If you had a child with gender identity issues would you allow them to dress as

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   Thundermamaposted 11 years ago

   If you had a child with gender identity issues would you allow them to dress as the opposite sex?
   
   In the news I read an article that reported a school would not allow a 6 year old boy to use the boys or girls bathroom because, although he was physically a boy, he presented himself and identified as a girl. He was told he would have to use the staff bathroom instead. Previously he was allowed to use the girls bathroom. What a challenging situation. If your child wanted to present themselves to the world as the opposite sex would you let them? Would you limit where they could do this?

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   jlparkposted 11 years ago

   Yes, I would.
   Why? Because it is hard enough to be in a body that doesn't fit the gender you identify as, why would I want to increase that by disallowing my child to express themselves as who they see themselves?
   
   I would love them no matter what - they are my child.  Just like when you are expecting - most people don't care what gender the child is, as long as it is healthy.
   
   Would I limit the expression of their gender identity? Id like to think that I wouldn't.  I'd like to think that I'd fight for the right of my child to express themselves as the gender they identify with at all times that they wish to do so.  Sure, there will be times at which this is harder for both parent and child, than others.  But is it not a parent's job to stick up for, fight for, and protect their children? I'm in it for the long, hard haul - not the easy one.
   
   Funny thing is - it is usually the ADULTS who have the problem with it - it's the teachers, the board, the janitor even.  The kids are mostly "So, you are a girl then? Cool. Let's play" - as long as they have the basic answer to their question - kids really don't care.  They just want to know - is it so, and perhaps why, (but then again, a "Cause I feel like I'm a girl" is usually enough.) it is the adults that get all overly involved.
   
   I say "I'd like to think" as my partner and I are currently in the process of having IUI (Like IVF but not as technical!), and as yet are not parents.  However, as long as they are healthy - I don't care if there are gender identity issues, sexuality issues, Hell, any issues - I would love them, and work through it all the same.
   
   A question to those who wouldn't allow their child to express their identified gender to ponder - if you were told you were not to express yourself as you saw youself - say as a man, you were told you MUST wear a dress because it is expected of you, or as a woman - you MUST wear a suit, tie etc - yet that was not something you did, nor ever waned to do - how would you feel? It is society's misunderstanding and insistence on labelling and boxing people that put these kids through hell.
   
   Girls bathroom - phsyically boy gendered, girl identified child - one thing they neglect to remember - Girls bathroom have STALLS - no one is going to accidentally see a 'peepee' and be traumatised or bully the child.

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      jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Wow, thanks Thundermama! For the child in question though - her mama is wonderful - fighting the battles she's too young to realise there are...she just wants to be able to be who she is, even if no one else thinks she should be.

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   lmpoundsposted 11 years ago

   If I had a child struggling with gender identity I would of course be supportive in whatever ways I could be.  I would surely be fighting with that school to make sure my child is not made to feel like more of an outcast.   I understand that this is not something schools deal with on a regular basis and I can imagine they are unsure of how to handle the situation.  There will be backlash no matter what kind of decision they make.  However, as educators they are responsible to make sure ALL children are being treated equally.  If the child identifies as female and the parents accept that their child identifies as such then the school should address the issue as just that.  A girl wanting to use the girls bathroom.  There are stalls for a reason, there would be no exposing of body parts and everyone is safe.

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   JThomp42posted 11 years ago

   NO... That is what is wrong with this country. If you are born a boy that is what God intended for you to be.

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      lmpoundsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      JThomp42 I have to disagree with you.  God made us all with such unique differences.  Our differences are used to teach one another acceptance.  Accepting someone struggling with gender identity takes compassion, understanding and love.  That is GOD

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      JThomp42posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Agree to disagree. God does not make mistakes.

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      Brandi Cooperposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I agree that God doesn't make mistakes but that doesn't mean gender identity issues don't exist. It's just another type of disorder - one that has existed for centuries. Why condemn someone for something they can't help? God wouldn't want that.

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      JThomp42posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Then let them make up their own mind when they are older. To subject a child to the actions that will occur if you allow them to do this is just cruel. They will be bullied to no end, beaten up, etc. Children can be so cruel. Adults also (Teachers)

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      jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      JThomp - that is why you fight for your children. And why parents should teach tolerance and acceptance if difference. Then we could conquer the bullies. Instead of teaching hatred and intolerance.

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   peeplesposted 11 years ago

   For me this is a tough issue. At home I would not have an issue with it. However I think I would have an issue with my child dressing that way away at school. As a parent of a male child who has shown feminine traits (Not dressing as female) since toddler age I would not want to set him up to be picked on at such an early age. My son who has the feminine traits is 9. When he's out in the yard playing with the neighbor hood children I will occasionally hear things said that aren't very nice, not bullying, just not nice. Society is a messed up thing. Everyone dislikes what they personally do not agree with. Sadly this trickles down to our children. Why would I send my child into such hate?
   I think a better solution would be to explain the faults of the world in simple terms and once they get older leave that decision to them. If at a mature age they decided that was what they wanted then I would support it.

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   Brandi Cooperposted 11 years ago

   If a child has gender identity disorder, they should be given the same allowances any other child with any other disorder is given. You shouldn't condemn, ignore, or judge one disorder just because it isn't socially acceptable or because people are too sensitive to handle it. If my child was struggling with GID, I would do my best to give them the help they needed. I would probably homeschool them as well, at least until they were older and could understand our society's stigma on things it doesn't understand and doesn't agree with. Especially considering the fact I live in the Deep South, where that sort of thing would most certainly not go over well.

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   CC Saint Clairposted 11 years ago

   Jthom said, *If you are born a boy that is what God intended for you to be.*
   
   If one believes in God and his divine plan, you, as the parent of any particular child, are the other ESSENTIAL cog in that  divine plan.
   Accepting that child's specifics + actively loving that child in a genuine way + making peace YOUR disappointments, fear, insecurities and personal struggles with the specific challenge that has befallen you and your child is what REAL life, real love is about.
   For those of us who don't believe in a *religion-based god*, the karmic plan and its tests and challenges that befall us for very specific reasons is the equivalent of the divine plan.
   
   In regards to bullying etc. yes, of course, that is a real possibility but it is one that befalls many other children.
   These days, school managements/teachers are likely to be a lot more sensitive to gender and sexual differences than before.
   It would be best to enroll their support from the beginning.
   Beyond that, gender diff is just another situation that has to be managed cleverly and from the heart by as many participants as possible and the rest is ... what life is about.
   Never meant to be easy-peasy :-)

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   arch reeposted 11 years ago

   i guess i am a conservative and as i have my own views i would say strictly no!, if he phisically is aboy then he should be treated and treat him self like one, and as he is only 6 years old , it is easy to change, he ant make right decisions  for him self !

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