What is the best method to hide our hatred towards a person?

1. 60

   Kevin Peterposted 11 years ago

   What is the best method to hide our hatred towards a person?
   
   Whenever I feel discomfort towards a person I am not able to hide it. Please give me a good advice.

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2. 64

   soconfidentposted 11 years ago

   Try not to be around them for starters. You can also have someone with you that makes you comfortable and keep your mind off of that person.

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   JThomp42posted 11 years ago

   Avoid them at all costs. It is very unhealthy to hate, let alone be in their presence. It is a very toxic environment.

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   Sri Tposted 11 years ago

   Be honest with yourself. Whatever arises in you, belongs to you. It is your own energy. It is not the other person. Any hatred within is actually self hatred trigger by a concept in your own mind. It is your own internal experience. The other person is an illusion appearing to be the cause.

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      Jewelsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Nice answer.  How true it is.  People say how toxic hatred is, though when you acknowledge it there is a passion locked within it.  Of course the projection toward someone else, is a reflection of the self.

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5. 62

   jravity1posted 11 years ago

   Become friends with this person.  Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. If you can fake being friends with someone you hate, you can try to figure out what the problem is from the inside out. There is obviously a problem...but is it your problem or theirs. Try to figure out why you hate this person. What happened and what could be a solution.  Do not avoid....evade.   If you avoid your out of range to attack back, if you evade you don't get hit and your still in range of your target. Good luck

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6. 73

   lburmasterposted 11 years ago

   Kill them with kindness. It's always the best method. The most you can do is advise them, carefully, of ways to improve themselves in a manner that benefits them *cough cough*. Try reading Emotional Intelligence for Dummies. There's an entire chapter on how to change people for your benefit.

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      nArchuletaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I've got to read that chapter -- sounds like I need it. Thanks for suggesting!

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7. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   You get to choose who you spend your time with! Avoid hanging out with people you dislike.
   If you are "forced" to be around someone you "hate" do some introspective thinking to determine why you "hate" them in the first place.
   Do you secretly envy them? Do you dislike them because their (opinions/beliefs) are not in line with yours? We always have the option of focusing on the areas we have in common with people we deal with. You may be throwing the baby out with the bath water.
   Last but not least remember the opposite of love is not "hate" it's (indifference). Hate indicates you (care) on some level about their thoughts, opinions, or actions. It's an investment of your emotions and mindshare. The reason why you don't hate a stranger is because you have no (feelings) towards them whatsoever. You don't care!
   Why do you care enough about this person to feel anything?

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8. 77

   alphagirlposted 11 years ago

   Find something about that person that is positive and focus on that so that you can change your brain chemistry. If you can't do that avoid the person if you can't control impulses, get an ally to be near by to make gestures to you to remind you to keep my composure. Good Luck.

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9. 52

   whonunuwhoposted 11 years ago

   I believe that we do not so much hate, or despise a person. as the actions, manner in which they speak and react, or philosophy they may preach. We may not like or appreciate what a person does or says, yet we may never know what that individual may have experienced in their life that has made them the way they are, in general. Perhaps there was an abusive childhood, disaster that greatly affected their attitudes in life or suffered a tragic event which governs their actions. We should not judge, nor act in hatred towards anyone. We do not have to agree with them or how they behave, and the best way to approach this is to ignore and not point out or acknowledge their wrongdoing. Thanks for this very good and provocative question. whonu

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10. 82

    peachpurpleposted 11 years ago

    I hated someone too. She is better than me, talking behind my back, backstab me and always trying to act kind when it is obvious she is trying to use me at all cost. She is my sister in law. What can I do? Avoid her at all cost by not visiting her, if she goes the same gathering, I don;t appear at all. If she calls me, don;'t answer. Don't even want to think about her. Hence, the hatred would subside slowly.

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11. 71

    stanwshuraposted 11 years ago

    As I see it, you have a choice of three:  1) you can do nothing and not rock the boat, yet continue to suffer in silence   2) you can try to avoid the person outright, or make contact as brief as you can, maybe ask to change departments or change hour gym or wherever this is happening, or  3) you can ask the person when they have a few minutes to talk, and address this 800 pound gorilla in the room head on, truthfully, tactfully, civilly, and fairly. 
    
    Maybe the person isn't aware of whatever it is that troubles you.  Maybe you are being overly sensitive about something they can't help or of which they are not aware. 
    
    Or, sadly, a permanent physical separation may be necessary, whatever that entails.   If it is conduct that is illegal, or hostile or intimidating, you can report it and have whatever powers that be figure out a solution, hopefully involving input from you both.   
    
    Very good luck to you.  I hope everything works out.

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12. 71

    WalterPoonposted 11 years ago

    I don't think hiding our hatred is a solution. True, there are people whom I dislike but I don't waste my life and my time thinking of them or hating them. Hate poisons our body, and I already have an overdose, even without them adding to it. I just ignore them, even when I accidentally bump into them face-to-face. They have the right to live, just as much as I do. So to each his way...

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    nArchuletaposted 11 years ago

    Fake it til you make it. Just hide behind a smile. Your feelings are what they are, and you have the right to them. But if this is someone you work with (heaven forbid a boss -- been there!) or another person you can't avoid, just smile and talk about whatever you read about that day, your pet, celebrity gossip... whatever inanity gets you through the minutes you must spend with that person.

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    taburkettposted 11 years ago

    WOW - hatred is such a wrong emotion. 
    With it, people waste a lot of energy trying to combat an emotional state that is as far removed from love as possible. 
    This results in damaging physical and mental reactions internally affecting the future state of the individual who displays this deep emotional dislike for another individual. 
    It is easy to recognize hatred because it displays a detrimental aversion that affects the individual with emotional distress.
    Due to this intense self-inflicting phenomenon the hostility gravitates to critical self-inspection that further causes the individual distress.
    The easiest way to avert such distress is to immediately recognize that the greatest feeling you can have about this other individual is that you are not required to like this individual. 
    This simple recognition can then be expanded to the fact that you are not required to accept responsibility for that individual.
    you must recognize that your health  is more important than the hatred.
    this is what a healthy individual does.

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