Is it important to know yourself before you start looking for a mate?

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   Claudia Marieposted 12 years ago

   Is it important to know yourself before you start looking for a mate?

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   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   Absolutely! I've been "preaching" this for years! The number one cause for divorce in my opinion is and always has been (selecting) the "wrong mate" for ourselves!
   Too many people let "happenstance" determine the birth of a new relationship. They simply "go with the flow". If you go to the store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead... Whose fault is that? Do you curse the onion for not being an apple? No! You learn to become a "better shopper"! You have to know yourself well enough to know what it is (you) want and need in a mate. Then you must have the self discipline to stick to (your) shopping list.
   Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. There is no escaping this fact. You are responsible for your own happiness! Most recently I published a book on this very subject.
   My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany)
   http://www.amazon.com/Cat-Wont-Bark-Rel … p+epiphany

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      ReneeDC1979posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Haha - great reference apple and onion

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      Claudia Marieposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for you excellent comment. How can you go shopping when you  have not completed your own shopping list. You must know your self first .

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   ReneeDC1979posted 12 years ago

   I would add to what dashingscorpio so eloquently said:
   
   If you don't know yourself first, how can anyone else?  Think about it.  On a first date, if a person asks "What are you looking for?"  Without knowing who you are, your likes and dislikes, behaviors, faults, etc. you cannot come up with a honest list of characteristics that match your idea of the perfect mate.

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      Claudia Marieposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your comment. Your happiness depends on choosing your mate wisely, you can not do that if you do not know yourself.

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   debbiepinkstonposted 12 years ago

   It is extremely important to no ourselves before looking for a mate.  I don't think we ever stop learning about who we are, it's a life long process, but usually by the time a person is 28-30, they have a pretty good idea of what's important to them and where they plan to go in life. 
   
   The other comment I want to make is that "looking" for a mate may not be the best approach.  If we decide we're ready to get married and set out on a hunt for the best candidate, we may miss that wonderful, spontaneous miracle that happens when we aren't "looking".

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      Claudia Marieposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for you comment. Knowing who you are has a lot to do with your back ground and the "soil  you grew in," so to speak.

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   bituinolayquizanoposted 12 years ago

   Yes its important because you can only fully commit yourself to someone if you know youself.If you know youself then it means you know what you want,what you need and what makes you happy.

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      Claudia Marieposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You are so right. Knowing your self is a must! Thank you for your comment.

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