That's a big question! Depends on which aspect needs rekindling. If it is intimacy that needs to be rekindled, then there are possible other related factors that need to be addressed. Identifying and working through any conflict would be a good start if underlying issues exist. Then, think of the things that you did while dating and try some of those (but refined). Intentionality is key. Find out (or remember) what the other person likes and then plan the scenario. This advice is really general and each marriage is unique, but take it for what its worth!
Firstly, I would say to analyze the aspects of the marriage that may be causing resentment or a disconnect.
Is it that you feel unappreciated? Do you feel unattractive?
There is usually a source causing the separation in the marriage. Find this source and address it head on. Communication is key, so open up and discuss it with your loved one.
Once this in the rear view mirror, keep doing the little things for each other that you did when you first fell in love.
Unfortunately no (one person) can turn things around in the marriage. Both people have to be unhappy with the way things are. Whenever only one person takes on the new agenda of "revitalizing the marriage" they eventually give up out of frustration. You can't be romantic enough, passionate, or love enough for two. In order to feel appreciated you have to be met half way.
The first step is to have a heart to heart talk. Mention those things you miss or would like to start doing. End it with an open-ended question. "How do you feel about where we are in our marriage?" What are some of your ideas as to how we can recapture that romantic connection again? His or her response will tell you whether or not they are on board for making changes. You may discover they are happy with the way things are. If that turns out to be the case then you will have a tough decision to make. Ask yourself, "If I never ever get .... can I accept it and learn to be happy with what I have?" Only you can decide which dreams to let go and which ones are worth continuing to pursue.
You also have to decide if it's "realistic" to expect your spouse be the person you want them to be. It's nearly impossible to change our (core being). People change when they want to change. It takes a lot of effort to start thinking and behaving differently. Ultimately everyone is looking for someone who will love and accept them as they are. You really need to check your spouse's pulse to see if they are on the same page with you. If they are then it's much easier to make plans together to go after what you both want.
(1) Recreate scenarios in which you were crazy about each other. Start talking about them. Repeat as often as possible to get you laughing with each other again.
(2) Make lists of the good traits you still find in each other. Express love and gratitude for what you see.
(3) Pray for divine help and guidance in rekindling the love. Sometimes amid all the mundane activities of life, you lose your spirituality. That makes it easy to fall out of love. Regain your spirituality, regain your love.
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