Why are young men approaching me instead of men my age?

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  1. inspired2excel profile image59
    inspired2excelposted 12 years ago

    Why are young men approaching me instead of men my age?

    It seems the more I focus on being healthy as I am aging, the more I am being pursued by men a great deal younger than myself. I am not out looking for that attention and have been very private with no relationships since my divorce 7 years ago, yet the young men are unrelenting. They offer wonderful reasons for their interest in me. I laugh it off, for the most part, but am beginning to wonder if I am some how going through some sort of midlife crisis that I have not identified yet. LOL, just kidding. It is odd that men my age seem intimidated. What are your thoughts?

  2. Helena Ricketts profile image93
    Helena Rickettsposted 12 years ago

    I don't know how old you are but I just turned 40 last month.

    Before I remarried (my husband is actually 10 years older than me) I had the same thing.  I don't think I would call it a problem per say, but it is an interesting phenomenon that has been going on for years now according to my single girl friends.

    I personally think it is because as a man grows older, the immaturity and instability of a lot of 20 something women just isn't what they are looking for.  They don't want to be a surrogate father, they want maturity and independence.   Women my age are usually established, financially independent and know what they are looking for out of life.  I think that younger men find those traits attractive.

    As far as men your age feeling intimidated by you, that's a real possibility.  When a woman is all of those things I described above, men can feel like you really don't need them for anything and men need to be needed.  (My husband told me that when we were dating.)  If they don't feel needed then insecurity sets in and that's when they feel intimidated.  It's an odd balance that my husband and I had to reach before we got married so we both felt secure in the relationship.

    At least that's my two cents.  smile

  3. ChristinS profile image38
    ChristinSposted 12 years ago

    Don't be so quick to judge wink.  After my divorce I was pursued by a younger man.  I scoffed at first too initially, but fast forward and I have spent nearly 7 of the happiest years of my life with a man who is almost 10 years younger than me and he is absolutely wonderful. 

    Age is just a number.  My partner was attracted to me because I was healthy, intelligent, energetic and independent. I didn't have the "drama" that other young women his own age seemed to have.  He wanted someone who was more established and grounded.  It worked well for both of us smile

  4. dashingscorpio profile image81
    dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

    When I was younger I dated older women as well as those my own age. I never let a woman's age determine whether or not I was attracted her. In fact I just saw the actress Raquel Welch, who is approaching (age 72) on CSI Miami this past weekend. It would not shock me if men 20 years her junior were interested in her.
    In all honesty I don't believe men your age are intimidated by you. Quite a few men are attracted to women who are younger than themselves. It's not uncommon to hear of a 50 year old man marrying a 30 year old woman. Dick Van Dyke age 86 recently married a 46 year old and of course 84 year old Hugh Hefner doesn't even date women who are half his age.
    The main quailites most guys look for in a woman is (1)  attractiveness (beauty is in the eye of the beholder). Men don't normally approach women they aren't attracted to. (2)pleasant personality with a (similar sense of humor). She has to be fun or nice to be around. and (3) She enjoys a lot of the same activities he does. Like attracts like in the long run.
    We could care less about her education or income. If she's doing well that's "icing on the cake". On the other hand if she is really smart and successful BUT lacks the three qualities listed previously most men aren't likely to want to spend time with her. Qualities that may make a man a great catch are not the same qualities that make a woman a good catch in a man's eyes. A woman who is a restaurant hostess possessing the three qualities trumps a woman who is PHd, lawyer, or CEO without those qualities.

  5. profile image57
    Whitney Turnerposted 9 years ago

    Probably because the younger men feel they have less to loose. Whereas the older men have experienced rejection a few times and are more hesitant to be rejected again.


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