It is a myth that men fear marriage!
1.In the U.S. for example 2.3 Million weddings take place each year. The vast majority of those occur after a (man) has proposed.
2. The U.S. Census Bureau of statistics indicated in 2008 (there were only 16% of men who were between the ages of 40 and 44 who had never been married). In other words a whopping (84% of men) had been married at least once before age 45! One might also assume that some of the 16% who did not get married may have been gay.
3. In 2011 Wild River Review published an article “Divorced men remarry quicker than divorced women”. At ages 45 plus about one third of men remarry compared to twenty-five percent of women. There is speculation that once a man has been married he sees benefits while the divorced woman is more likely to feel disillusioned about marriage and welcomes her newfound freedom.
The myth about men being "afraid of marriage" is most likely tied to two things since the (vast majority) of men DO get married.
a) Timing - They are not ready to marry when the woman wants to.
b) She's not "the one!" - He does not feel certain the woman he is with is "the one". Oftentimes he ends up marrying someone else!
If there is any "fear" men have about marriage it's getting Divorced! Men are still most likely to suffer financially if a divorce occurs. (forced out of the house, alimony, child support...etc) In America a survey revealed that (women) initiated 66% or 2/3rds of all divorce filings!
Apparently unhappily married men would rather cheat than run to the courthouse and file for divorce! LOL!
That last statistic is so sad. I can't think of much of anything more horrible than to think of divorcing my wife. It's sad that more people don't choose to commit to each other and work out their problems.
Yes it's a sad statistic but one that was rarely if ever looked at before. We always hear about the divorce rate being around 50% but no one was looking at the gender filing for the divorces, Today's women have more independence and take less crap!
dashingscorpio makes some good points.
But I am curious as to what advantages marriage offers a man any more. People sleep together for entertainment or friendship or because a particular day as an "y" in it ;-) I don't approve but is sure seems that in today's world a man doesn't necessarily get any more advantages with marriage unless is a tax deduction.
I suspect some men enjoy the stability of having someone clean the house, cook meals, raise kids, do laundry, plus regular sex. Women on the other hand imagined marriage to be quite different. Getting little or no help is their #1 complaint.
Some men don't fear it but rather they look at it with reason. There is no difference between a long term relationship and a marriage except for a legal bind. In other words, you get the same advantages plus one extra one. Without marriage, either person can choose to part ways if feelings change, without legal baggage. Also there is the wisdom and understanding that life is a journey where people will enter and exit peoples' lives for different reasons. Since the exit is inevitable, there is no point in clinging to anybody. It has to end someday. Humans are the only ones who feel the need to be tied to someone. A desire to cling. It's like when you buy a pet. You can enjoy it for years but eventually it must move on. Everybody and everything disappears. Nothing is permanent.
Only guys that I've know to fear marriage, fear it for two reasons. They fear a divorce in the future or more commonly they don't like the idea of being tied to one sexual partner. So it's either they fear their partner not loving them enough or they fear losing sexual variety with others.
Not (wanting) to be tied down to one sex partner is not a fear. That is about desire. Fear means being "afraid". Just because someone (wants) variety doesn't mean they're "afraid" of having the same meal everyday! It just wouldn't make them happy!
I don't know it quite often seems like they are afraid of it literally. Some of the guys I know fear losing the freedom even when they do love someone. I kind of worry about them when they seem so torn because it really messes with them internally.
Most men fear commitment and as a common reason it is things don't often work out, they are afraid of giving up their lives for their marriage, Being married is great change making most men vulnerable to their relationships
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