How many times do you have to repeat yourself before it's classed as nagging?

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  1. AussieTreeChange profile image73
    AussieTreeChangeposted 5 years ago

    How many times do you have to repeat yourself before it's classed as nagging?

    Do you get called a "nag" because you keep asking someone to do something over and over?

  2. xanzacow profile image71
    xanzacowposted 5 years ago

    Woman's answer: 1,000
    Man's answer: 2
    I guess it depends on who you ask....

    1. AussieTreeChange profile image73
      AussieTreeChangeposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      that put a smile on my face. smile

    2. Stina Caxe profile image83
      Stina Caxeposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      That is hilarious.

  3. dashingscorpio profile image87
    dashingscorpioposted 5 years ago

    I never keep asking someone to do anything! Unless an individual has a medical hearing problem then most likely they heard you the first or second time you asked! There are basically two reasons why they have not given you what you want.
    1. They don't have it to give.
    2. They don't believe you are worth the effort to give it to.
    At any rate it is at this point where (you) have to decide if not getting what you want is a "deal breaker".
    If it is, get out out!
    If it's not, learn to live without!
    Life is too short to be spending your time trying to fit square pegs into round holes or trying to change water into wine. If you are unhappy in a relationship and (choose) to stay then (YOU) are (choosing) to remain unhappy! You are responsible for your own happiness.
    Sticking around to invest your time and energy into trying to "change" someone generally leads to (frustration) on your part and (resentment) on the part of your mate. You are better off finding someone who (already is) the kind of person you (want) to be with! Ultimately we are all looking for someone who loves and (appreciates) us for who we are.
    There are only two ways to experinece joy and peace of mind in relationships: we either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. The choice is up to you.

    1. AussieTreeChange profile image73
      AussieTreeChangeposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      So very very true!  I agree totally.  Excellent answer.  Thank you so much.

  4. SidKemp profile image92
    SidKempposted 5 years ago

    The Buddha said, "I repeat everything I say three times, because it takes you that many times to really understand it."

    But it's not just about repetition. It's about respect, and not getting nito someone else's face. If I'm paying an employee to deliver specific results, and they don't, then I can ask respectfully until they get it right o a regular basis. If they don't, I can move through an escalation process to termination of employment if necessary. The same does not apply to friends, and certainly not to spouses.

    As we learn respectful listening and communication, we can get what we want while repeating ourselves less and less. To learn more, read my hubs on the 5 Love Languages and the 5 languages of Apology.

    1. AussieTreeChange profile image73
      AussieTreeChangeposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, I certainly will read your other hubs.

    2. SidKemp profile image92
      SidKempposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, AussieTree, for a great question. Keep asking them, over and over, as many times as you like!

  5. lupine profile image71
    lupineposted 5 years ago

    After the 3rd time. If they did it the first or second time, you wouldn't have to repeat yourself. Sometimes we remind others of things they need to do for their own benefit, and they still don't do it. Just let them do it whenever they want and see what happens...it should be less frustrating for you in the long run.

    1. AussieTreeChange profile image73
      AussieTreeChangeposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I am certainly working on that with my 19 year old son.

    2. lupine profile image71
      lupineposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Good Luck! I went through it with my kids too, and I think we are more worried than they are. Just realize, a 19-yr. old, hasn't gained the responsibility/value of doing things on time...until there are consequences. Be patient, he will listen more.

  6. Lisa HW profile image65
    Lisa HWposted 5 years ago

    I'd say that beyond two makes it nagging, although I suppose I'd leave a little room for the possibility that the person didn't hear one of those two times; and allow, maybe, for a third time in some instances.  Then again, sometimes a seemingly automatic or concerned second time can actually be nagging too.

    It may be worth noting that when women make repeated requests/"observations" about something it is often called, "nagging".  When men do it people more often call it "badgering" or "demanding".

  7. jennshealthstore profile image93
    jennshealthstoreposted 5 years ago

    I would say it depends on what it is. If you are asking the person the same question more than a couple of times trying to change their answer to get your way then yes it is nagging. But if you are needing to get an answer to something because their answer is necessary in order to proceed with something or important then I would not really consider it nagging.

  8. stricktlydating profile image84
    stricktlydatingposted 5 years ago

    I agree with most of the other answers, in that any more than 3 times is probably nagging...  But I think it depends on the way you ask for what you want.  Of course you can always sugar-coat it - Ask for what you want with sweetness or kisses and cuddles etc, and you probably wouldn't be classified as a nag then smile

    1. dashingscorpio profile image87
      dashingscorpioposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Very true!

    2. lupine profile image71
      lupineposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      True, if you change the way you are asking the same thing, it may seem like a different question. Sugar-coating is good whenever possible.

  9. Penny G profile image70
    Penny Gposted 4 years ago

    Seems like men think it is if you mention it more than once. We wouldn't do this if they would respond appropriately .

 
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