Can a man get out of the "friend zone"?

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   SoundNFuryposted 12 years ago

   Can a man get out of the "friend zone"?

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   stricktlydatingposted 12 years ago

   What are you doing staying stuck in the friend zone?  Some great tips and advice for men about how to get out of that friend zone. read more

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      SoundNFuryposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, stricktlydating.

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   CJ Sledgehammerposted 12 years ago

   I believe so. {Please note that the remainder of this message is said "Tongue in Cheek" and with a little spite, but just have fun with it}...I know I did. :0)
   
   Remember that nice guys finish last in love, but they are the first ones a woman will call when her car won't start or she needs a shoulder to cry on or wants to save money on mental counseling.
   
   Most women marry for security, status or wealth...not for love, integrity or moral character. Regardless of what they say...this remains true (in most cases).
   
   For reasons unknown to me and to science, most women date and marry neanderthals and then complain that they have been mistreated by their cave man.
   
   Keep in mind that women treat their romantic relationships like a good shampooing: apply, rinse, and repeat. And, then off to their next dismal failure.
   
   In all honesty, the only thing a good man can do to insulate himself from this trajedy and inequity in life, is to develop thick skin and not be every woman's knight in shining armor. Women just don't respect it.
   
   Remember, the average woman loves to anquish over her relationships and without the benefit of serious drama...her life would be less than fulfilling. Besides, if women didn't have the drama, what would they talk about at the water cooler on Monday mornings?
   
   Bottom line gentlemen...if you are there for a woman hoping that she will reciprocate your love and affection - then my prayers are with you. Then again, if you are a man of noble character and you don't give a damn if you turn their heads or get a pat on the head or a scratch behind the ears...then you have my respect and just got their attention, too. :0)

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      SoundNFuryposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, CJ.  I think you have some very good points here.

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      ddaquilaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You are focusing on the wrong type of woman, CJ! There are women out there that will marry for LOVE; not wealth, status etc. TBH I couldn't care less if I lived in a box as long I was with the person I love. It just comes down to who it is.

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      If that's truly how you feel, Deborah, then you are one in a million!!! It just seems that most women seek security, prestige and wealth but gamble on character, integrity and love. The first 3 are requirements, whereas the last 3 are negotiable. :0)

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      Agnes Pennposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Oh, CJ!  It looks like you've been hurt baaad.  Ddaquila is not one in a million.  I second her thoughts.  It also comes down to how much each person wants to sacrifice for love of the other person.

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   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   A person places someone in the "friend zone" because they do not see them as being "the one". There is only one way to get out of the "friend zone" and that is to tell the person what you want. Either they will be open to the idea of exploring a dating relationship or they will not spend as much time with you in order to avoid being uncomfortable.  This will save a person wasted time. As my mother use to say: "If it ain't worth asking for then it's not worth having."
   Michael Bolton probably recorded the all time classic “Friend Zone” song; “How Am I Suppose To Live Without You”. Trust me you do not want to find yourself singing this lyric once your (friend) announces his or her engagement. 
   "How am I suppose to carry on when all I’ve been (living for) is gone….And how can I blame you, when I build my world around the (hope) that one day we’d be so much more than friends.”

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Good stuff, Dashing. I think for the moment I need to avoid all love songs, especially Michael's.

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      dashingscorpioposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      CJ, That's too funny! It's always the heartbreak songs that resonate. :-)

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      SoundNFuryposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your insight, Dashing....I never thought of that song as a "friend zone" song but yeah, now that I see more of the lyrics, it seems best to avoid that one if you're stuck in the "friend zone" with somebody!

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   Relationshipcposted 12 years ago

   My husband was in the 'friend zone' for years with me. In fact, we were friends for about 7 years before we started dating.
   
   He was there for a couple of reasons. First, because he was so unconfident in himeslf and I wasn't attracted to that. He would complain about his girlfriends and girls that he liked, and his lack of confidence had me rolling my eyes more often than not. Second, because he didn't show interest in me at all. He even went so far as to act indifferent towards me when I was kind of interested in him in the beginning.
   
   He got out of the friend zone by showing interest in me and acting confident about his ability to please me as boyfriend. (He had some liquid courage one night and that was all it took.) It literally took one night to change the way I viewed him and we were dating the next week. We've been together ever since.
   
   So yes, a man can get out of the friend zone.

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      It won't work for me because I don't drink. :0)

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      SoundNFuryposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Wow!  That's awesome!  Refreshing to hear a success story

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   ExoticHippieQueenposted 12 years ago

   Funny you should ask...there is a man that I wish that I could be more than a friend with, but I have no sexual attraction to him.  I could fake it, but ultimately, it would break my heart to pretend.  He has all the right stuff from many different perspectives, but for me, once a man goes into the friend zone, he never comes out.  Kind of like a trip to the Twilight Zone. (Cue the theme song).

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      dashingscorpioposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Your answer is refreshing. Too many women are settling for men that "look good on paper" In fact there is a book for women titled "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough" Each of us deserves to be with someone who loves and desires us.

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      There's a disconnect, Dashing, because most women end up hating their relationships. 80% of divorces are instigated by wives and 90% of couples who have been married 10 years say they're not happily married. In romance...women often make poor choices

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      SoundNFuryposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your answer, ExoticHippieQueen.

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   ddaquilaposted 12 years ago

   Definitely. Personally, I think a woman will only stay friends with a man if there are real qualities she admires. And vice versa, of course. So who's to say there's no getting out of the "friend zone" - we choose that for ourselves after all.
   
   My boyfriend and I have been best friends since we were wee toddlers. We went to the same school together, separated after high school and now we're living together and have never been happier. There was no planning, or waiting - things just happened.
   
   I believe that relationships are all about timing. If the timing is right, feelings can spark. It may just happen. And if not, well, that's another story. Bottom line is though, for me, being best friends with your lover is an absolute fairy-tale come true. If you were best friends before becoming lovers, that's probably one of the luckiest things that could happen to any two people. But it can happen.

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      SoundNFuryposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I agree, ddaquila, and that's great to hear your good fortune to be with your best friend

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Ddaquila: Do those "real qualities" that a woman admires in a male friend include...gullibility and long suffering? :0)

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      ddaquilaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Don't get me wrong; You only really get to know someone when you let them in to this extent, and it gets hard, sure - but if it's with the right person, it's worth it.
      CJ:Sometimes it's better to do the all or nothing approach. It can suck otherwise.

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   abbykorinneleeposted 12 years ago

   Not with me lol:)) I guess it depends why he is in the friend zone.  Each situation is unique and different and has different dynamics.

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      SoundNFuryposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, abbykorinnelee.

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   Agnes Pennposted 12 years ago

   Yes.  Guys fall into this category because they don't fight for what they want - or don't know what they want - and fall in the "safe friend zone".
   The moment a guy decides, not so much for a particular girl, but for a way of life, his decisions make sense to him and those who meet him.  And that leaves a better impression on girls, not a "friend zone" impression.

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      SoundNFuryposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your input.  I think you raise an interesting point.

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