What are some gentle ways to reject someone's very persistent advances?

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   Vieenroseposted 12 years ago

   What are some gentle ways to reject someone's very persistent advances?
   
   I'm not talking about harsh slap in the face type of responses.. More alOng the lines of "it's not you.." thought not as cliche. Also, I was close to this person until they started acting aggressive so I do have to be somewhat considerate.

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2. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   No, you don't need to slap a guy but at the same time you have to be firm when you say "No". There is a primary gender difference when it comes to rejection. Women want to be let down easily so many of them try to smile and be "nice" to men when they reject them.  A dead serious/stern face when saying (no) goes a long way in driving the point home.
   Men often see a (kind) rejection as a no (for now) but there is still "hope"! This is especially true if you insist on spending a lot of time with the person. It's unrealistic on your part to believe you can hang out with someone who adores you and have them suddenly "check their feelings". You have to distance yourself from them. When you do tell them you are not interested in them romantically you have to stress that you never will be either!

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   1. 62

      Vieenroseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I guess I have to be firm&unwavering. I was always skeptical that you could no longer be friends but I hoped we could..oh well maybe in time.

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3. 83

   jellygatorposted 12 years ago

   You can still be friends, but as dashingscorpio said, your communication has to be clear!
   
   One thing I have said that works very well is, "I've told you how I feel, and it appears that you don't respect it. Is there a reason why you're disrespecting me?" I act genuinely interested and I wait for them to form an actual answer, sometimes repeating the question and saying, "I'm interested in hearing why you don't take me seriously. What is the reason that my words are being ignored?"
   
   I've never had this approach fail, and I have used it at least ten times, including with a very pushy car salesman.
   
   Best wishes!

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      dashingscorpioposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent response. I'm sure it's never failed! No real friend would want to disrespect you.

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