Technically, no I don't think so. However, there is a spiritual or whatever you want to term it, thing about the institution of marriage. I think people today take it too lightly. They see divorce as a break up. I think today people should stop getting married unless they have invested many years starting as friends that naturally progressed. I think there should be some process to go through to evaluate if they have established the sound love that people today don't acknowledge because it is what comes out of friendship...its not a love you can have for anyone else. The feeling people feel now is this spark and this butterfly thing that is fleeting. The minute it isn't as exciting as they started with or there is hardships they bail thinking that they aren't in love. They all need to step back and stop marrying. Today women can support themselves. We all know that back in the day there were no jobs for women and the only way they could support themselves after their fathers and/or brothers passed away was to have married. They married for financial stability back than. I don't think people today understand what marriage is about. I won't marry again, not unless I have found someone that has gone through all the stages from friendship on, that has the same values and morals as I do, who has shown their true colors, who provides me with what a person who loves you should and who isn't dependent on me in any way. Truthfully, maybe I won't marry even than. Its only a piece of paper now.
To me it still has value. It may just be a piece of paper to some but I see it as a proud moment. I am proud to take my husband's name, proud to be his wife, and proud to know that we are a family on all levels. I really don't get the whole part of the feminist movement that encouraged women to never settle down with a husband and have a family. That is the one thing I value most. Do I need a husband to take care of me? Not even a little, but I certainly love every part of being married to my husband. I also get the opportunity to stay home and raise my children instead of handing them off to strangers. I don't have to miss out on their childhood while I am off working.
Marriage historically for women was about gaining some type of financial security in addition to creating a family. There are many women who do very well on their own and it is not unheard of for a single woman to elect to have a child out of wedlock or adopt one.
However I believe both men and women also get married for (sentimental/romantic and traditional) reasons. Not many women want to be known as the 80 year old woman living with cats who never got married and not many men want to be the 80 year old man living in a nursery home with no one coming to visit him. At some point the majority of us men and women will couple up. Whether it leads to a marriage on paper or a marriage in our hearts both couples have the (same expectations) of devotion and loyalty.
Are you supposed to have a reason to marry? It should be because you feel that you and your mate are made for eachother and that you want to spend all your time together. Of course this does not mean that you have to get married! "Marriage" is a term that people use to say that they are together legally. For me, being with someone, spending all my time with him, opening up my home, family, friends, and most of all my "heart" does not mean that I have to have a piece of paper that states that "He" is mine and "I" am his! I believe that when two people want to share their lives together they can do so without a ceremony or legal papers which say that it is official! I can wear his ring as he can wear mine without an eternal bond...but just because we feel so strong about eachother!
Really, marriage means something different to almost everyone. For me, it was the ultimate way to express my love for the man who has been here for me through everything and continues to be my love and my best friend. It signifies my willingness to stick with him as my life's mate and work to stay his best friend and biggest fan. It is also my promise to him that I will nurture our family and be the mate that loves him for him and loves our family for who we are. For some, all of these things can be accomplished without the legal procedures. That is totally fine. The reason I chose the legality of it was not only so that I could take his last name but also because marriage changes the status of a relationship to the people around me. We're not just "girlfriend/boyfriend" anymore and no one sees us as two young people just having fun. Again, for some, this perspective is not very important, and that is totally fine. But the point is, there ARE still reasons for women to marry. Whatever those reasons are actually depends on the woman and her feelings toward her significant other.
I have to disagree that "marriage" is just a legal term. I feel like a lot of people think they have to hide any religious aspect of it in fear of seeming crazy and "fundamentalist". I am marrying my fiance because I love him dearly, respect him, and believe that we make a match that is willing to work through the hard things in life, not just "love". I believe that my life with him will reach a higher potential than one alone (or with anyone else), and that's not because I "need" him to support me. I also believe that HIS life will reach a higher potential for having me as his wife! But those reasons really only cover us being together as a couple. We are MARRYING each other to make it known, not only to the whole world, but also in the sight of God that we vow to commit ourselves to each other permanently and actively seek to raise the potential of our lives together. How we live now is a choice. By marrying we vow to make our relationship and lives sacred and unbreakable. I realize these words have been cheapened as of late, but for those who worship and exalt the Creator, this is not a matter taken lightly.
A few more questions-
Are there still any reasons for children to grow up with a mom and a dad?
Are they still any reasons to be committed to one person for a lifetime?
Are there still any reasons to live for someone other than ourselves?
Is there any reason to build an inheritance for our children or will we leave everything to our pets?
The strength of families represents the strength of a society. As we choose to continue to fracture our commitments, breaking them at will, our society crumbles just a little bit more.
Sometimes in some area we need not to search a reason for doing it. Marriage is a bond between two people that tie them for life long. It completely depends on individual whether one wants to tie in this knot or not. Days or time never matters. Earlier many people did not get marry and this takes place even nowadays.
Marriage means a life time partner, a friend who gives company to you always. A man or woman with whom you feel very comfortable.
Yes there are reasons for women to still marry these days.
First and foremost, is because it is God's plan. The institute of marriage was created and ordained by God. Unfortunately, these days everyone wants to play house. No real committment. Just live together. No work involved. I do not agree with 90abbykorinnelee on one point, Its more than a piece a paper. Marriage is a ministry and hard work.
Second, God's model for family is a husband and wife raising children.
Third sex. God only ordains sex in marriage.
Fourth, to share our love. Unfortunately, most don't know what true love consists of. "God so loved the world that he GAVE his only begooten Son" to die for us/our sins, "while we were yet sinners". This is the kind of love he wants us to share in our marriages. Love is about others. Not about self.
Marriage can be a beautiful thing. Hollywood and society makes such a mockery of it these days that no one takes it as serious as they should. Yes, women are more self-sufficient these days, but that shouldn't be the only reason to marry. Its a coming together and working to become "one flesh" as the word proclaims. There is a verse in the bible Philipians 2:3-4 that states, "...but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." If husbands and wives applied this scripture to their marriage what a powerful union it could create.
I'm not saying its easy, cause it isn't. I'm saying that if more effort was given instread of running for divorce at the first sign of trouble, maybe we could bring down those divorce statistics. I agree with 90abbykorinnelee about the spark and the butterfly feelings and once they are gone then its over. If you have ever read the bible you know that love is not about feelings. If that were the case we would all be in trouble cause I know all of us at one time could have cared less about God, yet he still had our back and loved us. Think about it, what about your job. Do you really feel like going to work everyday. If we followed our feelings and only went when we really felt like it, most of us probably wouldn't have a job. Same principle. Do the work in marriage, not just go on feelings.
Sorry didn't mean to write a hub here.
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