Dr. R wants to know:
Do women work harder to make a relationship work? Why or why not?
Each woman and man is different and some do work harder than their partners do to make a relationship work. But I wouldn't generalize either sex as working harder than the other to make a relationship work because any good relationship should ebb and flow. If only one of the partners is always doing the lionshare of the work to keep things going well, they need to get their partner to do more or they must get out of that relationship, there must be both give and take from both partners.
And there in a nutshell is one of the reasons that so many relationships and marriages are not working...because people are not putting in the work during the courtship (if they even have one) to ensure they have a good match and they aren't doing their work during the marriage to ensure good communication and more. Relationships are work, too many forget it until things are going off the rails.
In a great relationship, there's not much "work" to it. In dysfunctional ones, both men and women have ways they try to make things work, but they may not recognize what the other person is doing.
For instance, it took me a long time to appreciate that a man going to work IS part of his effort to make the relationship work. I just thought it was something everyone does and didn't give credit, even though I'd have claimed I worked harder because my efforts were directly related to the relationship itself.
I think it all depends on each person's dedication. It can go either way.
I think that Jellygator sums it up in the first two sentences.
According to statistics (women) initiate 66% or 2/3rds of the divorces in America. There is speculation that better career opportunities and higher pay have provided women with "more options" than their mothers, grand-mothers, and great-grand-mothers ever had. The more options someone has the less crap they will put up with! LOL!
In all honesty I believe "gender" has very little to do with what someone considers to be their "deal breakers" in relationships. The person who is the most "emotionally invested" in the relationship is likely to bend over backwards to keep it alive. Naturally men who have had their hearts broken are not going to believe that women "work harder" just as women who have had their hearts broken are not going to say men "work harder".
It's anyone's guess what gay and lesbian people would say. As I stated earlier I believe each "individual" makes the call as to whether or not it's worth it to invest more time in a relationship they are unhappy with.
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