Why do people make and break promises?

1. 83

   midget38posted 12 years ago

   Why do people make and break promises?

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2. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   Sometimes people bite off more than they can chew or they make a promise while they are  caught up "in the moment".
   Most likely they have not done any (serious) introspective thinking prior to making the promise. Other times people really don't know themselves very well or they honestly believe they can do something which they can't. Lack of maturity is also a factor.
   Life is full of lessons.
   Breaking a promise doesn't automatically make someone a "bad person" it just means they are an "irresponsible person".

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3. 79

   Express10posted 12 years ago

   There are lots of reasons, many times people do overreach their abilities or they may be attempting to mask something else. Some people are selfish or completely irresponsible while other times the person may simply encounter a conflict that they cannot overcome. It may also be possible that they had a different perception of things when they made the promise but have come to a different conclusion. It's quite annoying when you're the one being let down but it's also important to remember that quite often it may have absolutely nothing to do with you.

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4. 75

   SidKempposted 12 years ago

   If we focus on promises that would actually be beneficial if we carried them out, then this is a restatement of Aristotle's "problem of Will" where he says, "We know the good, but we do not do the good." It's been a stickler in Western philosophy for thousands of years.
   
   I feel that the Eastern tradition has done a bit better by integrating spiritual psychology with training of the Will (not willpower, which can be violent, but genuine, loving, non-violent Will). Jung said it would be a while before the West caught up. We are beginning to with the advent of the psychology of Emotional Intelligence. We are learning how to use vows and promises effectively.
   
   To learn more, you can read my two hubs about creating and keeping New Years resolutions.

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5. 0

   JThomp42posted 12 years ago

   Out of good intention to begin with, then something else may come along. Be it a better opportunity or something that has to be taken care of immediately. No matter the reason, one should contact the other and explain and apologize.

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6. 84

   ii3rittlesposted 12 years ago

   When a person is not able to be accounted for their own word to them-self, they will not be able to take account with the words they give to others. If the worth of their words is nothing to themselves, the worth of their word to others is not either.

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7. 80

   jennshealthstoreposted 12 years ago

   A lot of times people break promises without meaning to. They intend to do what they say, but for whatever reason they cannot follow through.
   
   Some people promise things for their own benefit, to get what they want. Like promising to do something for you if you do something for them.
   
   Some people promise things to try to win your affection. They will yes you to death or tell you things they think you want to hear and fear if they say no to you you will no longer be interested.
   
   I try my best not to make promises. I always try to say that I will do the best or I will try my hardest. I do not like to promise because I know that life always throws us curves and I do not like breaking my promises.

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8. 59

   MickSposted 12 years ago

   Lack of honour.----------------------------------------------------

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9. 88

   ChitrangadaSharanposted 12 years ago

   Promises are probably made to be broken. Better not to make promises, if you are not sure of keeping it.
   Sometimes situations or circumstances may not be as expected, which might lead to non fulfillment of promises.
   Life is not so predictable....if someone is not able to fulfill the promise, there can be reasons for him/ her.

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10. 81

    tillsontitanposted 12 years ago

    In my mind its a lack of respect.  If you can't keep a promise, don't make it!  Why disappoint and make yourself look bad when you can simply not make the promise in the first place.  "I will TRY to do such and such", not "I promise".

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11. 0

    khmohsinposted 12 years ago

    A promise is the hope we should take it seriously bcause for every promise you have to pay the price.Its very bad habit to break promise.If u can't fulfill it just do not promise.

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12. 59

    Willyjames77posted 12 years ago

    hey hey hey Hold on @tillsontitan,  just one sec. I know it hurts when someone break the promises but who loves you can't do it, may be there are some circumstances that make him/her break the promise, so we can't predict whether  he/she want to break it up.

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13. 66

    howtobeasuccessposted 12 years ago

    For me it depends much on the promise that is made. There are some people who keep on making promises even though they know that keeping it is really hard to do. This is the reason why they usually end up breaking their promises. The though is quite simple, if you make promises that you can surely do then there would be no reason why you can fulfill it. The simple rule, only make promises when you could place your life as bet to fulfill it.

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14. 77

    Li Galoposted 12 years ago

    If it's happening on a regular basis it's because of one of two reasons.  They are either (a) a flake without integrity or (b) lacking time management skills and don't know how to break the cycle.  Either way, I don't put up with it in my life.
    
    For anyone, there's always something that may happen in life, like a flat tire, an unexpected required bill to pay, etc. that may stop them from fulfilling a promise - at the moment - but it shouldn't become the reason they never do it.  These things should be so infrequent that no one would consider them a personal characteristic of yours.  If they happen regularly, that's bad.  I dropped all of those flaky friends and family from my life when I got to be about 25 years old and I never looked back.  I'm so much better off for it!
    
    I don't put up with extreme tardiness either.  A friend once showed up 2 hours late to a dinner party I threw.  His excuse was that time got away from him. I told him - in no uncertain terms - that he would never be invited back to another dinner party if he was going to rsvp that he'd be there on time and then show up that late again.  Flaky friends are for fools.  By the way, he never pulled a stunt like that again on me and we are still friends.

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15. 64

    soconfidentposted 12 years ago

    Sometimes we are put in a situation that will cause for quick decisions and will cause a promise to be broken

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16. 61

    shwetha123posted 12 years ago

    In my opinion its easy to make promises but its really very tough to follow it. So most of the time people make fake promises and as the time passes they forget their own words.
    
    So in my opinion if a person is not able to be accounted for his/her own words then why they make promises.

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    1. 72

       dashingscorpioposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       You stated "its (easy) to make promises but its really very tough to follow it" Doesn't that imply some promises are made with the intention of being kept? Sometimes people end up adjusting their priorities based upon unforeseen circumstances.

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