Can you ever truly trust someone after they have betrayed you? If yes, how? If n

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   Jess Charoposted 10 years ago

   Can you ever truly trust someone after they have betrayed you? If yes, how? If no, why not?

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   sparkleyfingerposted 10 years ago

   I tend to trust people until they give me a reason to distrust them. If they do, then it is their own fault if i question them in future.
   I will, however, in certain circumstances (like they've told a little white lie rather than something awful) give them a chance to win my trust back, and that takes time.
   In saying that, though, there will always be a little niggle of doubt, so i can't say that I'd truly trust them.

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      Jess Charoposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I agree that there will always be that nagging feeling of doubt

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   artist101posted 10 years ago

   
   
   Trust is earned. When someone betrays you it feels like a knife, cutting through your confidence, and foundation of any given relationship. Be they your mate, friend or acquaintance. Like they pulled the rug out from under you, the very foundation that the relationship was built on.
   Know that hanging on to that past hurt only hurts you, not them. To forgive is devine. They are only human after all.
   An apology, goes a long way, leaving only a scar, not a gaping wound. Some destructive people can not quit picking at the scab, and making it bleed again. This is what makes us defensive, and cautious. It is an innate human response to protect yourself from future hurt. Do we not try to catch ourselves when we fall? An innate response to pain.
   Time heals all wounds, including betrayal. The choice is yours, and yours alone. How far did they cross the line, did they stop the behaviour, and can you tolerate the pain? Do they give you reason to believe they will, or will not continue the bad behaviour?  Betrayal is not ok, and deserves an apology, what ever the circumstance.
   Again, trust is earned.

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      Jess Charoposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Well said ;-)

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      artist101posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      thank you, been in those shoes on numerous occasions.

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      Jess Charoposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      You and me both. It begins to be not about what they did to betray you but more about the lack of remorse they sometimes have. No resolution leaves an open wound that never quite heals.

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      artist101posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly, its kinda like a "closure" thing. Apologize for the action, so we can get past this,moving forward, not back word, just to dwell on past hurts, and transgressions. It accomplishes nothing in the end. Thank you for the best answer vote,

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