Why do some men think it is acceptable to abuse a woman or a child?

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   debbiepinkstonposted 11 years ago

   Why do some men think it is acceptable to abuse a woman or a child?

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   GGEniGmaposted 11 years ago

   Probably for the same reason that some women think it's ok to be abused; they literally don't know any better.  It's very sad, and extremely pathetic, but sometimes people just don't get it.  For the one being abusive, it's a power thing; a desire to cover up their shortcomings through use of force.  For the abused, it's this sick thought that they can somehow change the abuser, and by staying with them 'just one more time', they'll finally get through to them.
   
   In the end, it's a lack of concrete, immediate consequences, that gives people the feeling that they can get away with it.  And, in many cases, they do just that.

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   lburmasterposted 11 years ago

   Some men are just brought up in a world where that is acceptable. My ex-roommate used to get drunk and yell at his girlfriend and her child. "I demand respect!" Who on earth would give that foolish drunk respect? Even a 10-year-old knew better than him. However, that is verbal abuse. I've never seen physical abuse that a man considers ok.

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   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   As GGEniGma stated, Why do some women think it's acceptable to stay with an abusive man?
   At the very least you would think she would take her children and leave to protect them from that environment. Most likely the abusive man was abused or witnessed abuse as a child.

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      il Scetticoposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I love your question, and your last sentence.  Typically women will not leave the man for the very reason that there are kids.  Who gets legal custody?  The dad will have the kids sometimes at least.  Women sometimes stay hoping to protect their kids

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   Express10posted 11 years ago

   Perhaps because they know that they aren't able to do the same to men of their own or larger size without painful or deadly consequences. It could be because they saw this in their own families but at some point, a person knows right from wrong whether it's taught to them or they arrive at this conclusion in their own thinking and experience. However, there is no excuse that actually holds water with this young lady.
   
   As for women that choose to stay, this is often due to them fearing homelessness or a lower living standard. It is also common that the man has threatened to track them down to harm or kill them and the children. In these cases as well, I must say these excuses don't hold water, even more so where children are involved. The more children and adults are exposed to this abuse, the more damage is done.

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      More men end up in emergency rooms each year from domestic violence than women. Men may be physically stronger, but women tend to use weapons with malicious intent to mame.

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      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      CJ Sledgehammer, I've also read more men are sent to the ER room from domestic violence as well. Most men are too emabarassed to file charges. I wrote a hub on this subject. http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/ … -Hit-A-Man

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   TrinityCatposted 11 years ago

   Men don't believe it is acceptable. Pigs with a misogynistic attitude, on the other hand, do.

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      wayne92587posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Pig headed Male Chauvinist Pigs, pig headed, Brawny men having, machismo, their heads filled with boiled pig fat, head cheese.

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   Wesman Todd Shawposted 11 years ago

   Why do some women think it is acceptable to abuse a man or a child?

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      debbiepinkstonposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Probably for the same reasons that men abuse women, only in smaller numbers.

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Wrong. In larger numbers. 58% of all child abuse is rendered by biological mothers.

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   rondalouposted 11 years ago

   I think it has a lot to do with the way you were raised; the type of relationship your mother and father had, they way you were treated by your mother and father, and what you learned to be "acceptable".

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   Stickmonkeyposted 11 years ago

   Hurt people,hurt people.
   I hate it,but it is sort of like when dad's boss treats him like crap.
   Comes home and mistreats wife,who spanks son who hurts the dog,who bites the cat.
   Abuse is passed down through the family.

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      debbiepinkstonposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I like how you stated that hurt people hurt people.  Instead of facing our hurt and dealing with it, we hurt whoever is closest.  And the cycle repeats itself.

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   2. 60

      Stickmonkeyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yes,I think it is a generational problem.
      If we look at the pain,and  personal issues that we pass down to our kids is so much bigger than the things that we THINK we pass down.
      We pass down all of our character defects and drama,until we deal it

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10. 53

    wayne92587posted 11 years ago

    a perverted, distorted, exaggerated, sense of manliness; an assumptive attitude that virility, courage, strength, and entitlement to dominate are attributes or concomitants of masculinity.

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11. 85

    InterestCapturedposted 11 years ago

    Why do some men think it is not acceptable to abuse a woman or a child?

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12. 0

    il Scetticoposted 11 years ago

    Aside from the times where it is obviously abuse (beating, forced sex, etc.) how do you define abuse?  Many perpetrators AND victims in an abusive relationship do not even believe it is abuse because they grew up seeing other men doing it (usually their father), or they believe what they are doing/have done is perfectly rational.
    
    Some men think it is acceptable because they believe it is not abuse in the first place, the woman or child deserves it, or any other reason to make the fault not the abuser's own.
    
    Many people believe abuse is only physical, but there is also verbal and emotional abuse, and even sexual abuse without any physical contact!  Abuse in relationships is actually a much more prominent issue than most people realize.  One in every four girls reports to having been in an abusive relationship, yet guys find themselves in abusive relationships almost as often, but report much less frequently.

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       dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Most women's first time being abused is in school. Because they are teens and not living together we don't call it sexual harassment or domestic abuse when a girl is felt up against her will, threatened, or slapped. Most never tell their parents.

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    CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years ago

    Statistically speaking, mothers abuse their children more often than fathers do. The party next in line is the mother's new boyfriend, then step-fathers, followed by biological fathers...way down the line.
    
    Statistically speaking, woman also are far more apt to commit elder abuse and instigate domestic violence, while men are more apt to perpetrate violence toward strangers.
    
    The reasons for abuse should not matter, because it is never acceptable.

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    Ciel Clarkposted 11 years ago

    I don't think most abusers really think it is acceptable.  (I hope).  I am guessing most of them (men or women) justify it somehow until they think it is okay.   
    
    I know a couple who decided together the wife would quit working because they wanted a big family.   The wife gets an allowance for food and house but has to discuss anything else.  (Personal items!  New shoes for the kids!).  I know this is not physical abuse, but it is a creepy abuse of power.

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       CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       It sounds like she agreed to it. And, if she did, how can this be "a creepy abuse of power"?

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       Ciel Clarkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       You are right -- I think my comment wasn't very well written.  I should have said that if I agreed with my husband to have five kids and do all child and home care, and then was given an allowance I would feel like a babysitter, not a partner.

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       CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I think the traditional role of a wife and mother is to do exactly what she is doing...except she gets an allowance. :0)

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    gaganbhatiaposted 11 years ago

    Such an act can be done by only those men who are mentally week............
    When they get suppressed by some other person against whom they cannot take a stand, they take out there anger on physically weaker people, specially their wives & children. Really sad, but it's true..............

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    matama ellieposted 11 years ago

    Because they are cowards.Men who hurt women and children cannot fight against people their own sizes.Consequently, they hurt the weaker people in their domain because it makes them feel better and more superior.
    
    Women who stay in such relationships do not know any better.Many of them think they can change such men with their love.what they do not realize is that the abuse meted out to them is like a drug to those men and they will not stop unless someone stops them.
    The best thing is to stand up to those cowards, give them as good as they mete out (if you can) and then leave.Staying with an abusive partner is like slowly doing something suicidal.

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    1. 52

       msdragonposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       i agree with you. but for me i stayed with him over the fear that if i left he would kill me and my son.and after 7 years of leaving him i am still scared for me and my son. he tramtize both of us. and he still stalks us. but i agree with you

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       matama ellieposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       msdragon, iam sorry to learn of your experience.Have you thought about learning to shoot and martial arts? there is nothing better than giving such a man a beating of his life and teaching him some fear.Try it and see how you like it.

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