What would YOU do if your spouse CONSTANTLY put the needs of his/her siblings before that
of you and your children?
Really it depends...Your spouse assumes that you understand his choices...better to ask him if you do not..
I can only speak for myself and how I brought up my son and how I was brought up..that is when I get married, my new family will always be my first priority.
I emphasized these with my son,
1. that when he gets married, and if there is ever a time that his future wife and I disagree on something..then his obligation as a husband is to stand by her unless his reason tells him otherwise, and
2. that I do not and will never require from him to take my side just because I am his mother because I know that he loves me regardless of whether we agree or disagree and I will always respect his decision and that my love is unconditional
3. that when he gets married..his first duty is as husband, then father, then son...
If you're the same chap asking about the carping wife, this time I'd say the situation is hopeless----divorce. Seriously, these are people who have their priorities mixed up. They may have siblings that have put them through a guilt trip all their lives, or if they're the oldest the parents may have given them such responsibilities that they feel they must continue. Psychotherapy if not divorce.
I am a woman. I have known situations where husbands and wives put their siblings' needs before that of their husbands and/or children. I personally know of such a person! I totally concur that these people have their priorities quite askewed.
I would get a new spouse or give his siblings a one-way ticket to China.
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