When in a relationship, do you feel it is okay to have sexual conversations with

1. 65

   WebIWeaveposted 12 years ago

   When in a relationship, do you feel it is okay to have sexual conversations with other people?
   
   When in a serious relationship - living with the person - do you feel it is okay to have sexual conversations with people other than the one you are in the relationship with?  What about exchanging nude pictures with someone else?  If you do this, do you feel like you are cheating?  If you find out your other half is doing this, do you feel like you are being cheated on?

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2. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   There was a time when cheating had “one definition” which contained (physical sexual contact) with someone other than your significant other assuming you were not in an “open relationship”. Today we have so much technology with email, instant messaging, digital photos, webcams, Skype, along with chats in Facebook and various other websites that make it possible to have “virtual affairs” with anyone around the globe. This has led to the (widening of the definition for cheating). In fact some people consider their mate to be cheating by watching pornography with (no interaction) from a live person.
   
   Most certainly the people that are masturbating in front of their computer webcams, exchanging photos, and erotic chats/emails would argue that since they have never (met) the person and there is (no) actual touching then it’s primarily “fantasy” and not cheating. However if you ask their mates how they feel about it most of them would consider it to be a form of cheating and quite a few would say it’s a “deal breaker” if their mate does not quit.  You have to ask yourself how (you) would feel if you learned (your mate) was secretly engaged in that behavior.
   
   The simplest definition I ever heard for cheating came from Dr. Phil. He said, “If you are saying or doing something that you would (not) do with your spouse/significant other (sitting right next to you) then you are cheating.” Essentially that would also entail flirting and using sexual innuendo. (When you think about it just about every relationship you enter into began with some initial flirting.)
   
   Personally I don’t think it’s “okay” to have (sex chat) outside of a relationship and I would feel hurt if I discovered my wife was engaged in it with another man. If I’m being completely honest I’d probably end the marriage. The key ingredients to “cheating” are deception, secrecy, betrayal, lying directly and by omission.  No one enjoys being made a fool of. One man’s opinion! :-)

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3. 71

   JMcFarlandposted 12 years ago

   i know for me personally, I've been on both sides.  I've been flirty with other people while in a relationship.  while at the time, I didn't see that I was doing something "wrong", the shoe was on the other foot when it was done to me.  I wouldn't consider this type of behavior "cheating" per-se, but it would feel like a mild sort of betrayal - and it would lead me to believe that I wasn't fully meeting my partner's needs if they were looking elsewhere.

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   1. 71

      dashingscorpioposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      It may have nothing to do with meeting your mate's needs unless their need is "variety". You can't be a "new person". I think a large part of watching porn, flirting, and chatting is the thrill of seeing and being with someone (new).

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4. 74

   jaredbangerterposted 12 years ago

   Cheating is doing anything that makes your partner feel cheated, so it depends on your particular relationship.  The best thing to do is ask your partner if they are okay with it.  If not, either end the relationship and find someone else who is or just stop doing it.

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5. 89

   Shanti Perezposted 12 years ago

   No, it is not OK for me, because what I consider a serious relationship is with one person and I have a one-track mind.
   
   If I am committed to my partner, they will know it. If I am not committed, I will tell them. They will know exactly why, either way.
   
   I can be out and about and see an individual who is pleasing to the eye and I will say so, but it isn't sexual. I'm not sure if it's fortunate or unfortunate, but it doesn't seem to bother me that I'm a person who cannot casually flirt. Like I said, I have a one-track mind and my mind can only be set on one person at a time.

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6. 64

   soconfidentposted 12 years ago

   Well when it comes to a sexual conversation, my advice would be to set a boundary this way there is no misunderstanding. As far is the nude pictures go, that's I wouldn't do that at all.

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7. 0

   Deepes Mindposted 12 years ago

   Each individual perspective is like a thumbprint. No two will be exactly the same. That's where you sit down with your significant other and discuss boundaries. That way you will know for sure what is and is not acceptable in your relationship

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