Do some people stay in relationships sometimes just to make them feel better abo

1. 78

   Charluposted 11 years ago

   Do some people stay in relationships sometimes just to make them feel better about themselves?
   
   Sometimes I think people stay in relationships, (no matter how destructive) just because they feel validated or better about themselves by being in one, and having someone there.  What do you think?

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2. 74

   algarveviewposted 11 years ago

   Fortunatelly, I've never experienced it myself, but I know someone quite close to me that had such a relationship and I think it's more about thinking there is no alternative, like "well, this is my life and I have to put up with it" or thinking that the alternative is worst or, at least, it is something unknown, which is also scary...

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      Charluposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Unfortunately, I know several people that are in relationships that must feel the same way.  I'm glad you've never experienced it yourself  or me either as far as that goes, (at least I don't think so???

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3. 61

   Tnagariaposted 11 years ago

   Hello
   Very often such people have a deep void for love, its  because they do not love themselves enough, they r constantly looking for love outside through their friends and partner. They do not move out of their relationship because they do not want to feel the void once again.
   Another reason could be that they subconsciously enjoy the company they get from their partner, and the fights and misunderstandings between them make them feel wanted and are a source of entertainment. They do not want to let go off the companion they find in their partner.
   People do not move out of painful relationships because they also because they subconsciously feel good about victimizing the other person, here they play a power game.
   I've written a new hub on why relationships get jacked which will give you all the answers to what role both partners play in attracting each other and making each others lives miserable,check it out.
   http://tnagaria.hubpages.com/hub/Why-is … -messed-up

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      Charluposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Hello Just read your hub which was very insightful into turning things around in reference to the way we think about relationships and why we stay in destructive ones.  Thank you for sharing both your answer and the hub.

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   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   There are numerous reasons why people (choose) to stay in toxic relationships. As you stated some people would rather be in a "bad relationship" than not be in any relationship. This is especially true for those that hate being alone during holidays or hate the thought of "starting over" with someone new.
   There are some people that look at their time in a relationship as an "investment". When things turn ugly they justify staying because, "We've been together for 10 years. I just can't throw that way." I always say, "You can't do anything about your past. Why would you want to throw away your future?" That's like continuing to buy a stock that keeps dropping.
   It's been said "humans are creatures of habit". I suppose if you stay in any situation long enough it evenually becomes your "comfort zone". A lot of people fight (change) of any kind in their lives.

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      Charluposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Oh so true, so true, and jumping out of ones comfort zone is scary when you don't know the outcome will be any better than where you are now.   We are such creatures of habit.

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5. 73

   lburmasterposted 11 years ago

   Yes. It is definately possible. Also consider the stress levels. People feel more secure when there is a special other. With that security blanket gone, they don't know what to do other than feel miserable for themselves and find someone else to latch onto.

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      Charluposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Ahhh the security blanket, good point and a definite factor for so many in relationships.

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   James-wolveposted 11 years ago

   That s just waste of time and energy .One should get out of it and try to adjust to new situation.I know it will hurt  but it is better  than being accessible to the abusiveness.There are many others who are better than them.Our life is worth to be wasted on someone doesnt deserve it.

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   jaydeneposted 11 years ago

   There are many reasons people stay in relationships. We have learned so much about healthy and unhealthy relationships, and this knowledge has led to many divorces.  If a relationship is causing abuse of any kind to the other, it is not worth staying in.  Loving ourselves is always number one, and until we do that we can't learn to love another with our whole heart.  Two people have to really be connected to find enough reasons to stay together in the tough times. Some people stay because they are afraid of the financial consequences or the impact on children. There are many reasons.  If someone else makes you feel better about yourself, it may be time for a check with self.  The facts are that you will survive without the other. The pain we experience, is not easy.   
      I believe people should stay together because they love and respect each other, not because they are afraid to leave.   
   I have written a hub on this in the direction of making a relationship work.
   If this was more of a focus, perhaps there would be less  heartaches

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   1. 78

      Charluposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Your so right Jaydene about loving yourself before being able to love someone else.  I also think if people put as much effort into loving one another or doing nice things instead of ripping each other apart, the relationship would last a lot longer.

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   matama ellieposted 11 years ago

   I know some people who have stayed in such toxic relationships for various reasons which include money, children, fear of being alone, fear of what people would say, ignorance stemming from cultural values etc.
   the sad thing is that such people are miserable and crying on the inside but do not love themselves enough to get out.
   I personally would rather be single and happy than in a relationship and unhappy because i love myself very much.
   what such people need to do is to value themselves and love themselves first, before going to look for love elsewhere.How else will they know how to expect love from others if they do not expect it from themselves?

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      Charluposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I couldn't agree more. Men and women need to be independent of each other and love themselves before perusing a relationship.  How can they expect someone to love them when they really don't even know who they are.  Thanks

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   Klavdija Frahmposted 11 years ago

   Yes they do. But that's just sad. Everybody should love theirselves first and to enjoy their own company and be satisfied with them. Before you don't love yourself and don't know what you want you can't be in relationship (successful one especially). And that's the reason people stay in relationships just to not feel bad and be lonely.

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