What are the rules when you or you put someone in ..'Friend Zone"?

1. 56

   abbykorinneleeposted 12 years ago

   What are the rules when you or you put someone in ..'Friend Zone"?
   
   What are the rules for friend zone?  Can you get out of the zone?  Why are people in the zone?
   
   

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2. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   When someone says, "Lets be friends first" what they are really saying is "I don't see you as being (the one)!" If they felt a strong attraction or thought you were "hot" they would not risk leaving you on the (open market) by making you a "friend", There is no such thing as being "exclusive friends".
   It's much more likely for your mate/spouse to become your best friend than it is for your best friend to become your mate/spouse. A best friend should invoke the same feelings you'd have towards a sibling!

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   1. 56

      abbykorinneleeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      If someone has put you in what I like to call the Zone (and lucky never to be in) are there boundaries and rules?  I wouldn't assume friends with benefits is friend zone.  As for friends to soulmate, I think it could work but not often

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   2. 59

      tussinposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      friends with benefits is not considered part of the friend-zone.  FZ is all about unmet desires.

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   3. 56

      abbykorinneleeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      That's exactly what I thought!  There is friend's with benefits which to me is a step up from the FZ, but when you add benefits you don't get attached or you stop.  What if both are having sex and both have feelings? To me its dating but they say no

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   4. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      No, a (FWB) would not be considered the same as a platonic friend. When I say "friend" I mean someone you never considered dating let alone have a sexual attraction. If someone is "relationship/dating material" you don't put them in Friend zone.

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   5. 56

      abbykorinneleeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Dashing scorpio, the wierd thing is they both have feelings, they both have sex, one says they are only friends but wants to date in the future and the other is claiming its FZ...its more than FWB and not dating...I wish I had known it existed lol

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   6. 67

      viveresperandoposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I do believe someone can say let's be friends first and it actually does not mean that I don't see you as being the one.  Just saying, well I guess some of us are not the norm. Giggles.

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   7. 56

      abbykorinneleeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      No you are right but its when they actually say I will never see you more than a friend

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3. 59

   tussinposted 12 years ago

   If you get put in the friend-zone, at least try to get something out of it.....like asking to be introduced to his/her cute friends who may want you as something more than friend-zone material.
   
   Otherwise, if you're not particularly interesting in being just friends, then gradually (or suddenly if you prefer) remove that person from your life. 
   
   There is no escape from the friend-zone and it's better to minimize your losses.

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   1. 56

      abbykorinneleeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I luckily haven't been in that zone.  I have a good friend that is and has been for ten years. I was nosy and asked if you at least get benefits and he said no, it would be worth it that way.  I assume that if you are in the zone you don't have sex

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4. 0

   SandCastlesposted 12 years ago

   I've never heard of the 'friend zone' before. I suppose it means just being someone's friend with no romance. I don't see what's wrong with the friend zone. Someone wants to spend time with you and they don't simply want to have sex with you; that's rather refreshing really. I think people have too much sex on the brain anyway and it's a bit creepy. I've read about couples who want to know how to take a friendship with another couple to the next sexual level (gross!); they should join a club then and leave their friends alone. Do people have to always be thinking about how to get 'their beat down'? It's silly and sometimes a bit scary.

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   1. 56

      abbykorinneleeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I talked to two guy friends who have been in ten year friendships w a girl.  They are in love with them, the girl will flirt, they will sit on their lap etc. but no sex and they won't date them.  So if you are okay for a friend why freeze out dating

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   2. 0

      SandCastlesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I wrote a hub about this; there are so many factors to consider.  The person flirting could likely be a game player and they just like the power they have over someone. And those guys seem to want what they can't  have and should move on.

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   3. 56

      abbykorinneleeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Truthfully I am about to put someone in the friend's zone just because its less drama:)  I didn't want to write a hub as theier are several people that I know that are in this situaton.  I thought if I knew the rules and boundaies I could help more

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5. 78

   Li Galoposted 12 years ago

   I've met men that I put in the friend's zone.  The rules are to just be friends... not fwb, nothing more... certainly not "tease" behavior that would lead him on.  Has anyone ever made it out of the zone with me?  Yes, one did.  But, that tends to be the exception.  Why do I put them in the zone?  They aren't a fit for what I'm looking for.  Sexual attraction is nice but if there's no brains there, that's not going to work and vice versa.  If the person doesn't have the brains and sexiness combined, I just am not interested.  Then, they are most definitely placed in the zone while I move on with the hunt.

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   1. 56

      abbykorinneleeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I think that friend zone is okay..but I haven't been there because I can keep things seperate and I don't let myself develop feelings...well except once...but I don't know what that is or was or if we are even still friends. Friend zone is  no sex

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