him. You dont have to be nasty about it but I would ask him in a nice way. If he hesitates or gets mad then probably
I think you can certainly ask and discuss you concerns. I agree with the other answer- it is important to confront these issues in a nice way. I think though it is important to focus not on what you fear his motives for marrying you could have been but on how you are feeling. Assume he married you because he loves you, wanted a share a home with you and build/join families. You still feel as though he is pursuing what he wants and needs to pursue and you are left caring for both of your families. It sounds like you feel burdened and that your needs and your plans for your life are not being considered. Perhaps it is these types of feelings that you need to discuss. I think your concern has less to do with your husband's motivation to marry you and more about your dissatisfaction with what your life has shaped into once you were married.
Thank you Sue and Cheryl for your answers. I have approached this subject with my husband several times both before and after we were married. He does manual labor, over 4o hours per week, and I work over 40 hours weekly (being on salary stinks), I've told him that I cannot just drop everything at 3PM everyday to make sure his children get picked up from school or the babysitters. Before I moved into his home, he had childcare arrangements (mostly family). Now, it has become my responsibility to pick them up, fix dinner, do homework, get them ready for bed, and so on. He's even texted me at work to tell me, not ask if I am able, to leave and pick the children up, get their uniforms, and have them at a ball game in another town by a certain time. He travels from Wednesday morning until Friday or Saturday night, and refuses to ask the children's mother to get them at all, ever. Yes, I know we are a family, and it's not that I feel burdened, he just never asks and never says thank you for anything I do. When I try to discuss it with him, he gets angry, and says that he shouldn't have to ask, it's an understanding ALWAYS that I will just do it.
dear it is depend on your relationship like if it is fine then you can discuss with your husband i am sure it can help you but in a good way don't argue try to make him understand and tell him about your feelings, your reasons everything
why don't you wok outside after taking care of your all children you can go for a job it can help your thoughts i mean you may busy with other work, if you want to...
and one thing try to make your relationship better make him fall in love with you once more
After reading your last comment, I believe that your husband is a very selfish and unreasonable man. Has any of this come out before you were married?
It's not your place to always be put on the spot, considering that you work full time and before your marriage, he had others helping out with the child care. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to the kids if you start resenting them because you are being forced to take on more than you can handle.
by Jenny Pugh 6 months ago
A happy, fulfilling, and successful marriage is supposed to be lifetime where the couple grow together in loving, understanding and caring for each other. Likewise, ideally, they learn from each other and reciprocate each others needs and simultaneously progress in their pursuit to achieve their...
by Devika Primić 4 years ago
Did you marry for love or for convenience?Marrying for love or not it does make a difference in couple's lives. Some people marry for political reasons or for religion.
by Ultimate Hubber 7 months ago
If you fell in love with someone 20 years elder than you, would you marry them?
by Astralrose 5 years ago
Are there still reasons for women to marry these days?
by Charlu 5 years ago
If you could marry rich and be set for life, or for love and work until you die, which would it be?This one is for men and women since cougars have become so popular. Knowing the statistics on love and marriage and taking a chance, or being set for life even if it didn't work with a prenup, which...
by Jewels2940 3 years ago
I know that getting married young was probably the first sign that marriage was maybe a bad idea, but a marriage isn't going to work when only one person is putting forth an effort to make it work. I was 22 when I got married; I thought that I was happy until my husband quit his job. I understand...
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|