Am I expecting too much from the guy to take me out on a date?

1. 49

   AlexDean03posted 11 years ago

   Am I expecting too much from the guy to take me out on a date?
   
   I've been seeing a guy (supposedly I'm his girlfriend) for four months and not once has he taken me out to dinner, a movie or anything that might cost a little money or effort. We both work in an industry where we receive free tickets to shows, which is a nice privilege but is it unreasonable to have a guy take me out to do something else that isn't necessarily free every once in a while?
   
   It's been dutch or tit for tat the entire way. I don't mind paying my share if he'd treat me every once in a while. All he'll do is cook for me at his place and pop in a DVD.

   replyreport
2. 80

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   Yes it's unrealistic for this (particular guy). It's not who (he) is or what he is about. When you come to the realization that the person you are with can't or won't give you what you want then you have a decision to make.
   There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in a relationship. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.
   If you reach the conclusion that you can't deal with the status quo then you should probably move on. People change when (they) want to change. Trying to get someone to behave differently usually leads to frustration on our part and resentment on our mate's part. What doesn't work for (you) may be fine for another woman. This is not about "right" or "wrong" but rather about "agree" or "disagree". In order to have a successful relationship (both people) have to want the same things for the relationship!
   Generally speaking there are two reasons why someone in a relationship with you would not give you what you asked for. 1. They don't have it to give. 2. They don't believe you are worth the effort to give it to. Either way if you decide this is a "deal breaker" or something you don't want to do without then he is the wrong guy for you. Best of luck!

   replyreport
3. 77

   realtalk247posted 11 years ago

   It's not unreasonable but the problem is you are allowing him to do nothing for you.  You set the tone in the beginning of the interaction. Now I'm not saying you can't enjoy his company at home but he needs to mix it up.  You have said it's okay when you continue to be there and available for him by giving him your time.  This is a common mistake women make, we like a guy and forget our standards and go for anything in an effort to be around him.  Months into this interaction our frustrations eat away at us and we get angry or have resentment towards the guy when you were the one that (by action) told him interacting in this way was fine. 
   If you are really close to this guy then ask open-ended questions about why you don't go out in public or go to different events. Hope you are not the side chick if all activity is in his house.  You can mention restaurants or events you want to attend and see what his reaction is when you mention such things.

   replyreport
4. 60

   duffsmomposted 11 years ago

   You are not expecting too much unless you expect him to change - that he will not do. Move on before you get hurt.

   replyreport
5. 61

   rachelingram3posted 11 years ago

   If you are already unhappy and only 4 months into your relationship then it sounds to me like it is destined to be like this is the whole way through. It reminds me of a saying 'start as you mean to go on' and he is giving a pretty big hint here at what he intends to be like. I say leave it and move on.

   replyreport