Have you ever found yourself knowing that someone was cheating on someone else you know?
2. If yes, did you keep it to yourself, confront the unfaithful person or rat the person out to the victim?
3. If you kept it to yourself, why?
4. If you confronted the unfaithful, how?
5. What type of relationship did you or do you have to the victim?
6. What type of relationship did you or do you have to the unfaithful person?
7. How did all of this turn out for you, the unfaithful and the victim?
Would you take the same stand as before or would you do things different?
If you have never found yourself in this type of situation, how do you feel you would react?
I posted a similar question not long ago. I have been in that situation and, to be completely honest, have kept it to myself. I was closer friends with the wife (the one cheating) than to the husband (in fact I didn't care too much for the husband), but the reason I kept it to myself was because the times in the past where I said something, I was resented for it. In the past I had informed a couple of girlfriends when their boyfriends were cheating on them and it ended up being a "shoot the messenger" situation and got ugly. I can only imagine if they were married. With the married couple, I was tempted to tell the wife that she should speak to her husband because they obviously have serious problems they need to address, but I didn't. Not my place, not my marriage, she's an adult and knows fully well what she should do. I simply don't want to get involved.
I've seen this happen when it was a best friend cheating and I've seen happen when someone was cheating on someone I knew but was not close to. In both instances I kept it to myself.
The one involving a best friend I did not feel it was place to tell him how to live his life and it was not worth throwing away a 25 year old friendship. Ultimately he ended his primary relationship and went on with his life.
With regard to the second instance it was pretty much the equivalent of me watching a TV show about people whom I barely knew. I have no idea of what eventually happened.
Odds are if I were in the same situation I would not change a thing. It's doubtful I would ever turn on my best friend or get involved in the lives of people I barely know. I've never been one who sought out drama. It's enough work to take care of things in my own life.
I kept it to myself on the occasion because I knew that the person did not want to know, or probably suspected but wanted others to believe that she had a perfect marriage.
On the other occasion I felt compelled to revel it because I knew that that person definitely wanted to know.
I know of someone that has felt guilty these past eleven – twelve years for being the stoolpigeon because she was close to both sides and feels most of her family including several that knew what was going on but felt it wasn’t their business nor hers, blames her for the outcome. The outcome wasn’t her fault. The one accountable should be that of the unfaithful. She was the brave one that stepped up to the family danger-zone to confess an unjust to the one that suspected but couldn’t prove the nineteen years of countless affairs.
The person being cheated on never blamed the others for their silence and often wondered what she would have done if she was faced with the decision of being the stoolpigeon or the one with silent lips. She is often reminded, right is right, wrong is wrong and with this, she would hope that her heart would give her the strength to do what’s right.
So I stand and applaud the one that found herself slammed between the rocks and waves, fighting for what was ethical and flying to the rescue of the victim.
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