Why are the stable marriages rare these days ?

Jump to Last Post 1-4 of 4 discussions (10 posts)
  1. Harishprasad profile image83
    Harishprasadposted 4 years ago

    Why are the stable marriages rare these days ?

    It is an unfortunate phenomenon these days that couples part ways very soon and enter into new realtionships just to experience a fresh break up. When I think about a marriage relationship, I see it as a relationship that we enter into calling someone as mother,father,sister and brother, relationships that can not be broken even if we want to. Then why do we not accord the same sanctity to this special relationship that is called marriage and make it enduring for a life time ?

  2. Marie Flint profile image92
    Marie Flintposted 4 years ago

    I myself am in an estranged relationship and attribute the major problem in marriages to 1) constructive communication and 2) lack of financial planning. Actually, the latter probably wouldn't matter so much if both parties in the relationship put spirituality first.

    The all-consuming activity of making money puts a stress on the individual and the couple, thus making time for intimacy and the sharing of dreams and deep feelings at risk.

    My daughter watches "Til Debt Do Us Part," a television series devoted to fixing financial debt and relationship issues between couples. The hostess of the program states that "debt is the number one reason couples split up."

    Infidelity results from that lack of intimacy, especially when one's schedule is different from the other's. Everyone wants to be loved. Until we've reached a higher state of consciousness, divorce rates will undoubtedly continue. One has to be able to see and appreciate the freedom within the so-called confines of the relationship. The extent to which one feels emotionally malnourished is an indicator of the stability of the marriage. And, one's personal character as to whether he or she has a conscience and listens to it always comes into play. If one is from a broken home, that individual will more than likely repeat the pattern. In other words, divorce begets divorce.

    Ultimately, the karma gets balanced. There is such a thing as having grown out of a relationship. In that case, when one has learned from whatever ego entanglements the relationship posed, it is time to move on with one's life, especially if it is to answer a higher calling to perform "the greatest good for the greatest number of people."  ~~~

    1. Harishprasad profile image83
      Harishprasadposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Marie Flint, I agree to your view that we must sprinkle some spirituality on us to appreciate good as well as bad traits in our partner and move with  lives with a greater understanding. Spilt ups are there cause couple fail to gauge each other well.

  3. dashingscorpio profile image86
    dashingscorpioposted 4 years ago

    You have to wonder if marriage really has changed all that much or is it people's (expectations) of marriage have changed.
    One thing for certain is the biggest change since the 1950s era has been more equality for women. Women today have better career opportunities and higher pay than previous generations of women. This gives them more independence financially. In essence today's woman has more "options" than her grand-mother or great-grand-mother had. 
    In the U.S. It has been reported that (women) initiate 66% or roughly 2/3rd of all divorce filings. The more options one has the less crap they will take! :-)
    Historically we have always measured the success of a marriage only in terms of how long it has lasted on paper. We didn't care if the couple slept in separate bedrooms, lived in different areas of the house, barely talked to one another, stopped being intimate. Statistically we called simply "staying together" a successful and happy marriage.
    I personally believe the #1 cause for divorce is and always has been (selecting) the "wrong mate" for oneself. This happens for a variety of reasons such as getting married before you know yourself ( your wants, needs, and desires) in a mate for life, marrying someone you have not spent enough time with to figure out if you want and expect the same things from a marriage, or getting married for the wrong reasons; (age goal, unplanned pregnancy, all your friends were doing it.) Some people even get married because (their) mate (loves them) even if they don't feel the same way about him or her.
    Divorce is nothing more than a public admission that a mistake was made. Our society tends to say human beings make mistakes but the one exception to this rule (apparently) for some is getting married! It's not politically correct to admit this happens!
    Logically we know not everyone we have relationships with are suitable and compatible for us long term. Most of us fail our way to success in relationships.
    Divorce myth: Many people have this belief that getting a divorce is "the easy way out." The truth is it's a LOT easier to get married than it is to go through a divorce! Splitting up assets, paying legal fees, and alternating time with children is no "cake walk". It takes courage to make any major changes in one's life.
    Anyone who is unhappy in a marriage and chooses to stay is (choosing) to be unhappy. You can't change your mate. Everyone wants to be loved and accepted for who they (are).

    1. Harishprasad profile image83
      Harishprasadposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      dashingscorpio, humans are all imperfect and to search about everything pleasing and satisfying in our partner causes  conflicts in our lives. We fallible are to move with our vices  and virtues and remember that only God is 100% fit and not we.

    2. dashingscorpio profile image86
      dashingscorpioposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Harishprasad, We agree human beings are "imperfect" which means we (make mistakes) and sometimes we choose the (wrong) partner/spouse for ourselves. Not everyone marries the person God intended for us to be with. Oftentimes we (ignore) red flags!

  4. peeples profile image93
    peeplesposted 4 years ago

    I have a lot of views on the whole marriage thing. Times have changed in a sense. Years ago women were not always working. Many times simply caring for the children and their husbands. It didn't matter if a person was happy or with the right person because divorce would make them both look bad. People were stuck suffering in silence dealing with unhappiness. Men had very few options if they were in a sexless marriage. Women were stuck in abusive relationships.
    We are at a time now where no one is stuck sitting through an abusive relationship. No one has to live in a spiteful sexless home. There are options. If communication fails? Why not get divorced? Is there something good that comes from simply suffering out an unhappy relationship.
    Ideally a marriage would last a life time. However I have been divorced and am now remarried. I will never advocate a spouse staying with an abusive partner. If communication does not fix the problem, you are with the wrong person. No point in staying with the wrong person forever. It's better for all involved to move on.

    1. Harishprasad profile image83
      Harishprasadposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      peeples, the reasons for severing ties that you have quoted are all valid and I agree to that extent but the people who aspire everything perfect in their spouse are deficient in art of living and indulge in break ups on frivolous pretexts.

    2. dashingscorpio profile image86
      dashingscorpioposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Harishprasad, It's unrealistic to expect anyone to be perfect! However it's commonsense that people who tend to agree on the (major things in life) also tend to be happier and have less fights. The goal is to chose someone who shares your values!

    3. Harishprasad profile image83
      Harishprasadposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I am not averse to all that but one should not be too rigid so far comparability for each other is concerned. An accommodative attitude plays a magic in living. Thank you for such a nice response having a great depth and all wisdom.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)