Marriage or Living Together. Which is the better option?
Many people choose to marry. Some just live together for ever. What is the true difference? Is it better to marry, or just live with your love? Is it better to marry if children come along?
It depends on what you want. Most sensible people want a long lasting relationship. For those that don't, they will opt for instant gratification, and move too fast into a domestic situation, without really knowing who they have aligned their lives with.
Such foolish thinking, although made to look so easy & perfect on sitcoms, often ends in a very bad way because they never took the time to get to know the individual with their eyes fully open.
What I mean by eyes fully open; is that when you are intimately involved prior to really getting to know the other person, you set yourself up for disappointment when life starts testing the person or the relationship.
You will suddenly see a side of that person that you were never aware of because you were assessing them with emotional blinders resulting from premature intimacy in which you gave up too much too soon.
The high level of respect he should have for you will not be there because he didn't earn it; you simply gave everything to him because you didn't love & respect yourself enough to make him earn it the right way.
By moving in with him, you subtly say that you aren't confident that you can keep him otherwise. It is a move of desperation. However, if you really want to know his heart-if he is really all about you & not just himself; hold out. Insist on doing things the right way & he will show you who he really is, & what he's really about-whether it's you, or himself.
Personally, I'd prefer just living together, because then if things don't work out, then you just split up, and don't have to go through the pain of divorce. I used to have a friend whose parents weren't married, and it never bothered him at all, because they were a stable family unit.
JKenny- Wouldn't a break up of any kind cause pain as well? It's not the divorce that causes the pain, it's the people involved. When my first marriage ended, he babysat for me to go to court. He came to my second wedding! We stayed friends.
Etherealenigma -What about those who opt to live together forever? Not instant gratification, but a lasting love.
If one is not married, there is no legal tie. If one dies, the family can come along and contest any wills that are put in place. Even after 25 years, you have no legal rights.
Marriage is a life-style choice. Whatever makes you happy is the road you should take. Life is a personal journey. At the end of the day you are responsible for your own happiness.
I've heard the expression, "Take it for a test drive" used by some to justify living together. The problem is that people are not mechanical and they don't always do or say what you might expect.
For me personally, marriage is a commitment and living together is a workaround excuse for not fully committing.
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