What is the most important thing/ characteristic you look for in a mate? What is

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  1. NikiDiva profile image61
    NikiDivaposted 11 years ago

    What is the most important thing/ characteristic you look for in a mate? What is a deal breaker?

  2. hi friend profile image60
    hi friendposted 11 years ago

    The importance must be a matter concerned with a person's choice.

    1. NikiDiva profile image61
      NikiDivaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Which is exactly what I'm asking you... Your personal opinion

  3. devisree profile image63
    devisreeposted 11 years ago

    The person should be 100%sincere.Shuold share everything.

  4. GoodLady profile image90
    GoodLadyposted 11 years ago

    I love a sense of humor, admire tolerance and patience.  But my mate is a thunderbolt revelation.  I don't look for anything. 
    There he is - as though he was meant for me, and there is no explanation. 
    It's just the miracle of finding my mate.  That's 'the thing'

    Then through time there are aspects of him that I love and some that get on my nerves (and vice versa), but being mutually intelligent about how precious the love is - that's the most important characteristic.
    Being tolerant because we are all human (and full of faults), is just as important.

    A deal breaker would be to become bored beyond belief with my mate.  But that seems impossible because through love we could find ways to keep charming each other.  The love is permanent and we always knew it - from that first 'thunderstruck' moment.

  5. padmendra profile image50
    padmendraposted 11 years ago

    A person with whom you share your activity and accommodation needs to be friendly and helping. His way of addressing should be good which suits you so that you are in a position to share things with him  openly . If he or she possesses the quality of being a good mate, anyone would love to be friendly with such a person.

    1. NikiDiva profile image61
      NikiDivaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I also feel that the way a person addresses you is important. Respect is a major factor!

  6. Aisha Jilani profile image60
    Aisha Jilaniposted 11 years ago

    Colored eyes is like the first thing that attracts me towards a person, secondly someone athletic and having a good sense of humor, these things are that i always want in my guy.

  7. Emmyboy profile image79
    Emmyboyposted 11 years ago

    Intelligence. I don't joke with that. She just has to be highly intelligent to keep me attracted and interested mentally!

    1. fpherj48 profile image60
      fpherj48posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      As an older (boomer) and experienced woman....I want to commend you on your own intelligence....for your comment.  Also, kudos to a young man who puts this importance ahead of some "other" traits I don't care to mention here.  Bless you!

    2. NikiDiva profile image61
      NikiDivaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yes intelligence is very important and can be a deal breaker!

  8. stanwshura profile image72
    stanwshuraposted 11 years ago

    Happily ever after?  Sorry - gotta cheat and give 3:  compassion, absolute unflinching, well-thought-out and kind *honesty*, patience - and not the placating kind - the kind that comes from understanding another's difficulties and loving him/her just the same, or even all that much more.

    Just keep on walkin'/hit the %$!# road?  Being manipulative, shallow, impatient, dishonest and/or being materially needy or constantly demanding (through word or 'tude) that you "prove your love".

  9. dashingscorpio profile image81
    dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

    There are lots of traits I look for but I suppose the most (important) characteristic and foundation for any type of relationship is HONESTY.
    A "deal breaker" is anything that you feel is the complete opposite of what you want or need in a relationship or marriage. It doesn't mean one person is "right" or the other person is "wrong". It just means you don't agree on something major. Ultimately we are all looking for someone who has the same value system and agrees with us on the major things in life. Opposites may attract in the short-term but it's like that attracts like in the long-term.
    There is no amount of "communication" or "work" that can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want. One man's opinion! :-)

    1. NikiDiva profile image61
      NikiDivaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Great answer!

    2. watergeek profile image94
      watergeekposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Oddly enough, I met a man who is a lot like me in personality, but we live in different worlds. I'm liberal, he's anti-climate change. I've travelled a lot, he hardly has. It's been hard, but we're opening up and the heart link feels wonderful.

  10. mackyi profile image66
    mackyiposted 11 years ago

    Niki,the person has to be trustworthy and honest! These are the most important things to me when choosing a mate. We all have our shortcomings, for example, the person may be lazy, not that smart, and so on. These shortcomings I can certainly live with, but when it comes to dishonesty and untrustworthy, I don't want to touch this person not even with a "Ten Foot Pole".

    1. NikiDiva profile image61
      NikiDivaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      True indeed!!!

  11. ftclick profile image56
    ftclickposted 11 years ago

    a person who does what they say they will do.

    honesty and sharing.

    deal breaker ? breaking a promise and not controlling things in life which are controllable.

    yeah, sounds personal doesn't it.

    1. stanwshura profile image72
      stanwshuraposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      But what is controllable?  I think I get your want of s/he who can accept personal responsibility, but what is reasonable is subjective, and varies to cosmic proportions from one to another.   A CEO can steer the ship.  A clerk can transfer a call.

  12. Brett Winn profile image82
    Brett Winnposted 11 years ago

    He must be: a Christian, be wise and honest and kind, and able to make me laugh. Meanness is a deal breaker.

  13. profile image0
    msorenssonposted 11 years ago

    I don't think there is one particular characteristic. Assuming that there are a number of men or women with equal qualifications on every aspect, real or perceived, one would almost always just choose one.

    We cannot choose whom to love. We just love

    It has got to do with "memory".

    The heart is at the center of it all. It has it's own reasons, not always perceptible to the conscious mind...perhaps I am being overly romantic..

  14. Astra Nomik profile image63
    Astra Nomikposted 11 years ago

    Honesty and a true heart... it's something you feel more than anything else. It makes the loving and the person all the sweeter. I am speaking from experience.

    A deal breaker is simple... if the person puts you first... above everything else... then that settles it for me...

  15. fpherj48 profile image60
    fpherj48posted 11 years ago

    Using past tense here, as in what did I look for.....?    In all honesty, I don't know that I purposely "looked for" (subconciously, this may be true for all of us).....as much as I'm sure about what would have attracted me to a particular man.  Level of intelligence was high on my list with healthy sense of humor, following closely behind.   I also kept my sharp radar out for their regard and respect for "women" in general.
    Since you're very young (by your pic) I would like to pass on to you some of the very best advice, based on YEARS of experience and wisdom.....about something to "look for" in a good man........That he has a very healthy respect for his mother (& sisters if any) and a strong family bond of love.........AND....IMPORTANT....that it goes nowhere near the point of "Mama's Boy."     Watch for that fine line.
    Never date a bona-fide Mama's Boy.
    Deal Breakers?  any sort of harmful addiction (drugs, alcohol, gambling....BAD!)

    1. NikiDiva profile image61
      NikiDivaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Im young but not too young to Where I look for superficial characteristics.  Im 25 :-) and u did list some good points. Thank u for ur response

  16. Tiffany916 profile image61
    Tiffany916posted 11 years ago

    I look for exclusiveness as a major characteristic; someone who only wants to have a monogamous relationship with me.  The deal breaker is when he needs/wants more than one woman or if he is not financially responsible.

  17. tippusunu profile image65
    tippusunuposted 11 years ago

    a person who need our presence in there whole life.
    a person who can take care about us
    I think that includes all

  18. freelance.mc profile image60
    freelance.mcposted 11 years ago

    i look for honesty and characteristics that are encouraging. i look for originality and fun someone who is loyal and has strong friendship values also someone who is supportive and a encouraging critic good friends are hard to find.

  19. Rohan Kulkarni profile image55
    Rohan Kulkarniposted 7 years ago

    She should always look gorgeous and beautiful at the heart also,brains also.i mean a complete women she should be.she should be beautiful and spiritual as well.

  20. gmwilliams profile image84
    gmwilliamsposted 7 years ago


    One must be highly intelligent, educated, & successful socioeconomically & come from an educated, solidly middle, upper middle, or upper class family. One must be kind & progressive, that goes without saying.  Also, one must came from a small to medium size family.

    The deal breaker is the mate putting the family of origin before a spouse & child/children.  Such a person is a liability & has no business being married nor a parent.   Other deal breakers is coming from a poor family.  People who come from poor families although successful have family members who are socioeconomic leeches-freeloaders who expect the former to foot their bills & provide them w/a better lifestyle on the former's dime.   Lastly, would never enter into a relationship w/a person from a large family-again- in such families, there is a tendency to put the family of origin first & of course, in large families, there are socioeconomic leeches who expect financial support.


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