Sexuality - is there really a choice?

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   jlparkposted 11 years ago

   Sexuality - is there really a choice?
   
   Many people - often who have concerns with homosexuality - comment that "it's a choice".
   So, if people are so sure - I'd like to know how they are so sure:
   
   is this a choice you have personally made? To be straight? Because in order for homosexuality to be a choice, heterosexuality must also be a choice. I mean this in the most polite way - I'm curious, please enlighten me. I'll save my thoughts for later.
   PLEASE NOTE: I will not put up with people coming here just to insult people by name-calling, from either side. Understood? Polite, thoughtful conversation only...

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   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   I am a heterosexual and I don't recall flipping a coin or having to make a choice. I was (naturally) attracted to women.

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      jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your answer.

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   Everyday Miraclesposted 11 years ago

   In order to answer this question, one must first define "sexuality." If we're looking at sexuality as a preference for either males or females (same or opposite gender), that means something entirely different than the lifestyle choice that is known as homosexuality or heterosexuality.
   
   I personally don't believe that a person has a choice in whether they are attracted to the same gender, opposite gender, or both. I won't go so far as to say that it's "natural" or that the hand of God is on sexual preference, but I do believe that it is innate, something that provides for cultural needs in a society (modern or primitive).
   
   Sexual *activity,* on the other hand, along with lifestyle, is something that is *chosen* by the person choosing to engage in an alternative lifestyle. I've known straight females who "decide" that they want to engage in a homosexual lifestyle -- their confession, not me putting something on them. I've known gay males who lived with their wives and children for decades because they made the choice to mainstream their lifestyle.
   
   Lifestyle is a choice. Preference is not. That sums up my feelings on it.

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      jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your answer. A question - are you saying that whilst the preference is not a choice, whether to act on it is? Do we take this to mean that if pref is SS then the choice people say is 'wrong' is acting on it? What do you make of this?

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      windygreenposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It is more "wrong" to live in a lie to yourself and to others than to be truthfully who you naturally are.  Like living with a wolf in sheeps clothing - someday you will see the "sheep" naked, and at that moment the wolf will instinctually attack.

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      Everyday Miraclesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I think that is what is *meant* by homosexuality being wrong (acting on it) rather than the actual preference itself being wrong, but if you ask a number of people you're likely to get a number of different answers to the question.

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4. 61

   windygreenposted 11 years ago

   Yes. There is a choice. 
   A homosexual can choose to live their life unhappy, unfullfilled, and unsatisfied to please the masses, stay in the "norm", and not rock boats 
   OR
   they can be true to themselves and to others by pursuing what naturally makes them happy.

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      jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your answer, Windy!

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   chef-de-jourposted 11 years ago

   As far as I can tell sexuality is instinctive and not something subject to choice. A human is either instinctively drawn towards the male or female or both, or not, as in the case of certain asexual humans, who just are not sexual in any way.
   Once the instinct kicks in, then choice might come into play. For example, if I'm a hetero male and I find myself attracted to two girls, let's say twin sisters, I may choose to go out with sister A because she has certain cultural interests that I share and the relationship might go on from there.
   
   Scientists may be able to tell us about the mechanics of sexuality - hormone C is excited by pheromone B which tells the brain to emit chemical XYZ and so on - and that's why young Bill is atttracted to young Ben -but the fundamental feelings are surely natural, and not intentionally brought on through willpower or use of the mind.
   
   A woman I know went through most of her adult life as a hetereosexual, had 4 children with the same man in an orthodox marriage but when she reached the age of 40 fell in love with a younger female! She claims her gay tendencies were hidden by her very busy family life but when her children grew older she started to experience gay maturity! Instinctive, not something she thought up or consciously invited into her lifestyle.

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      jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your insightful answer.

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   inaniLoquenceposted 11 years ago

   In my religion, people are free to choose to be homosexuals. However, it is advisable and homosexuals are urged to live a chaste life. Homosexuals who stay celibate have actually a harder time and the burden is great but it will be worth it once this temporary life is over.

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   1. 76

      jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Granted, that is what you believe - but did YOU personally CHOOSE your sexual preference? Did you think "right, I will be straight, because it is good for God?". Do you recall this decision? Was your sexuality a choice - is what I am asking

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   2. 75

      inaniLoquenceposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I may have erred when I said that it is a choice. Here's what the church says about homosexuality:
      http://www.dignityusa.org/faq.html
      Note this: "as a state beyond a person’s choice"
      And I had leanings toward my own sex but I chose to be straight.

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      jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for clarifying. Each to their own - as long as you are happy. I question choice because religion says so but if people are happy that's all that matters to me - I didn't choose but I wouldn't change it if I could - I hope you feel the same 4 u

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