Should a person feel guilty about feeling blessed, for not losing a loved one fo

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   IDONOposted 11 years ago

   Should a person feel guilty about feeling blessed, for not losing a loved one for any reason?
   
   For every winner, there is a loser. For every loser, there is a winner. Why do some feel it is wrong to give God credit, but so easy to give God blame? Whatever one believes is their choice and should be respected. But that doesn't make the other one wrong, or ignorant, or insulting. Winners celebrate. Losers mourn. Isn't that simply how things work in life?

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   JThomp42posted 11 years ago

   Yes. Just celebrate your blessings and what God has done for you and your family. Celebrate each day you get to wake up and spend time with your loved ones. Each day is a gift, not a promise.

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      IDONOposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks. I think you know where this question came from. By asking this one, I felt it would give me the chance to check my own thoughts without the argumentative environment. It's hard to be open-minded with people that aren't. Thank You, JT

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      JThomp42posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You are welcome my friend.

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   Lisa HWposted 11 years ago

   No.  Nobody should feel guilty for not being the one to lose a loved one.  However, I don't think the reasoning used in this question "holds much water".  Within the context of this particular issue, life isn't a game or a competition.  Based on the kind of reasoning used here, that would mean that everyone who has ever died is a loser who didn't know how to "play the game" or "beat out the competition".
   
   The point that one person should not feel guilty for not losing someone is a good one.  Ironically, it is the "winners/loses" kind of thinking that makes people have jealousy, envy, and/or resentment toward others who are more fortunate.  "Winners/losers" thinking makes people think there's not room for everyone (ideally) to be fortunate and/or that one person must be unfortunate (lose) in order for others to be fortunate.
   
   No.  Nobody should feel guilty for being among the more fortunate in not having to face horrible loss/tragedy; but, no - "winners/losers" isn't "how life works".  It's how games and competitions work.  Who is fortunate and who isn't most of the time is of little consequence to anyone other than the person, himself (and his family/friends, maybe).

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      IDONOposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I'm sorry if my choice of wording was misleading. You are right. Life is not a competition and that wasn't what I was trying to convey. I hope no one is offended. That certainly was not my intention. Thank you for giving me opportunity to clarify.

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   Grace-Wolf-30posted 11 years ago

   Nobody should feel guilty for what other people don't have, or for successes. Every persons life is different, we are all given a unique roll of the ball. Each loss in life is an opportunity to grow stronger as human beings, and each success is a celebration of what we can achieve.

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      IDONOposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It's far different when speaking of people that "don't have" compared to those that had and then lost. There is a certain amount of guilt that sets in when  people of much higher standing than myself, suffer losses  ,while I don't.  Why am I lucky?

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   jansharesposted 11 years ago

   Of course not. No one should feel guilty for not experiencing the greatest hardships or losses. Their time just hasn't come yet. Some of us experience loss earlier in life and some, later in life. Thank God for every day of your life that doesn't include loss, for it is sure to come. Count your blessings as gifts and enjoy them. I would advise one who is experiencing this type of "survivor guilt" to direct that energy toward giving back or helping someone in need. This way, there will be balance in receiving and giving; there will no longer be a need to associate joy with guilt. Good question, peace to you.

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      IDONOposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Janshares. My question isn't about feeling guilty for not losing someone. My question is feeling guilty or arrogant by believing you are blessed by God while others aren't. I don't believe God to be punishing, but understand why some do.

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      MissBrandoposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Great comment Janshares. I thought it was very well put.

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   Renee Abbottposted 11 years ago

   I would hope no one feels guilty for their blessings. For those who still have their love ones, it is another day to cherish them. For those who don't, we cherish their memories. Are they both not blessings?

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   Tusitala Tomposted 11 years ago

   There is a story from ancient times of a woman who's tiny baby died in the night.  She went to The Buddha, for she truly believed that, if he wished, he could restore her child's life.  She pleaded and pleaded and would not understand when Buddha told he her was just a man and could not do that.
   
   Eventually, he said to her, go into the nearby city and if you can find any family  who has not had someone die then come back to me and I'll see what I can do.
   
   Well, she went into the market place and started asking around.  Everyone she spoke to had lost a husband, or wife, or brother, or sister.  Some had lost mothers or fathers or both.  Some had lost uncles and aunts.   She tried other places, poor people homes, rich men's residences.  Finally, after several days of searching she returned to Buddha, the dead baby still with her.  She stood before the Buddha and at last she knew:   nobody goes through life without losing someone.
   
   So I think that all this losers and winners stuff is nonsense.  It is our attitude to what life presents to us that makes us think we are winners or losers.   As I've said before, it is a case of 'mind matters most.'

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   stanwshuraposted 11 years ago

   I don't begrudge others for feeling blessed for their good fortune, NOR for said good fortune.  That said, I do bitterly reject any type of yin/yang idea that the millionaire must be balanced by the pauper!  In turn for not blindly hating and resenting those who enjoy a relatively comfortable life, I appreciate at least a considered respect for my sometime feeling jilted - yes, even by God - and wishing those who bask in blessings aplenty to look around and see how they might help others.

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   LoisRyan13903posted 11 years ago

   I honestly cannot think of anyone who has lost at least one loved on.  In my immediate family I have lost a father and an infant son.  Even with these loses I still feel blessed

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      IDONOposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I'd say that you know something about gratitude!

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