Women: Is "commitment" about feeling like your partner is going to be with you for the long haul?
Or is it really about having (legal/financial recourse) if things don't work out?
It's often said that men are "afraid" of commitment and yet just about every man does get married. In fact 2 million weddings take place in the U.S. each year usually after a (man) has proposed. It's been reported that (women) initiate 66% of all divorces. I suppose one could say maybe men are afraid of divorce and not commitment.
Is "commitment" about feeling like your partner is going to be with you for the long haul? Definitely.
Note: A lot of people get divorced, not because of abuse issues but because the relationship seemed to 'run its course'. It's like when people get to know each other too well, they long for someone who doesn't know them so they can feel that rush, so they can reinvent themselves with a person who's never seen them belch. Wolves mate for life whereas people seem to have an expiry date. People get bored with each other. They long for green grass on the other side of the fence only to find that it has weeds too.
SandCastles, You made some valid points. I think there are people that marry expecting it to be different from what it turns out to be. If 66% of divorces are initiated by women it appears they are the most unhappy. Choosing the "right mate" is key.
I think romantic comedies can ruin relationships. Women I've talked with become very disheartened because every day they aren't being swept of their feet by their mate. They zoom in on Valentine's day and wait for their guy to screw up.
Commitment means that you are going to work just as much as the other person to have a healthy and functioning relationship; with NO expectations from the other. That includes "the long haul" and "till death do us part". But if you are committed you don't just walk out, you work at the problems before until you can't fix it
Some marriages are a mistake pure and simple! Maybe they were age 18, there's physical abuse, alcohol/drug addiction, spousal rape, secretly gay, or living in a personal hell. I don't believe one has to commit to unhappiness. Life is too short!
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Oh boy...that's all I can say at the moment-have you ever felt the same sort of thing?
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What is considered a long term relationship?
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