This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
jump to last post 1-11 of 11 discussions (11 posts)

If you are insecure is it unrealistic to expect your partner to boost your ego?

  1. brakel2 profile image80
    brakel2posted 6 years ago

    If you are insecure is it unrealistic to expect your partner to boost your ego?

    Some very successful people never get over feelings of insecurity for no explainable reason. Many famous actors and musicians  and others eventually turn to drugs and alcohol to mask their insecurity.

  2. krillco profile image94
    krillcoposted 6 years ago

    When we look to our partner to 'boost our ego' we are, in couple's counseling terms, going to our partner for validation. This produces 'borrowed functioning' which can get very debilitating to a relationship as it develops a negative pattern that becomes exhausting and frustrating. There is a thin line between 'support' and 'propping up'.

  3. Docmo profile image91
    Docmoposted 6 years ago

    Not at all- one of the most potent source of low moods and lack of confidence is a crippling sense of insecurity. Having a partner who is able to recognize this , support growth is vital. Kind words, ego boosts, compliments all need to be offered mutually.

    However one of the big problems on relying on outside sources of confidence boost is that it is a bottomless pit. If one doesn't grow their own sense of self motivation and self confidence even the support of partners will not be enough. We develop a internal 'filter' where we assume our partners supportive statements are just vacuous statements meant to give us a boost and soon they wont have the same impact as they have initially.

    I feel a healthy relationship should be mutually supportive in a way the couple grows in confidence together and can also be independently confident of their abilities.

  4. YUMMommy profile image60
    YUMMommyposted 6 years ago

    I think that it is important to first talk to our spouses about what their insecurity is from the start- weight, lack of money/education, or whatever may be the case.  From there you can help them to come up with ways in which they can work on boosting their self confidence.  Meanwhile, I think it's ok to help boost their  ego a little bit by remembering to over up kind words and compliments.

    I think that we do want to avoid getting into an area where we start to become enablers though.  You don't want to create situation where he/she will constantly look to you for validation.

  5. Dardia profile image74
    Dardiaposted 6 years ago

    Unrealistic? I wouldn't say that in that person's mind that it would be but it is not something that anyone else can do for you. I know this first hand. I was always insecure about everything the majority of my life. In my mind, someone/anyone could help me out of it. In actuality, I had to find it in myself.

    Even the beginning years of my marriage. I married him because I trusted him, yet I couldn't completely "trust" that he wouldn't move on. That I was really lovable. That is where the problem was. I didn't think I was lovable. So, why would he stay with me? After all he was a musician and had women throwing themselves at him all of the time. What was to stop him from breaking down with that kind of temptation?

    I wanted and needed "HIM" to reassure me. Yes, he could say it and at that moment it would mean something but I had to believe it myself. I had to realize that I was lovable and that his commitment to me was because I was lovable. That he did in fact love me. Therefore I was worthy of love.

    So to answer the question it is not unrealistic to want it. It may be unrealistic to expect it. The partner may be unable to supply it. The partner has his/her own issues and this may be one for them. We are all insecure in our own ways, expecting something from someone may be unrealistic because that person may not be able to give it.

  6. wychic profile image86
    wychicposted 6 years ago

    A look at why it's unrealistic to expect your partner to boost your ego if you're feeling insecure, and some of the damage that codependent behaviors can do to a relationship. read more

  7. jellygator profile image93
    jellygatorposted 6 years ago

    Some experts, like John Gray, have said that 80% of our problems come from 20% of our experiences. I tend to think he's right - and insecurity can fall into that category.

    It's not unrealistic for a person to want and sometimes expect their partner to boost their ego, but if they're unhappy if they don't have a steady supply of ego-support from their partner then yes, they're probably being unrealistic and will find more unhappiness. They aren't simply insecure about something. These are people who have low self-esteem, which is not the same thing as being insecure.

    I discovered some interesting information about how many people believe they benefit from using Facebook and social media to boost their egos, but that it often has an opposite effect in the long run. (I wrote about it at http://jellygator.hubpages.com/hub/Surp … elf-Esteem .) I think a similar effect happens in relationships where one person is emotionally needy.

  8. ikechiawazie profile image60
    ikechiawazieposted 6 years ago

    I don't think its unrealistic to expect your partner to boost your ego. However, when low moods and lack of confidence occur, the best person to boost your ego is yourself.

  9. profile image0
    ExoticHippieQueenposted 6 years ago

    We all have insecurities, right? While it's nice if your partner compliments you and makes you feel special, it's not right or fair to expect them to boost your ego.  It's an inside job that some people never get right.

  10. edhan profile image61
    edhanposted 6 years ago

    Being human beings, we are always affected by thoughts and people around us. People tend to give excuses for turning to drugs as temptation lead them toward that direction for escape. It is only your own decision that leads to it. Feeling insecure can just be an excuse as many who took drugs are mainly coming from peer pressure from work or friends. But one thing for sure, it is you who decide your own fate. Others may turn to drugs for challenge or getting some kicks but never think of the consequences.

    It is through communication between husband and wife that can make one realize that ego is nothing as compare with LOVE.

  11. DeanCash profile image59
    DeanCashposted 6 years ago

    No that's wrong, most successful people do know how to control there emotions. I have hub for that, you might like reading it:

    http://deancash.hubpages.com/hub/The-Emotion-Switch

 
working