Am I expecting too much from the guy to take me out on a date?

Jump to Last Post 1-5 of 5 discussions (5 posts)
  1. profile image46
    AlexDean03posted 6 years ago

    Am I expecting too much from the guy to take me out on a date?

    I've been seeing a guy (supposedly I'm his girlfriend) for four months and not once has he taken me out to dinner, a movie or anything that might cost a little money or effort. We both work in an industry where we receive free tickets to shows, which is a nice privilege but is it unreasonable to have a guy take me out to do something else that isn't necessarily free every once in a while?

    It's been dutch or tit for tat the entire way. I don't mind paying my share if he'd treat me every once in a while. All he'll do is cook for me at his place and pop in a DVD.

  2. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 6 years ago

    Yes it's unrealistic for this (particular guy). It's not who (he) is or what he is about. When you come to the realization that the person you are with can't or won't give you what you want then you have a decision to make.
    There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in a relationship. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.
    If you reach the conclusion that you can't deal with the status quo then you should probably move on. People change when (they) want to change. Trying to get someone to behave differently usually leads to frustration on our part and resentment on our mate's part. What doesn't work for (you) may be fine for another woman. This is not about "right" or "wrong" but rather about "agree" or "disagree". In order to have a successful relationship (both people) have to want the same things for the relationship!
    Generally speaking there are two reasons why someone in a relationship with you would not give you what you asked for. 1. They don't have it to give. 2. They don't believe you are worth the effort to give it to. Either way if you decide this is a "deal breaker" or something you don't want to do without then he is the wrong guy for you. Best of luck!

  3. realtalk247 profile image73
    realtalk247posted 6 years ago

    It's not unreasonable but the problem is you are allowing him to do nothing for you.  You set the tone in the beginning of the interaction. Now I'm not saying you can't enjoy his company at home but he needs to mix it up.  You have said it's okay when you continue to be there and available for him by giving him your time.  This is a common mistake women make, we like a guy and forget our standards and go for anything in an effort to be around him.  Months into this interaction our frustrations eat away at us and we get angry or have resentment towards the guy when you were the one that (by action) told him interacting in this way was fine. 
    If you are really close to this guy then ask open-ended questions about why you don't go out in public or go to different events. Hope you are not the side chick if all activity is in his house.  You can mention restaurants or events you want to attend and see what his reaction is when you mention such things.

  4. duffsmom profile image59
    duffsmomposted 6 years ago

    You are not expecting too much unless you expect him to change - that he will not do. Move on before you get hurt.

  5. rachelingram3 profile image60
    rachelingram3posted 6 years ago

    If you are already unhappy and only 4 months into your relationship then it sounds to me like it is destined to be like this is the whole way through. It reminds me of a saying 'start as you mean to go on' and he is giving a pretty big hint here at what he intends to be like. I say leave it and move on.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)