Should we look at monogamy and non-monogamy as similar to sexual orientation and

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   lillywhyteposted 11 years ago

   Should we look at monogamy and non-monogamy as similar to sexual orientation and gender?

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   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   No, monogamy is a lifestyle (choice) and not a genetic code.
   As a heterosexual male there was never a moment that I "decided or chose" to be attracted to women. It was in my (natural) genetic disposition to be attracted to them.
   Monogamy involves (promising to be faithful to someone) and later betraying them. Intentionally deceiving someone has nothing to do with one's orientation.
   If a person simply wants a "variety" of sexual partners there are plenty of people willing to be "booty calls", "friends with benefits", "no strings attached" or will even have sex for money. There are "swingers" and people who are into having "open" relationships.
   Therefore it is not necessary to pursue relationships with people who are looking for a "monogamous relationship". That would be the equivalent of a sexually oriented lesbian pursuing relationships only with men for fun. Cheating is a choice not an orientation.

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   lillywhyteposted 11 years ago

   Thanks for answering!  I think that we're approaching the terminology in different ways, though.  When I use the word monogamy, I simply mean "to be in a relationship that involves two and only two people (or the desire for such)"  Non-monogamy, to me, isn't about deception.  Yes, infidelity is wrong when one or both parties intentionally deceives the other.  But perhaps if we looked at it like an orientation, we wouldn't see so many deceptive behaviors from people who are not interested in monogamy, but aren't aware of any alternative other than to be completely alone.

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      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      We agree that monogamy means two people who have agreed to be in an "exclusive relationship" having no other sexual partners. (Most people) are aware of "alternatives" to this arrangement and yet they want someone all to themselves & not to share

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   Sustainable Sueposted 3 years ago

   The difference here is that there is judgement implied in "cheating," which is then extended to non-monogamy. There is no judgement implied in the sexual orientation vs gender category.

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   Lilly Turnerposted 3 years ago

   I think that yes, this is something close to orientation, since it is related to the relationship and how the person would like to see it

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