If someone gives back to you sometimes, does it mean they're not using you?
Well that depends on how you look at it. Technically yes, they are asking of you. Therefore using you for what they need. Giving back just means that they appreciate it and will do the same for you. If you look at it logically, then no. It is all part of having a relationship with someone. We give and get. They may need a little more receiving then others. If they will give back to you. That means that they value your relationship, and you mean more to them.
People who are only using you, won't give back. They want, and want. Yet, give nothing in return.
Every person is not the same and and won't use you but in certain cases yes, if you get back from someone and you know that person needs a favor from then he or she is only trying to do the right thing it is the principle of things that count
Not always. Sometimes people toss out crumbs to someone to keep stringing them along. A desperate person might mistake the crumbs for the whole cake!
We say things like if she or he really didn't care about me they would not have done such and such. Mentally we're playing the old game "He/she loves me, he/she loves me not." Clearly if we are doing this it is because we do not feel (assured) that the relationship is a solid one.
When someone is "in love" with you or "values" you to a high degree there should be (too many instances for you to count) when you both have given and done things for one another. When we start to notice that it is us that always initiate the phone calls, go to their place to visit them, come up with ideas for the weekend, or creating experiences to keep romance and passion alive...it's only natural to wonder "What would happen if I stopped?"
I knew a woman who thought she had a "best friend" until one day it dawned on her that she was doing all the stuff to keep the friendship alive. Whenever they went out to lunch she picked up the tab. She made the calls to check in and so forth. One day she stopped and the lady didn't call her for over a year, when she did call she wanted to "borrow" some money!
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
That is some of the best advice I have ever heard. And yet we have been taught it's wrong to be "aware" or keep track of who is doing what for whom. So we go along until it's painfully obvious we're allowing ourselves to be used. I do mean (allowing). The first thing a relationship/friend "user" will say is; "I never (asked) you to do this or that."
"If something doesn't feel right to you then it's probably not right for you."
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