How can you get over your ex when you still have feelings for them?
Especially when they won't leave you alone but their bad behavior never improves.
Sometimes I feel that if you truly care about someone deeply enough to try to make a long term relationship work, your feelings never go away for that person. When you spend so much time and energy on something, that energy still exists within us, and it is difficult to put it toward something else when the relationship fails or both parties decide it is best to move on from each other. Moving on is extremely difficult in some cases and one must first grieve it as a loss, and then you may be able to move on to better days. Take as much time as you need to grieve the loss, but do not dwell on the past, try to remember why the relationship didn't work and put some extra energy into the things that make you happy such as a hobby. Eventually you will be able to move on and find happiness with someone else (if that is what you desire). Distance between you and them is a must when you feel the need to move on. If you can not grow separately, you can not grow together, and if you can not grow together, you must try to grow separately.
I don't know if that answers your question, but that is the best answer I can give. This situation is never easy, but with time it will get better.
You probably will always have some feelings for a long-term ex but overtime those fade as you find love with a new person that treats you the way you want to be treated. When this happens you'll look back at all the drama your ex put you through and wonder why you stayed with them for so long.
Unless there is a major reason why you need to stay in contact with your ex such as having children in common, then you shouldn't feel obligated to take his calls, respond to his emails. You get to (choose) who you want to talk to or spend time with. It's possible to block email addresses, have caller ID so you can reject calls. Instead of blaming (him) for not leaving you alone you have to take responsibility for your taking his calls in the first place. It's your life! Take the wheel!
by Steven Escareno 2 years ago
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