I noticed a post from you 22months ago about a relationship a younger girl was in. I thought I must
Must talk to you..your advice was amazing and so true..but now I am in a situation and I think you may be able to help. Im a mom of 5 30 years old and dating or soemthing a 43 year old southern boy..lol and well I think he has a lot of bs wit him and given the thing going on I wanted your opinion as you have great opionions. I joined this site because of what I read in your reply..to dating an older man with games..i recently met him 5 weeks ago and he has apparently went away for work one week then this weekend went away to see his sis for his bday and oh of course there was the text today
Hi hon... What a tough situation to be in! I read your hub about this man, and although I don't know who you're specifically asking the question to, I'll offer my thoughts and you can take them or leave them.
I suspect you have a pretty good idea of this man's character already. You worry that he's seeing another woman, that there are reasons he wasn't involved in his own daughter's upbringing, and that he's more of a good-time boy than a good man.
You also have a good idea of what another pregnancy means to your household if you decide to keep your baby. You mentioned adopting the baby out, which could bring a lot of criticism and regret from your other family members and you in years to come, but might also be a good choice. It really boils down to your personal beliefs, and what's best for your children, including the not-yet-born one.
If it was me in your shoes, I'd still date him, but I would NOT reveal the pregnancy until I could get one solid piece of identification that would let me file for child support if he decided to disappear after hearing the news. I'd be looking for a driver's license number or a social security number for sure, in addition to his address. One way to do this is when you see his wallet, ask him if you can look through his photos. If he says he has none, ask if you can snoop anyway to see what he's "really" like in a joking manner. I'd memorize the DL number on the spot and give him his wallet back. If this didn't work, I'd dig it out of his pants while he was asleep. If he awakened, I'd fess up to the pregnancy and no matter what he said, I'd hire a detective to dig up that info.
Just as you have to pay the price for making a bad decision, he does too. And you never know, he might step up to the plate and decide to be with you or to make up for the time he missed with his own daughter, but I'd hedge my bets on behalf of the child that needs protection.
Good luck with everything.
Thanks so much for that advice. I have been to his one property, I also have been to his mothers. I know his moms name his sis and Nephew. I think he is an old school southern gentleman for sure..but there is something off. I wrote another post by accident it was supposed to be with this one. I dont even know how this whole things works on the Hub. I just posted it about the whole situation from start to finish with this man. My thing too is should i respond to his text? How can i be cool and casual with out looking pathetic..good adivice on not telling him because he could head out for sure and i wouldnt of even thought of it that way. Either way he is responsible for him/her some way or another? This below is what the situation is..Hello..i guess i feel ashamed in my situation. I feel like i cant turn to anyone in my life with this underlying issue. Here goes if anyone can please give me advice..I met this Man at the Grocery store he is 43 years old in June and not even my normal go for guy..i didnt talk to him right away after we exchanged numbers and became FB friends..but when we did finally go out for drinks with him and a friend..we met and hung out and had a great time..a blast actually. I think i had more fun hanging out with him then i have in 15 years. I am 30 years old and am a mom (single) and have beautiful amazing children. Which is why i regret to say i made a mistake and slept with this man after hanging out and getting to know him. Sadly after we did the deed we did this drunk and stupid! I fault myself every step of the way. I have been with few men and this was some smooth talking man who was like no other i mean i felt like he totally understood me hell he even dedicated stupid song that said pretty much i wanna be in love with you! Which duh i know that was a Relationship Frisbee to see if i would jump for it and i of course dont want that right now..well then after 3 weeks he has to go away for work for a week this was week of easter. I never hear from him for 11 DAYS ON Easter he say Happy Easter i said the same back (via text) then he says hope all is well? ( Well what he doesnt know is it isnt well and i took a pregnancy test and the antibiotics apparently made my bc less effective and the test read postive..and no one else could it be but this guys! Know this is something i have never experienced..i dont know what to do. Since then i texted him twice last week and planned to hang out but ended up at patient first and then justo tired and confused to see him..well then this past Friday i said what are you doing tonight? He says i am going to see my sis for her birthday..hmm well then today he texts Hello Beautiful...i have not responded..i think he is seeing someone out of state and i think the week he claimed he had to work he was actually having her here in our state..i also think that if he really cared as he said he did 3 weeks ago he would of attempted to call or text me more then he did. I even questioned why he never texted me at least once a day to say hi..he claimed he doesnt use his phone like that and he is sorry and know that he realizes its an issue he will call or text daily..he did but the next week soon after that he went away (so he says) i didnt hear a word till Easter. I have not seen him since March the last week of. Now i know im pregnant and i know he wants to see me tonight..do i text him back? Will that lead him on to think he had me under his control whenever he wants me he can text and
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