How do you find the right partner?

Jump to Last Post 1-6 of 6 discussions (12 posts)
  1. beadreamer247 profile image66
    beadreamer247posted 6 years ago

    How do you find the right partner?

    Which is the best way to seek and find a partner for life, when you are over 40? You don't want to hang out at parties or bars anymore, internet is full of fake and less serious dating. How did you get to know your partner after 40?

  2. mdiggs1234 profile image72
    mdiggs1234posted 6 years ago

    Hi Beaudreamer,  I myself am in this same situation..and dont hang out...My advice is to first analyze yourself. Have my past relationships been healthy?  Am I just lonely or looking for a mate to marry?  If you don't have a full life of your own and don't enjoy being by yourself, you won't find the right mate.  And you definitely can't be looking...You will just meet the right person by chance.  Don't feel that you have to have a mate to be happy and fulfilled.  Most women, like myself would love to meet someone and get married.  Unfortunately, most men don't want to commit because they can get sex so easy without getting married!  lol...   Focus on you, your goals, dreams and doing for others and your mate will come...

    1. beadreamer247 profile image66
      beadreamer247posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      mdiggs1234, thanks for your contribution to this question. Well, it is not that I am desperate or whatsoever, it's more a question out of curiousity to see how others deal with this issue, since things have changed so much.

  3. dashingscorpio profile image87
    dashingscorpioposted 6 years ago

    Actually I had success with online dating. In fact in our day and age it has been stated that 1 in 5 relationships begin online. It's not where you meet it's whom you meet that counts. Fake people and liars are everywhere. It's important to remember (not all dating sites are equal). I just got back from a cruise where I met two married couples that met on eHarmony. Like anything else you hear more about the nightmare stories than you do the successful relationships. Truth be told the majority of relationships we enter into are going to fail no matter how we meet. If they didn't the majority of us would be married to hour (high school sweethearts). I know of happy couples who are too embarassed to admit they met online. Awhile back I wrote a hub offering tips for online dating. … ine-Dating

    However if one has made up their mind they want to remove Internet dating as an option then they might want to do what I call (mate transference). Write down in detail all the traits you want in a mate. Include education, career, hobbies, the type of neighborhood they would live in, gyms they'd work out at, stores they'd shop at, charities they'd donate their time to, and so forth. The next step is to (imagine yourself being him or her) and then ask...If I were him or her would I want to be with me? If the answer is yes then (be there) at all the places you listed your ideal mate would spend time.
    If the answer is no then you need to cultivate or evolve into being the kind of person your ideal mate would be attracted to. Opposites may attract in the short run but like attracts like in the long run.

    1. beadreamer247 profile image66
      beadreamer247posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I have done online dating years ago and met some nice guys, but none of them lasted forever. Nowadays online dating is absolutely a horror and filled with fake guys. Changing myself for someone I "imagine" would be perfect doesn't make sense to me.

  4. lburmaster profile image84
    lburmasterposted 6 years ago

    By stop looking. When you look, you over analyze. When you are just living life, you can find a diamond in the mix of ashes. It's how I found my partner.

    1. beadreamer247 profile image66
      beadreamer247posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I am not deeply looking, but I observed that it has become more difficult nowadays and it is interesting to hear how others found their partners at later age.

    2. lburmaster profile image84
      lburmasterposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Very true. Many individuals I know get married twice, then finally find the perfect partner later into their life.

  5. INGODSHANDS777 profile image60
    INGODSHANDS777posted 6 years ago

    I'm going to tip-toe into this answer, because since 40, I will have divorced twice.  I have learned two very valuable lessons from both.  That I do not allow the lust of the flesh, to lead me into a situation, that I know my spirit is not intune with.  This is why, at this particular time in my life, I am taking a huge step backwards, and examining myself, putting a control on flesh filled desires, and tuning all of it directly towars my Creator, so that whatever happens, from here, until my departure from Earth, will be Spiritual, and not of the flesh.  Look around you, and you will see all of your friends, co-workers, and family being destroyed by flesh, and things that control it.  I'm not sure which God, you pray to, but whichever one it is, I'm sure they all are align with the die to the flesh, and be aligned with the Spirit.  This is the only way to peace.  So, to answer your question, no I haven't found this soulmate, to which I am refering, and if she is out there, I may, or may not find her.  For now, it's not about me/flesh, it's about the peace that I've has glimpses of, and retaining that forever.  Have a yuwakapi/blessed life.  JJay

    1. beadreamer247 profile image66
      beadreamer247posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Ingodshands777, you have a very interesting point of view and I agree with you in many ways. Actually I learned a lot from my past about me, and about what I need in the other one....wrote hubs about it. And I believe in God and his guide....

    2. INGODSHANDS777 profile image60
      INGODSHANDS777posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      The hardest part is in the journey towards total peace, is the dying to one's flesh.  I play the Native American Flute, and when I am playing, my flesh is dead, it is total spirit, although the song's do come from both heart, and spirit.

  6. litsabd profile image69
    litsabdposted 6 years ago

    Online dating , if done properly, can lead to a nice match with someone. From that moment on, it's up to you to take the journey and lead the way you want to live it and handle it. Remember that maybe nothing lasts forever but you can certainly enjoy your ride while it lasts. Who knows? Maybe it will last more than you expect smile


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)