Reversal of roles in relationships, is this a growing trend?
Recently a female acquaintance confessed to falling out with her husband because he did not get back home early to make dinner as she was busy fitting new tiles in the bathroom. My spouse and I share house chores and each person just knows when to lend a hand, but I find this sort of arrangement where traditional roles are reversed intriguing i.e. the man does the cooking etc and the woman does all the DIY and makes the decisions in the house. Is this a growing trend?
I think it is, and often a healthy one. I worked for many years while my wife was in graduate school. Now, she is a professor, and I stay home, write, and do more of the house care. We share responsibility for her aging father.
There are many reasons for this. Some are economic. If a man loses a job, and his wife keeps her job, that can start the transition towards a switch of roles.
I think what matters is that each person lives a fulfilling life where we live our gifts of creativity and service, making the world a better place for someone - family, friends, and the larger society. And when a couple loves each other and each nourishes the other on his or her path, that is what makes a great marriage.
Actually I don't know what's going on or is trendy in current relationships. But I do know that every relationship needs to involve a tad bit of give and take, even if "relations" aren't involved lol. As for those relationships that are a bit more intimate (living together, children, etc) than others I think that it would be amazing if both parties can break up the monotony every now and again with their "responsibilities". Just lets you know that your team is official and regardless of whateverrrr can and will make things happen! Go team DuO! lol CiaO
It likely is a growing trend as we shed our traditional ideas of who does what in a family. However, I would not want to be the sole decision maker, anymore than I want my husband to make all of the decisions. I think family decisions should be a joint process with the key element of compromise if there is a disagreement.
I can't attest to whether or not it's a growing trend since it's really difficult to know what really went on behind closed doors in past generations, but I do believe that the views around "macho" and "feminine" things to do are changing and equalizing a bit. Not long ago my husband and I got into a discussion on this very topic -- as he was washing dishes and tending dinner on the stove, and I was happily assembling our newest purchase from Home Depot. He made a statement that I wholeheartedly agree with -- the only job that is decidedly "woman's work" is carrying and giving birth to babies, and the only "man's work" is planting the seed that makes them. All else is up for grabs by either gender. Obviously, leaving aside discussion of the growing abilities of current science to change even those definites.
In my own home, all I can say is that there are certainly no true gender roles. My husband and I are from different generations, and though his tried to drill the "man of the house" mentality into his head and he was raised in a very patriarchal Russian family, he is completely comfortable with taking on the chores that traditionally have been allotted to women. He is an excellent chef, he can do housework quickly and efficiently, and he's wonderful with the kids. On the flip side, domestic responsibilities are generally not my strong point, though I have the skills and imagination to enable me to make a comfortable enough living for us while also staying home full time. I am the only one who brings in an income, and he's fine with that. We each take on the responsibilities that best play to our strengths, and in that way are also able to compensate for each other's weaknesses.
Though we do not hold to traditional gender roles, there are some basics of love and respect and how they manifest themselves that are probably very traditional. Throughout the ages men have thought and responded one way, and women quite another. We take equal parts in decision-making, though I try to give him the lead and make suggestions to help him reach the conclusion that will best suit our family. That said, my husband is also an assertive natural-born leader, and that's what comes naturally to him; it would not surprise me if this varies drastically from one household to another.
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