Do you feel insecure when your partner innocently looks at an attractive lady or

Jump to Last Post 1-35 of 35 discussions (55 posts)
  1. Lady_E profile image76
    Lady_Eposted 12 years ago

    Do you feel insecure when your partner innocently looks at an attractive lady or guy?

    Anyone attractive is bound to attract attention. It’s natural to look for a few seconds and look away.

  2. WD Curry 111 profile image58
    WD Curry 111posted 12 years ago

    Around here . . .  it isn't much of a problem. Who can tell where you are looking? If you practice, you can get away with it every time.

  3. moiponetsoka profile image62
    moiponetsokaposted 12 years ago

    yes i feel like i am not attractive enough and fear that might lose and it will linger in my mind and start comparing myself with the girl he could not stop looking at.

  4. JDove-Miller profile image76
    JDove-Millerposted 12 years ago

    Not at all.  We joke about how he flirts with food service providers in order to get better service and bigger portions.  He comments about women who pass us who have big booties or nice legs.  I either agree or not.  As long as he doesn't follow one home, I'm not worried.

  5. stricktlydating profile image84
    stricktlydatingposted 12 years ago

    No not at all.  He's allowed to look, I don't see any harm in it.  I'm partial to a little 'eye candy' myself.

  6. Disturbia profile image60
    Disturbiaposted 12 years ago

    First off, I don't believe anybody ever "innocently" looks at an attractive anybody else.  If they are looking, it's because they think there is something worth seeing.  And that's perfectly OK with me, because I don't miss a trick when it comes to eye candy.  If I catch my partner looking at an attractive girl, you can bet I probably saw her before he did, and the attractive guy who was with her too.

  7. duffsmom profile image61
    duffsmomposted 12 years ago

    No, it has never bothered me.  I can look at attractive men as well, but it is my husband that I choose to go home with and vice versa.

    1. Ask Ashley profile image69
      Ask Ashleyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Well said!

  8. Ashu Rainen profile image60
    Ashu Rainenposted 12 years ago

    no not at all.....
    cuz its just an opposite sex attraction

    just be positive

    actually in my suggestion you should also join her/him he ll be more comfortable with
    and feel safe with you.

  9. Leaderofmany profile image60
    Leaderofmanyposted 12 years ago

    I don't get jealous that my husband looks at women, which he rarely does. I am very secure in our relationship.

  10. edhan profile image38
    edhanposted 12 years ago


    My wife loves to look at handsome guys while she encourages me to love at beautiful ladies. We are opened about it.

    Looking at attractive guys / ladies are natural. Instead of preventing to see, we encourage each others. There is no harm in it.

    1. profile image0
      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      The eyes are the windows of the soul...please be careful my friend. :0)

  11. profile image0
    BethDWposted 12 years ago

    My partner doesn't really have a wandering eye, so when she does take the time to look at someone I definitely notice...but I don't really dwell on it. We've been together long enough that I trust her completely, and I know she would never be unfaithful.

  12. nightwork4 profile image59
    nightwork4posted 12 years ago

    if anything , i like it. it lets me know she is still alive and thinking.

  13. iwriteforyou profile image58
    iwriteforyouposted 12 years ago

    No I don't. I just remember that physical attraction to a stranger is completely different to what we have as a couple. How does a six pack outweigh years of commitment, support, conversations and shared experiences ?.

    If your partner is happy with you physically and you have  a good quality relationship  I don' think there is anything to worry about.

    1. profile image0
      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Then how do you explain the 60% of married men and women who cheat on their spouses?

  14. Esther Earl profile image57
    Esther Earlposted 12 years ago

    not at all... he sometimes even share to me some things she noticed as well as how pretty or nasty a woman as he've seen it. It's just an appreciation actually like a beautiful flower or a car. What matters is.. you knew who he loves and chooses to spend the rest of his life with.

  15. JSimple profile image60
    JSimpleposted 12 years ago

    No... I am secure with where I stand, in a relationship.  We all look.  just follow the 80/20 rule and you will be ok.

    1. profile image0
      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I am not familiar with the 80/20 rule...please clarify.

  16. Amara783 profile image59
    Amara783posted 12 years ago

    It is perfectly normal for people to look at the opposite sex.  It is better for the relationship if you don't make a big deal about it.  A look is innocent and should be treated as such. You might just learn something about your partner is you are open with the subject.

    1. profile image0
      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      When I was a married man, I noticed attractive women all the time, but I never dwelt on their beauty or thought anything of it.

  17. Sanjida Alam profile image66
    Sanjida Alamposted 12 years ago

    I am a little insecure as I don't find myself that attractive; though my boyfriend has never given me any reason to be so. He is very loyal to me I know, and it is only natural for boys to look at pretty girls. But I've never seen him taking such chances. Even if he did, I think I am capable enough not to judge every little glance. So yeah, it's OK with me as long as he's not cheating in our relationship.

  18. Pamela99 profile image90
    Pamela99posted 12 years ago

    Not at all. My husband has never given me any reason to distrust him and I'm sure he looks at times. He doesn't gawk or make it too obvious. Our relationship is based on trust and a deep friendship also.

  19. dashingclaire profile image68
    dashingclaireposted 12 years ago

    He can look all he wants as long as long as there's no touching.

  20. martin applewhite profile image59
    martin applewhiteposted 12 years ago

    I find it rather hypocritical that the girl can look at this blonde's lovely body and ass,as she is very noticeably undressing her with her eyes,and a filthy good look-over as the photo CLEARLY shows,and wants to prevent a clearly straight ,healthy young man not too admire her,she's not a fat sloath or overweight like atleast 60% of women in that age group,hands off beeatch!
    Pschologist would suggest thatThis is not jealousy,this is a sexually confused young bird.
    Is the bird covering that guys eyes a lesbeing or what,I think  so for show!

    1. Catherine Kane profile image81
      Catherine Kaneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      The one girl isn't even looking at the other one, so I'm not sure what you're going on about here.

      Think you're projecting here....

  21. AbuBackr profile image59
    AbuBackrposted 12 years ago

    yah, i am jealous when my girlfriend look some handsome guy..........

    1. profile image0
      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      At least you're honest. :0)

  22. teethpro profile image54
    teethproposted 12 years ago

    I and my girlfriend often openly talk about it when we see a nice body guy or beautiful and sexy woman. We talk about it as a motivation that we can also get that shape of body. It think it is OK.

  23. cutequotes profile image60
    cutequotesposted 12 years ago

    smile No, it has never bothered me, but the feeling when an attractive lady is near you and your guy is not looking at her and all the attention he has on you makes me feel amazing. But anyway it doesn't bothers me, as you can always find so attractive girls that even I look at them :p

  24. Danieljohnston profile image86
    Danieljohnstonposted 12 years ago

    I would be annoyed if it were a long and lingering look of desire or something.

  25. ackman1465 profile image59
    ackman1465posted 12 years ago

    There's NO WAY to look "innocently" at the hot young babe in the picture attached to this submittal!!!!!......

    1. Catherine Kane profile image81
      Catherine Kaneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      sure there is. look at her as a person, as opposed to a piece of meat

    2. ackman1465 profile image59
      ackman1465posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      OK, Catherine......  I'll give it my best shot....   Mmmmm, not working.....

    3. Catherine Kane profile image81
      Catherine Kaneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I'm sorry ackman- but at least you get style points for trying...

    4. profile image0
      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Catherine: The sexy young thing strutting her stuff in that short black dress doesn't want to be seen as a person...she wants men to notice two luscious legs. She is advertising what she believes is her finest qualities...her finest assets.

    5. Catherine Kane profile image81
      Catherine Kaneposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I get that CJ. My point is that there definitely is a way to look at her innocently.
      If you're at a party, and someone comes around w/ a tray of appetizers, you don't have to ogle them wink

    6. profile image0
      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Catherine: This young sexy thang wants to be seen as a sex object...she would be totally disappointed if she was not noticed. Almost all men suffer from "hungry eye syndrom" and this little philly wants them to feast their eyes on her beautiful bod.

    7. Catherine Kane profile image81
      Catherine Kaneposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      actually when you talk to them, a lot of them want to "look good" or "look hot" but are very upset when it translates to being looked at as a sex object as opposed to beautiful

      US culture's gotten pretty and sexually available all mixed up

    8. profile image0
      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Catherine: When a woman exposes body parts and wears sexy, revealing clothing, she is trying to draw men in through sexual attraction. What is unrealistic, is to think that once she has them focussed on her body, that they must now focus on her mind.

    9. Catherine Kane profile image81
      Catherine Kaneposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      CJ You're not getting it. Girls are taught that dressing sexy means that they're "looking good" for themselves not just that they're trying to attract sex partners, and that dressing modestly is dressing funny or ugly.
      It's not always about sex

    10. profile image0
      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Catherine: I'm sure short skirts, high heels, and thong panties are not meant for one's comfort, but they are meant to get attention using sex as the bait. We are all walking billboards that are advertising something. Women often advertise sexuality.

    11. Catherine Kane profile image81
      Catherine Kaneposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      If you're set on the idea that they're all trying to sexually come on to you, I won't change your mind. Just trying to cue you in to some of the mixed info given to the female side of the group

  26. angied83 profile image68
    angied83posted 12 years ago

    I would deny and say no but I'm just human with some uncontrollable emotions so I would say, yes, it does make me feel insecure sometimes. But I'm learning how to get over it. There will always be more attractive people than me so there's no point in getting insecure or jealous everytime my guy looks at one; it will just turn me into a negative person (which I like to think I'm not). As long as it's just an innocent look of course. ;-)

  27. AM Hanson profile image69
    AM Hansonposted 12 years ago

    i didn't when I had one.  In fact, she would often check out the girls as well smile it was pretty funny, she would scold me a bit if she didn't think the girl was that attractive

  28. am301986 profile image60
    am301986posted 12 years ago

    No, not at all. If you truly loving each other and serious in relationship than insecure feeling never come. On the other hand, seeing an opposite sex is normal and it will not effect a relationship anymore if there is good understanding between them. Be positive, have faith, trust each other and give freedom to each other.

  29. Catherine Kane profile image81
    Catherine Kaneposted 12 years ago

    No. You can admire art without wanting to hang it in your house.

    I would be upset if he ignored me in favor of her. I wouldn't feel insecure though. I know who I am, and that wouldn't be about my worth as a person

    1. profile image0
      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      "You can admire art without wanting to hang it in your house" - classic!!! :0)

      Yeah, who wants to be ignored. That's just downright rude. I even consider cell phone calls and text messaging rude behavior on a date.

  30. networmed profile image57
    networmedposted 12 years ago

    It's not at all, the same for me to her. We even talk about it and make constructive criticism it.

  31. profile image0
    dxnworksposted 11 years ago

    Never.. ever.. a thing of beauty is joy for ever...   smile

    1. profile image0
      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      As they say, "Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone." :0)

  32. profile image0
    CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years ago

    Not really. It's only when they start to drool, that I begin to take note. :0)

  33. ssuussiiee profile image60
    ssuussiieeposted 11 years ago

    YES it does! I'm terribly jealous, and I absolutely hate it.

  34. yoginijoy profile image64
    yoginijoyposted 11 years ago

    I don't mind if he doesn't mind!  I do believe it is natural for beautiful people to turn heads. The danger arises when one's relationship is not receiving the attention it needs, that's when it can fall apart. It takes more than a look to ruin a long term relationship.

  35. Sphinxs Sanctum profile image61
    Sphinxs Sanctumposted 11 years ago

    I think it might partly depend upon the stage that the relationship has reached.  Where the comfort level is, how much trust has been built & the security or insecurity levels of each party.  If I just start dating someone and am trying to enjoy the time I spend with them, I'm not going to be too happy & in fact, would feel disrespected if he was turning his head for another woman.  After 11 yrs of marriage, I still didn't appreciate too long of a look.  For Goodness Sake - be discreet if you must do it!  A man should always make his lady feel like the most beautiful woman on earth & that goes both ways!  Far too much basic respect has been left out of the modern day relationship, in my opinion.  I think that it's the small things like this over time that can erode the connection between two people.  Take care of one another, show the utmost respect for your partner and you're sure to be paired for a very long time.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)