Am I expecting too much from the guy to take me out on a date?
I've been seeing a guy (supposedly I'm his girlfriend) for four months and not once has he taken me out to dinner, a movie or anything that might cost a little money or effort. We both work in an industry where we receive free tickets to shows, which is a nice privilege but is it unreasonable to have a guy take me out to do something else that isn't necessarily free every once in a while?
It's been dutch or tit for tat the entire way. I don't mind paying my share if he'd treat me every once in a while. All he'll do is cook for me at his place and pop in a DVD.
Yes it's unrealistic for this (particular guy). It's not who (he) is or what he is about. When you come to the realization that the person you are with can't or won't give you what you want then you have a decision to make.
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in a relationship. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.
If you reach the conclusion that you can't deal with the status quo then you should probably move on. People change when (they) want to change. Trying to get someone to behave differently usually leads to frustration on our part and resentment on our mate's part. What doesn't work for (you) may be fine for another woman. This is not about "right" or "wrong" but rather about "agree" or "disagree". In order to have a successful relationship (both people) have to want the same things for the relationship!
Generally speaking there are two reasons why someone in a relationship with you would not give you what you asked for. 1. They don't have it to give. 2. They don't believe you are worth the effort to give it to. Either way if you decide this is a "deal breaker" or something you don't want to do without then he is the wrong guy for you. Best of luck!
It's not unreasonable but the problem is you are allowing him to do nothing for you. You set the tone in the beginning of the interaction. Now I'm not saying you can't enjoy his company at home but he needs to mix it up. You have said it's okay when you continue to be there and available for him by giving him your time. This is a common mistake women make, we like a guy and forget our standards and go for anything in an effort to be around him. Months into this interaction our frustrations eat away at us and we get angry or have resentment towards the guy when you were the one that (by action) told him interacting in this way was fine.
If you are really close to this guy then ask open-ended questions about why you don't go out in public or go to different events. Hope you are not the side chick if all activity is in his house. You can mention restaurants or events you want to attend and see what his reaction is when you mention such things.
You are not expecting too much unless you expect him to change - that he will not do. Move on before you get hurt.
If you are already unhappy and only 4 months into your relationship then it sounds to me like it is destined to be like this is the whole way through. It reminds me of a saying 'start as you mean to go on' and he is giving a pretty big hint here at what he intends to be like. I say leave it and move on.
by BobbiRant10 months ago
Do you think doing too much for a guy in a relationship, turns him off?A friend told me that doing too much for a guy, his laundry, cooking, shopping, especially in a new relationship, can turn a guy off. She said...
by Audrey Selig5 years ago
Should young teens date older guys?? For example 14 age girl 18 or over age guy?
by dashingscorpio6 months ago
Ladies; Do you believe there are guys who are "too good looking" for you to date? If so, why?A recent hub was posted where the writer listed reasons why some of her past relationships had not worked out. Among...
by polite1542 years ago
How do I greet my date on our first date, do I shake his hand or give him a peck on the cheek?
by BREBRESAYZ6 years ago
OK so I had a date with this guy who was a no call no show on 2 occasions...the first time heSAYS HE GOT PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE AND TAKIN IN AND WAS LET OUT AT 1:00am.....THE SECOND TIME HE STOOD ME UP HE SAYS THAT...
by tequilarosemama48 years ago
i wanna know what's the weirdest thing you have ever done on a first date. come on lets not be shy.the weirdest thing i have ever done was to lean in to kiss the guy i was on a first date with and ended up lighting my...
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.
HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.