Should cheating in relationships ever be forgiven?
If so, is it ever ok to hold cheating over the other person's head in random arguments?
I feel that if a person has to cheat then there not in love with the other so therefore if a person has to cheat I feel it's time to move on. Relationships are also built on trust, I couldn't trust that person no longer so there would be no forgiveness.
You either forgive and rebuild your relationship from the ground up again, or you walk away, start again when you are ready with someone who has never harmed you.
If the relationship is less than a few years old and there are no children, then walk away. It will take honesty and years of hard work to rebuild a solid relationship and it will not be possible for everyone to achieve this. It will be easier to invest years of hard work into a brand new relationship than one that is only 18 months old with a cheater.
Once you have worked through all the issues that led up to the cheating, the details of the cheating and the steps taken to insure that it will not happen again, together with a counsellor - then you will not need to hold the cheating over the other persons head. If you can't imagine this outcome then leave now.
If you feel you need to randomly argue with you partner, then leave now.
to me, never. i don't care what the reason is, i would never even think of forgiving a person.
Everyone is entitled to have their own "deal breakers". Cheating is not an automatic deal breaker for some people. This is especially true when someone buys into the thinking that (their neglect or mistreatment of their mate) played some part in causing their mate to either seek out comfort with another or be "receptive" to the charms and kindness of another. If one person treats you like crap and another person practially worships you it would be somewhat understandable why there might be some temptation. However the majority of cheating is nothing more than a cowardly or selfish act of taking advantage of an opportunity that presented itself. It takes courage to end a relationship prior to setting your sights on another person. Most cheaters seek to hold onto what is good in their primary relationship while addressing their other needs on the side. Very few of them are willing to sacrafice a "known present" for an "unknown future".
If you feel and know in your heart that you have (given your best) to a relationship/marriage and your mate cheated on you....What more could you do differently? Under that scenario I can't imagine giving someone a second chance.
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