There are tonnes of reasons, not that any of them are good reasons.
Just to list a few:
Their partner is good at convincing them they have changed.
The woman believes she has the ability to change the partner.
She has been made to feel she is nothing without him.
She feels afraid not to go back to him, because of threats or other reasons.
Children cry for their Dads and Moms feel terrible.
The woman blames herself for the abuse and if she only hadn't done this or that then she wouldn't have gotten abused.
Some women are taught if you make your bed you lie in it.
The partner gets counseling so the woman thinks they might be better.
She misses him and he doesn't usually abuse her.
She has nowhere else to go.
Some of these are the reasons I went back before I left for good as I have written in my hub. Some of them are reasons I've heard from other women.
I just wrote a hub about this:
The reasons why women return to abusive relationships are complicated and varied.
With limited resources, women's choices are limited.
A lack of money, suitable alternative accommodation and emotional support are often key factors.
In some countries women are lucky to have safe houses which they can access, but in many countries they don’t. Even safe houses are not ideal as some have a limit on the time an abused woman can stay there or there are restrictions (eg a safe house that does not allow male children over the age of 8).
Laws that protect women against domestic violence do not exist in some countries and in some countries where there are laws they are often not enforced properly.
Families and friends are often not supportive and there may be religious or cultural pressures on woman to return to the relationship and try to salvage the marriage. Some even fear the loss of status and respect in the community. (ie If I leave I will no longer be the doctor’s wife/ pastors wife etc)
Fear of the unknown is also a factor that paralyses someone from getting out of the relationship.
It’s a case of “better the devil you know”.
In cases of extreme poverty someone might choose the option of physical or emotional abuse instead of starving, especially when children are involved.
Very often women might try to leave but they are threatened by the abusive partner that they will leave with nothing and that they will not get their children.
Despite these constraints many women do leave abusive relationships, particularly if they have the support of family andfriends, non-profit organisations and a legal system that protects and enforces the rights of abused women.
Women and men can find themselves trapped inside the cycle of domestic violence. Everyone of us know at least one person who is or has been a victim of domestic violence. But when you are on the outside looking in you may often wonder why the victim stays with the abuser or why the victim continuously returns to the abuser. read more
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