Why do some women prefer being a mistress over being a wife?

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  1. dashingscorpio profile image82
    dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

    Why do some women prefer being a mistress over being a wife?

    Traditionally it was believed that most women became mistresses by accident. The married man hid the fact that he was married and the woman discovered the truth after she was emotionally invested in him. Today it's not uncommon to hear about women who knowingly get involved with married men. I know of one instance where a man left his wife and his mistress dumped him! She did not want a full-time relationship with him. What do you think is the attraction or upside to being the mistress?


  2. Jayne Lancer profile image93
    Jayne Lancerposted 10 years ago

    I think you answer your own question quite adequately: women who prefer to be a mistress are not looking for the permanent commitment a full-time relationship demands.

    1. dashingscorpio profile image82
      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Do you believe most of them are just going through a "phase" similar to chasing after  the "bad boy"? Is it something to do until "Mr. Right" comes along? or Do you think most of them want to avoid permanent commitment for life?

    2. Lapse profile image61
      Lapseposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Well said Jayne.
      Primarily most like the idea of this limited relationship.  I guess the rest have a damaged ability to judge relationships by being attracted to guys they can't fully have? 
      Some might be in that phase but that's a minority I think.

  3. ChristinS profile image38
    ChristinSposted 10 years ago

    There could be all sorts of motivations, from not wanting the responsibilities of a full time relationship, to wanting to feel "desirable" - and as a mistress, the woman probably gets some sense of excitement being in competition with the wife.  It could be just to boost her ego, or it could be she has issues with genuine intimacy beyond just sex. Perhaps some women keep a "sugar daddy" on the side that will spend money on them and give them material things - there could be any number of reasons.  Selfish people do things for selfish motives, and women that seek to be mistresses in my opinion are acting out of selfishness - what the motive for that selfishness is would likely vary case to case.

  4. bethperry profile image83
    bethperryposted 10 years ago

    I think it is a matter of selfishness, and for self-loving, shallow people who don't have the capacity to care about anything beyond their immediate carnal and/or financial interests, being a mistress or gigolo probably seems like the ideal lifestyle. I don't know why, but I suspect such people either never saw true love between their parents or were so spoiled rotten they think the world revolves around them...or, perhaps, both of these things.

  5. Hope2321 profile image59
    Hope2321posted 9 years ago

    There's always a sense of power when women get involved with other men who are either married or taken. It's more or less of ego or to make themselves seem desirable. It's not uncommon for instance for a girl at work to fall for their boss who is already married.
    There could be a number of reasons that woman do this, ego, power, to escape their own loneliness or own realities they can't be bothered dealing with.
    I don't really think mistresses can be selfish or caring, it's a matter of opinion to people. I honestly can't be bothered judging women who do this, it's their life and if they pay the consequence for doing something like this then so be it. Equally I hope the bf or husband in question takes responsibility and understands his own needs of his ideal relationship rather than to waste both of their time.
    Thank you for bringing this topic up, my friends and a few others are going through this themselves.


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